The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Yikes is all going off, score glad you are sounding a bit more chipper about your fall. Must have been scary and a shock at the time but I am sure everything will be ok with the nipper, you just might be a bit sore tomorrow. Drop your trousers and let me rub some of this arnica gell on your bum

lady have fun with mini gee, think you made a good call there. So sorry to here about your dad, that must have been tough at best but especially so while diffed.. xx (yeah, kisses, gonna make somat of it?)

cho think you are wise to try and take it easy a bit, hope you can catch up on some kip.

After being well up for all this travelling I am now getting cold feet, I just can't be arsed and apparently the roads back home are pretty hairy. My mum and dads road is impassable at the mo and although we can park a few streets away and walk, I am not sure about that in the snow laden with xmas stuff. I suppose we could leave some of it locked in the car but think I would just be para about it getting robbed. Hmph, really not sure what to do! Staying at home is looking veeeerrry tempting right now!

here/hear, sorry am rather tired.

Morning all, how's everyone today?

Scorps hope the aches aren't too bad. Its horrible falling over at the best of times, but diffed just adds to it, doesn't it?

LadyG I know not of slapped cheek, but if the nursery felt it was bad enough to put up a sign then it sounds like you made a good call.

Cho how are you feeling today? You sound like you haven't really slowed down much so I think the time has come to cosy up & do a load of sod all over the next few weeks.

No real news here. Last day in office until Jan - HUZZAH! Got stuck trying to get into car park this morning & car just elegantly spun around on the ice in a Torvill & Dean fashion. Thankfully those who had arrived before me came to my rescue with shovels & wellies & dug & pushed me into car park. So a lunchtime trip to Waitrose is prolly out of the question. Ho hum.

FWIW Cho, I think hormones are flying about all over the place at different times of pregnancy. I told my mum off on the phone last night for ?comparing? me to my friend who didn?t drink while breastfeeding (we were discussing the fact I would be sober this Christmas but could drink next.) We?d been having a perfectly pleasant conversation up till that point. But if you think it is more than that, definitely speak to your GP/MW ? I do believe there is such a thing as pre-natal depression, and might make you more susceptible to PND.

Sorry to hear about your fall, Scorps - I?ve been dreading doing the same throughout this weather. But baby is really well insulated, so just keep an eye on yourself. Any reaction to the flu jag?

lou you might want to try and move it at lunchtime, to check you aren?t stuck ? rather than discovering that at 5pm when it is pitch dark.

Do we think masratazz is hugging her baby right now? Oh I do hope so.

It's 10.30am and I have already been to buy the last of the Christmas presents before starting work. I had to go and buy cheese for my SIL. This meant I had to taste the cheese. Yum. Now I have to not eat the cheese before I can give it to her.

Now can we fast forward to 5pm and me going home please? I am ready for Christmas to start.

Med I've already checked what time "shovel hero" is leaving the office, so I won't be stranded tonight.

Muse my Waitrose trip was meant to be a cheese run. I luffs cheese. Especially all the crazy ones Christmas seems to bring. Saw one with cranberry & raisins not sure. So will prolly buy to check. And its 2 of my 5 a day

I too am ready for Christmas to start. If only to get away from those oh so crazy managers wearing santa hats.....

Oh, even talk of cheese isn't distracting me from thinking of Mas

Am hoping Mas is snuggling a gorgeous little newborn right now :) Can't wait for news!

Thanks for the continued concern, my PESHy loves. Back isn't too sore (YET), although my elbow has a massive bruise - am glad it took a lot of the force as opposed to my middle section - and my only reaction to the jab is my upper arm hurts if I lift my arm up high, so all is fine with me. Absolutely no unusual womblings, so huzzah!

Am now worrying about Loz in her car - thank gawd it's your last day until the NY (and hurrah for everyone finishing today, like Muse).

Med, sorry to hear your Mum's wound you up. Summat about pg brings out the urge to be interfering well-meaning in everyone. It's also compounded by us feeling hormonal and a bit vulnerable and fed up by people proffering advice, etc. My Mum has been hysterically telling me not to go out when it's icy and she has been proved annoyingly right! People who never touch a drop of booze when BFing are probably in the minority and most likely never or rarely drank before pg anyway, like me. Hell, even I will have a glass of something cold and bubbly next Xmas when BFing!

