The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Oh luvver I'm so sorry. Maybe baby will hang in there til the weather is a bit better? You've got a couple of weeks and you never know... it doesn't need to be balmy, just enough they can be sure of getting to you...

Although if I was you I would get mentally prepared for hospital as tho that is the 'plan' and then if anything changes it's a bonus. Think about what is important to you that you can try and transfer to/achieve in a hospital environment. And remember whatever happens and wherever it happens you are going to have a baybee and it will be wonderful and good.

aww Poo, that's not good.

Ah pol 'tis rubbish, but I think Gin has a point about preparing for the hossie birth and then if it changes it's a bonus. I really hope baybee hangs on for a thaw though.

Biteme this sickness lark is rubbish isn't it! I had a similar experience on Sat in Tesco. I got to the checkout and thought I was going to pass out. I bought some crisps, scoffed them as quickly as I could, only to feel so sick all the way home. I had Mini O and MIL with me and had to drive very quickly whilst heaving. I only just made it to the bathroom and proceeded to stay there for most of the day - bleurgh... I'm not looking forward to Christmas dinner - I just can't see it staying down and I'll be at FIL's so will need to learn to be sick quietly! I'm 12 weeks now so was hoping this might have passed, but it seems not.

Oh Pol

I know you didn't really want to go overdue, but didn't you say Boo was 2 weeks late?

Hello everyone! Can I ask is it normal to feel depressed and tearful at 34 weeks? I feel like shit for the last few days and it's getting worse.. I am not sleeping well and am limited in getting around, but apart from that there's nothing bothering me, yet I feel really down in the dumps, lethargic, and crying at the drop of a hat..I just want the world to go away, but I've got lots of social stuf I have been really looking forward to, sorry to moan folks, but AM I NORMAL, or a looney?

Poor Cho. I assume this is normal. To me it seems that all bets are off during diffment & everything we'd normally think of as bonkers suddenly becomes the norm. However I'm a mere 17 weeks, so I'm sure someone with more experience will be along soon.

cho I think lozzer must speak troof, although I too am only at 17 weeks. Just seems like everything is turned on its head when diffed so there is no such thing as normal. It can't all be plain sailing, blissful belly rubs for the whole 40 weeks, can it? I imagine things are bound to get you down now and then and for no apparent reason so don't feel bad about feeling bad. Just try and focus on the good stuff that's coming up and hopefully that will cheer you up.

pollypocket Thats really shite news about HB (and sainos delivery!) hope baby hangs on or we have a big thaw very soon. But think gin is right so focus on the ultimate goal rather than the journey if you can.

Loving the crowd control tactics bitey genius. Might try that later if I run into to queues in the super marche. :o

oh btw at scores sexdream. That is all.

I think I had a period like that Cho around the early 30's. I reckon it is probably normal wherever it happens in your pregnancy! Not getting much sleep always makes things harder - I do not cope without a full 7 or 8 hrs.

Fanks for support all. Have stopped whinging and I am mentally coming to terms with hossie birth - thank god I changed hospitals a month or so back - will not be giving birth in same place as last time as it was not a good experience. I have already started thinking about what I need to do re: hossie bag/birthing box and trying to keep calm and keep blood pressure down so I can still have water birth. Think I might have a sleep first though.

And of course, if this baybee is as late as Boo (12 days), well that will take me just in January so homebirth may an option again by then.

Wonder if Mas has laid yet!

For a loon you sound pretty normal Cho . Make sure you're taking some time-out every now and then....'tis all too easy to keep going at the normal pace, esp. with the social whirl that goes on at this time of year, when what you need to do is start winding down and taking it a little bit more easy.

Here, put your feet up and have some of these cherry liqueurs [licks lips].

3 1/2 working days 'til mat leave - am ready to stop now and looking forward to a few weeks of loafing around watching crap on TV.

I have 8 weeks in total, suppose that's not too bad really.

Cho, sorry to hear you are feeling down - I am sure it is perfectly normal, but when do you next see your MW, you could chat it through with her?

I have 5 weeks when we go back after Christmas. But only 20 days as I am dropping to a 4 day week. Sweeeet.

God I'm bored. BORED. The work I have to do today and tomorrow is BORING.

Please can I haz some luffs? I fell flat on my back on the ice about 20 mins Was with TYF who was there to stop me slipping but it happened so quick that he could only mitigate how hard I fell, as opposed to stop it. In a lot of pain, worrying rumblings also occurring. Rang Dr and she said baybee should be fine as is still relatively small and well-cushioned but to gusset-check for the next 24 hours. I've never been so pleased I have a massive arse and muffin top - lower back took the brunt of it. Shall draw a veil over my undignified screeching and sobbing and writhing about trying to get back up. Can't stop crying. Ironically, was on way back from getting flu jab. Please send my baybee all your most powerful velcro vibes.

Cho, does sound pretty normal and Xmas always brings out people's emotions too.

Oh poor Scorps, have a big hug. Baby will be fine. It's still low down and all cushioned and protected. Much more than than you are. I fell arse over tit at one point as well and it does shake you up a lot. You will be sore and shakey. The baby will probably be completely oblivious. It might give you a kick just to tell you not to do that again.

Aw Scorps that is horrible. Sending you lots of luffs and gentle squeezes.

Polly I wanted a HB and they wouldn't let me so I took my house to hospital with me.

