The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

I know you don't want sympathy Ginsters so have this kindly, loving dead arm from me. Mwah.

I refuse to admit that I am not coping!

Am a bit stumped for places to offload in rl at the mo tho, so thanks for the support lovelies. I'll be alright, it has just all got on top of me today.

Don't tell anyone but I cried all the way to work this morning. And couldn't speak for the first hour cos I wasn't sure what I would do

It's more than the duffy stuff though. Just a lot of things happening at once. Blah blah blah

I luffs you all though.

And we luffs you too

Oh Gin you are coping. You got up this morning & went into work, didn't you? Bloody well done.

Don't worry, we won't tell anyone you cried. Tis always the way that good things happen singularly whilst shit rains down in a storm. Its the law according to sod.

gin sounds like you are having tough timez so rant away, Tis the place to be ranty tralalala lalalala. Shh we won't tell anyone your DHB status has been tarnished (not in our eyes anyway) Have some quality street and a satsuma.

lozzer i have checked package of M&S biccies and nowhere does it mention 'low fat/high fibre' Tsk, what ARE they thinking? I have had a couple of lovely choccie fingers. I am going to see what occurs and if no twinges by 4 pm then i might have a couple more. (ohhh living life on the edge!)

Hot water bottles are the shizz. FACT

any room at the inn deli for another Nile based differ? I bring a delicious plate of beef carpaccio

Have just got back from the midwife, who gave me a good feel and said 'hmm, yes, I think this baby is going to just glide out'. Ha! So now am expecting a lovely glidey labour without so much of a wince or a smudging of mascara.....

'ello bitey and congrats :)

ladyg hope the noodles help! Am not that ace for going in really, I was just spectacularly grumpy/emotional and so everyone spent the day kind of like this trying not to enrage the crazy lady. But they are used to that :)

And I did a load of Xmas shopping...as we had to make sure we had all our staff's pressies sorted (does that make me sound like a Lady of the Manor??if so HA!) before work nosh up on Friday. We are being extra extra thoughtful this year and buying everyone a proper personal present as well as taking them out and paying whatever bonus we can afford this year. we are quite nice bosses really even if I am a psycho ball of crazy at the mo.

masof course your baby will slide out with ease. Hopefully it won't even bother waking you up, so you'll just have one morning where you go 'hmmm, what a lovely sleep!' 'Oh, look darling, a baybee, how lovely!'

In an ideal world it would then pop downstairs and make you a cup of tea, but hey...this is the Real World we're talking about here

Hello Mas, I can't belieeeve that you are about to drop...sometimes I think it's amazing that so many of us are over here all fecund, like, after our many tribulations and RTODs etc . I'm so pleased to hear thAt your bay bee is just going to glide out...you must be delighted

Dromedary, you need to HAVE WORDS with Berwhale for scaring you like that..though maybe you are going to have moral clean living offspring who disapprove of your party lifestyle and want to spoil your fun, like Saffy off Ab Fab.

Sorry about the vile drink test-fail, Muse, you've been holding the pukey end of the stick this entire diffment, haven't you?

Scorpalina, another anterior placenta over here, and I started feeling movements from wk 20, now it's all over the shop, speshly when I lie down at about 9:30 pm. I am so conscious of this baybees existence, and I hearts it so much, that it's bizarre to thing that I still have no clue what it looks like, how it's going to be etc, sigh.

Polly....nightmare puke scenario avec SPD, you deffo need to start working that bay bee out now...you've got the pool ready, so nothing to stop you gliding a little one out !

Hello to everyone else, LGGG, ORCHID, and welcome and congrats to Bitey, I would have said hello to MrsFC, but I heard she'd been taken over by some demonic presence that GOES TO THE GYM AT 34weeks diffed, and other such shockingly nonESH behaviours! Urrgh...

Yo, cho!!

Awright GingleBells... Had realized I missed your name off my shout out there, but needed a wee, so hadn't had time to make amends....check me and you out, fourth and eighth from the top of the Notlist !

Welcome bitey

mas you'd better start checking your gusset every time you sneeze. You might find a baybee in there one day soon. :o

's awright cho, am not that easily hurt

I know tis mental innit. I'm actually joint 7th with muse according to consultant who INSISTS due date is 27th...

End of feb is going to be pretty busy round here.

Race you gin!