Hell ensues for me very shortly - trying to get TYF to have his tri-annual haircut (sigh), do some last min shopping and then fighting other shoppers to the death in Waitrose for the last organic rye bread in the East Midlands... (I have allergies! Those bastards are just looking for summat fancy for Xmas! I therefore deserve it more!)

PS Meant to ask - is anyone else getting unsolicited mail from shops specialising in preggo and baby stuff? I just rang one persistent offender to ask where they got my name and address from and they said when you register your pg with your GP, they pass your details onto Bounty who then pass them onto to all the local preggo shops in the area! Am not happy about this - I should fucking choose who has my details and sends me shit, not the bloody NHS. I am a deeply private person and on the TPS and MPS, ex-directory, etc.

I realise this is v trivial but FFS. Data Protection Act, anyone?!

Ignore above mard - have rung Bounty and politely asked to be removed from their database. None of their offers are relevant to me, so meh.

TYF just said, I'm glad you're back to being ranty - it was awful yesterday when you were all timid and upset after the fall.

CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!

Will stop cluster-posting now, honestly

I thought you had to actively sign up to the Bounty stuff to get bombarded? I did not and get nothing. Certainly GPs shouldn't sign you up without consent. Which isn't to say the consent box is a tiny thing you might miss.

I signed nuffink when telling my GP I was pg (which I did over the phone anyway) or at my first face-to-face chat with the GP or MW. The MW gave me the Bounty pack, but at no stage have I signed anything or been asked if my details can be passed on. I didn't want to join so have certainly not done anything to actively pursue it! So it was clearly done cheekily. Am a bit para about people having my details as I have an old Ex who was a bit 'strange' and stalky, so it made me v wary about stuff.

Still, am hopefully now not on their mailing lists, yay.

I picked up the Bounty thing from a rack at the hospital, so not signed up to anything. I have started signing myself up to stuff though, so that's starting to filter through, but I always tick the box to not have my details sold.

I haven't had anything preggo related through the post, haven't singed up to any of the Bounty stuff and Emmas fricking diary has been in the glove box since I stashed it there after first visit to GP (where is will stay until I get round to binning it) All those leaflets just screamed "we will bombard you with shite for the next ten years" so they went in the recycling. I think it is WELL out of order for them to sign you up without permission and a bit weird too.

score glad you are feeling better and flu jab had no disastrous effects. My arm was a bit sore the day after but then was fine.

pol hows the shoulder today? Hope you make it to the docs today and are reassured all is well.

loz enjoy last day in work, your productivity should be at approx 0% for the day, its the law.

hoping massiveattacks lack of postage is due to muchos snuggling with her new born. aahhhh.

Decided to skip hometown visit today and go straight to ultimate xmas destination tomorrow as my dad had a NIGHTMARE with his car this morning. Then will see rentals after xmas when hopefully the snow has dissipated a bit and the parking situ will be a bit better (parents close proxiity to town centre turns out to be a massive draw back this time of year) So feeling much more chilled about it. I am now going to go and buy lots of lovely cheese, inspired by you lot, I have a yen for some wensleydale with cranberries. mmmm.

I've started getting emails from Bounty! I can't remember signing up for anything. But wouldn't put it past Mr Loz.........

Scorps do not fret about me in the car. Lovely though it is that you care. Firstly I'm a lazy idiot for attempting to drive & secondly, I can't really do a lot of damage at 0.00000000001 mph.

I'm getting the "what are you doing out in this weather?" talk from everyone too. Thing is I can fall over my own feet on a flat surface without snow, so I do appreciate everyone thinking about me. My mum actually made me stop & think though, telling me just because I felt fine & I'm not hugely pregnant & it still feels a bit unreal, is ISN'T unreal, & I have another little person to think about. Yes mum

4 hours until I'm leaving the office.

Is weird isnt it lozzer? My friend who lives in town had left her car a few streets from my house in the snow over the weekend and she didn't want to ask me for help deicing or moving it in case I hurt myself in the snow. I told her she was being ridiculous and that I was pregnant not disabled. AIBU?

I know exactly what you mean Rocket. But I'm a total contradiction, as if it was a friend of mine diffed I wouldn't let them lift anything heavier than a wine glass tea cup!

Morning all, roll on home time Lozzer! Scropy am tres glad you are not feeling too sore after your tumble yesterday. Rocket and Cho glad you've decided to cut back on the visits and socialising. Stay home, snuggle up and eat delish xmas food instead!