Took a nice throw for the room, some little trinkets which we put on the windowsill, loads of clary sage massage rub stuff, my own birthing ball (which I didn't sit on once, MrBoo was really pleased he took carried that one in :o), my istation with ipod and Scrabble (I was induced - was so glad we took that because we sat in the induction room for hours with them all being too busy to start anything with me!)... along with all the usual kit.

I hope so much you get your HB, but that if you do end up in hospital you have a positive experience.

I agree with Muse, Scorps. Baybee is very well protected and will be fine - you've just given yourself a nasty scare. Now be honest - was it those stiletto heels you've been favouring? Hugs though, I know it's scary.

Cho it sounds like hormones to me. Can't unpick what I was like at same stage as had just lost my Dad at 32 weeks so was crying all time anyway but it's normal to be up and down when pregnant. When do you go on Maternity - might help to have leave to look forward to?

Pol sorry to hear about your homebirth but realistically sounds like you may be going late and think the long range weather thinks it will be warming back up again for New Year. And you know they can't legally refuse to attend, right? You would be within your rights to call them out anyway and they would have to send someone - obv harder if roads completely impassable but looks like snow might ease for few days now anyway. Hugs, is last thing you need right now. Any more news on food delivery? Can you buy aby stuff direct from a farm so you're not left with nothing?

I kept MiniG home today. Arrived at nursery having battled the snow to find a sign up saying they have a case of Slapped Cheek disease at the nursery. Perhaps an overreaction but I turned straight back round and picked him back up - feels like not worth the risk since will hit Christmas really soon. Just hope he hasn't picked it up already. Will just have to take tomorrow as hols too then he can hang with MrG instead. Feeling extra protective of my little bean now I know he/she's ok in there and wriggling around.

I'm going to have to give up my job as the other Lady Gaga, aren't I, LGG? Sorry to hear you lost your dad hugs right back atcha.

Thanks for the reassurance, y'all. Had forgotten you also fell, poor Muse, so knowing you and Bob are fine is doubly reassuring. Am still feeling a bit scared but am much calmer now. Getting funny feelings which I think are baybee complaining about the roller-coaster ride. TYF is running me a bath with lots of my fave Philosophy bubble bath as we speak. I am going to be bloody achey for a while (tried to twist onto my elbow to break the fall, so that is agony), but at least it gives me an excuse to get him to do everything, buahaha!

GG not sure it was an over reaction... isn't there some danger to diffed women from slapped cheek syndrome? I was supposed to be visiting a friend in southampton a few months back and she put me off because her daughter had it and she thought it was dangerous if I got it. Can't remember why though, sorry.

We're going to try and get out tomorrow - I've made a Drs appt for 4pm to get blood and urine checked, that should keep midwives happy. Plus we will know by then if the shopping is not going to arrive, so we can nip to Waitrose and stock up on lots of lovely festive food if we need to.

I think I am now being paranoid. Someone plz to give me a slap? I woke up from my afternoon nap with an achey pain under my right shoulder blade. One of the many things the midwife asks every week is any abdominal/shoulder pain? She asks loads of questions in relation to pre-eclampsia (cos of blood pressure and protein in wee) but I never have any of the other symptoms. Now I am being paranoid I have PE as shoulder pain is one of the symptoms, when I have prolly just slept on it a bit funny.

Scorps ouch to fally-over-ness. Hope you're ok. This snow shiz is No Good for the pregnant.

And Pol, I hope you have a perfect, luffly birth, even if it ends up not being the homebirth you wanted. Am sure you could demand that a midwife comes out to you, but it might not be the most serene experience if you did. A mate of mine recently had super-speedy birth and the midwife was late getting to her and her husband had to catch the baby; everyone's fine, but it sounds a bit traumatic.

Cho I'm 31 weeks and NUTS. Almost demanded a divorce while on hols, now think TNB is the best thing ever. Am constantly anxious and reassuring self that it's hormones plus novelty of first-time motherhood. If you're really worried about yourself, might be worth talking to GP?

Pol I destroyed my shoulder for about a month by sleeping on it oddly - really achy and frozen. Does it feel like muscle/ligament pain?

Thanks guys, I think it's just pg menkul that's reaching a hormonal peak with me, so can't stop crying at the moment, especially if someone innocently asks me how I am.

I've had some bad nights sleep which can't help...it seems if I go out and do anything at all during the day or evening, even if it's only a twenty minute walk, then I am kept awake all night with sciatica and restless legs.

I have cancelled my plans this evening...in addition to the above My hands and ankles and face are swelling a bit, and I had a little protein in urine at mw visit, so I am keeping a watch for preeclampsia.

I suppose I just need to accept that I can't do so much at the moment. I have taken to my bed this pm, and decided after Xmas eve I am not leaving the house unless it's on fire! Moan over for now.

Scorps sorry about your fall, my bf slipped on her arse in the snow at 6 months and all was well...it's you that will suffer, not baybee!

Dromedary, sorry to hear about hols misery, but glad you can see it for what it is..I feel bad for crying over the boyf every fucking day, especially as he's got tons d to do himself before Xmas, and I am no help (eyes red cabbage that I have been threatening to braise every day for a week!)

Sorry about your dad GG...so sad

Think there is a risk of miscarriage if you get it and also some risk of fluid build up in the fetal tissues which doesn't sound good tbh. It's just it is a nursery and there is always something or other going round. But as it's nearly Christmas better safe than sorry I reckon.

Pol if you're worried at all, check with midwife. But at least you are getting checked over at Doc's tomorrow.

Thanks Cho and Scorps for Dad sympathy - was 2 and a half years ago now but still miss him like crazy.

Course you still miss him