No sympathy from me, but, here, have a cat to cuddle. It's the one that bites. And is currently trying to get behind the tv because it is a mental. Also, have just ordered pizza and warm cookie dough from Pizza Hut. Enjoy.

Does sound like mucho crapness is raining down on you, I hope it all gets better soon.

I am currently feeling mardy because I had to stand all the way through our work's End of Year presentation crap - on account of being late on account of actually giving a fuck about my job and not waltzing out half an hour before the deadline with it half done. Like SOME other people did. Then they had fuck all good to drink for the non-boozey at the reception afterwards. Coke or lemonade. Oh joy. Yes I could have just had a glass of wine, but I do not like to waste my weekly allowance on cheap shit. So I left in a huff. I am very mature.

Am very cheered by the arrival of my secondhand nappies though. The wraps are so cute! One with all lions and shiz, one with whales and little fishes. Love them.

I am also very excited because I am going to use the last of my wedding present vouchers to buy this beauty to keep me toasty warm with baby. Yes I know it says handwash only. I know it will probably end up getting puked on and covered in poo. But I want it.

Lovely blanky muse i don't blame you for wanting it.

They sent a list round the office so we could choose our xmas gift, it was a big list of booze. I am not complaining as I think it is sweet that they give you a gift and also a choice, but at the bottom there was an option.

"can not accept alcohol due to being under 18 or on religious grounds" IDKY but something about it annoyed me. They didn't specify what the alternative would be, so me being suspicious it would be something crap i went for red wine, figuring TB can drink it or if its any good I can give it away (tight arse)

It's annoying because it assumes the only reason you wouldn't drink is because of religion. And also I think quite inappropriate and unfair to non-drinkers to have no choice.

The blanket went out of stock after I ordered it. It looks like I got the last one.

Huzzah for Bitey Welcome, you awd slapper!

And big smooches for ChoCho MMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAH!

Muser, I wish you were my boss. Not just in a kinky way - although I wish that too - but cos of your thoughtfulness over the Xmas booze issue. Have worked in 2 places where you had to choose from a wine list or a wine or chocs list. First one, ticked no booze: muslim bloke next to me got book vouchers; I got red wine (on the grounds that I could give it away; I am severely allergic to it, my parents don't drink and knew nobody who liked red wine). HARUMPH. Second place, said I couldn't have either, got fucking liquers. Ha-de-cunting-ha. At least Rocket can do summat useful with her choice.

I am also verh jalouse of your blanket.

My arsing laptop is refusing to connect to the wifi, despite TYF's desktop being able to. Am currently using facking broadband cable. Feel like I ought to be typing by candlelight and have done, FFS. Also got terrible cramps - I blame Lozza for mentioning them...

I didn't do much at the gym, mainly walked on the treadmill whilst holding on to the bars like an old person. And about ten lunges. And then a lovely shower.

I would like to be employed by gin please, you sound like a lovely company who really cares about all your employees. And fully deserving of your Lady of the Manor status!

Welcome bitey! and congratulations!

Lovely toasty blanket muse, good use of vouchers. And more excellent that you got the last one!

rocket good call on the wine, like you said, you can use it as a present, and it's probably worth more than whatever non alcoholic crap they give as an alternative...

Damn, forgot to welcome Bitey. Welcome fanged one. It's lovely to have new blood. Haha.

Welcome Bitey & congratulations.

Sorry about the cramps Scorps. But if I have that much power then today I shall mention feather light tummy flutterings, glidey labours, Muse blankets for all & whatever boss presents everyone fancies. Bound to all come true

Thanks all am rather at boss christmas presents. Our holy cow of an administrator gets something every year off bosses (last year a Radley purse) while we lowly ameobas were given a small box of celebrations. Between six of us. Think it is because she is the source of all evil quite assertive that they are too afraid to not make sacrificial offerings to give her something.

Bosses don't get nuffink tho. :( waaaaaaa.

Although I don't mind, am actually all excited that we have got really cool stuff for everyone. It's been a hard year and we are all pretty close (they are a lovely bunch) so it will be nice to show we care n all. And one of them got mugged last week which is really upsetting as she is a complete sweetheart and the gentlest person you could imagine. So we've put extra thought into hers!

mrsfc as you can add up n that and most of us are severely numerically challenged you would be very useful. Not sure maternity leave would be the best time to take you on tho!

Mooch slept all night. One brief sob but he didn't wake up (he's having bad dreams, poor boy.) and I'm off to get my mutant ribs fixed in a sec. Hopefully....