Well I've had a nightmare of a morning. Sainsburys delivery man rang from neighbouring village saying he couldn't get any closer, his van was crappy rear-wheel drive and his sat nav was trying to send him all kinds of bizarre ways to our village, and then to top it off he started getting loads of warning lights flashing. He said if I could drive over (1.5 miles), he would load up the car for me. I thought 'fuck it' it is not that far and it is not exactly hilly (if you know which way to go!) Made it up the biggest slope no problem, and then there was a gentle descent into next village. Thank god I didn't meet anyone else there as I'd have had no chance of stopping - today was not really the best day to find out my car is SHIT on snow. So anyway, got there, loaded up car with shopping, Boo moaning constantly about being cold. Decided to go back the way I'd come as it was the least hilly. However, the gentle downhill slope on the way, was rather more difficult to get back up again. Got within 100 yards of the brow of the hill and we got stuck. Started sliding back down towards the sainsburys van - he'd decided to follow me as I know the roads (ha, that'll learn him!). Nice sainsbo's man tried to push me up the hill but no joy so I had to ring our landlord. He came out within 10 minutes, bless him, in his trusty old Defender. Unfortunately the defender developed a handbrake fault - every time LL got out to put on tow rope, the defender slid backwards! Which was fun. Anyway, eventually he sorted it, and after much sliding and slipping he got us to the brow of the hill and then I got us home. I tell thee though, by the time I got home I was ready to burst into tears of relief. FFS - bloody hormones have turned me into a sap! It has just taken me an hour to sort all the food out and check the substitutions but at least we have turkey, yay!

pol Very glad to hear you're home safely with your shopping and kudos to the Sainsburys man for trying to find a solution and at least having the sense to phone you to try and work something out. :)

medee A friend of mine had ante-natal depression, got lower and lower throughout her pregnancy - a brief respite towards the end, then flung in to PND. Had the sense to get to the docs PDQ though and is fine now.

Bloody HELL polly you are doing all this on your EDD and people wont even let me help de ice a car at 4 months? WTF? You are bloody amazing!!! WhereTF was TG at this point? ?

I am sooo glad its all over and you are safe at home with all your goodies. I;d stuff your face with some of that deliciousness asap if I were you.

He was a very nice sainsbo's man Pone - I think he is now stuck in neighbouring village waiting for someone to tow him. Feel quite bad for him. Gawd knows how they will get him out though, poor sod. So glad he was helpful - he could have just looked at the lanes and thought 'sod that for a game of soldiers' and pootled off to his next job.

@ Rocket. TG is at work today (first time if bloody ages) so I figured if he could get out, it should be ok (even though he goes a different route to work and his car is much better in snow than mine). Am finding it all rather amusing now I'm home and safe - TG is driving me to drs at 4pm,(I'm not that brave) and hopefully BP will have come back down then. After that we are getting fish and chips, going home and not leaving the house until a) the weather thaws or b) the baybee decides to glide out. I am not pigging out yet Rocket as I have a feeling sugary foods (which I am intolerant to and should not be eating anyway) have an effect on BP - want to get it measured to see if it has gone down cos I've had 3 or 4 whole days (yes, DAYS!) of not eating sugar. If it makes no odds, then today I will break open the tin of Celebrations as soon as I've woofed the fish and chips. And then I may open a bottle of pink fizzy stuff.

Bloody hell Polly. You truly are a DHB.

I'm really not Muse - was nearly in tears by the time I got home and was having bloody palpitations at the time! I think if Boo hadn't been with me I'd have just dissolved into a massive teary lump of snot. Finding it much funnier now though.

Mmmmmm, fish & chips - that sounds delish Pol.

A big cheer for Sainsbo man. What a love! That sounds like a nightmare journey - & here was me moaning about my little escapade in a bloody car park. I'm glad you are now staying put, surrounded by lots of goodies. Hope docs goes OK later.

Pliz has anyone heard from Mas? I'm driving myself crazy for some news.

But you held it together Polly. I'd probably be shaking in a corner right now.

Anyway, have just been informed we can leave at 3pm today. SWEET! Wasn't expecting them to turf us out early as they already gave us Christmas Eve off. I just have to work damn hard for the next hour to ensure I get myself suitably ready to go.