The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Well done TG! You are making up for the dog piss incident!

After going to bed at 8:30 in an early pregnancy induced haze I now cannot sleep .

So have come on to see whether any progress in Mas' gusset? Or Pol's nips for that matter?

Is a bit Night Before Christmas sitting here in the dark with the Christmas tree.

Hope you nodded off in the end LGG.

Today's no news update is that there is no fucking news, except everything hurts and I feel like shite :(

aw, Mas, sympathies.

Hope things start happening soon mas.

I am currently attempting to escape London to go and see my sister. I may regret this move given the snow. But the trains northwards are apparently fine and she's only an hour from kings cross.

We also braved the blizzard to visit the carpet shop. Man comes to measure up on Tuesday and if price is right they can fit in the New Year. Is it weird to be so excited by carpet?

not at all, Muse.

Mothercare sale now on, online. Though annoyingly something advertised at a sale price isn't always reduced or available when you select a particular size.

Plans to escape London have failed. I am now going home.

Oh no muse, that's a bit shite. Better to be safe though than stuck on a frozen train. I would be excited by carpet too.

Sorry about the news lack mas, although with this weather it could be a good thing.

Only if it's sexual excitement, Muse

Mas, big snogs of sympathy. Must be rubbish to feel crap and be 'so near and yet so far'.

Medee, Mothercare are a bit shonky with price discrepancies - the jeans I got were advertised as £22 online and in their catalogue; went into store to try on before buying and they were marked as £32 but with a sale label on them saying they were now £22.

Well, I went to bed with a shocker of a headache and have woken up with an even worse one. I don't even know how I have the energy to type this. Am seriously doubting being able to go to the ILs between 26th- 31st if I'm this bad: ignoring the skank, it's a strange house, they're incredibly loud, we're expected to be on sparkling form for their 8 zillion relatives either at the ILs house or visiting them (you don't get a choice!) and I could slit my throat just thinking about the 5-6 hour drive with a headache and the winter sun in my eyes all the bloody way there and back. It'd break TYF's heart not to see his family at Xmas and despite my moaning, I do actually like them a lot too. Also, if he went on his own, that'd mean being stuck alone ill, when I do need his help when I'm this bad - and I might get snowed in too - and I'll miss him appallingly. Don't really want to be apart from him for our last Xmas before the baby comes. Arrrgh!

T'other day, Auntie Tactless cheerfully told me she had a severe headache with my 3rd cousin from wk 12 to the day after she gave birth to her, which has made me feel really happy - NOT (it's not hereditary as she's Mum's SIL). MW and Doc have both been suggesting an elective cs, as they're worried about my levels of constant pain and fatigue and me coping in labour, but am terrified of thought of some bugger slicing my belly open And my lap scars have gone horribly tight and keloid, so that factor worries me too.

(Sorry to be a bit moany. You may beat me senseless if you all wish, so long as you avoid my head!)

PS Sorry your journey has been such a fuck-up, Muse

Thats a bit of a shite situation, can't you go for a bit less time? Sounds like you could cope with it for a couple of days. Maybe you could use headache to retire early from painful relatives and just hide whenever you can?

mas sorry there's still nothing doing and you are feeling shite, just go to bed and get waited on by MrMas.

muse hope you made it home safe. Not sure escaping london is something you want to attempt at the mo. At least you have all the amenities you need at your finger tips.

lady I was up at 4.30 too but managed to get back to sleep after about an hour. We watched Prince of Persia last night and my head was full of Jake and Gemma

We've had nearly a foot today. Its quite exciting! Hope they clear the roads by tomorrow so we don't have to abandon Sunday dinner south of the pool plans. TB has been a brick and cleared not only our drive but our neighbours too. This is in leu of him going for the 10 k run he couldn't do Slightly nervous our epic Xmas tour of the W mids and SW is in jeopardy but surely things will be back to normal by Thursday.

I'd say still try and go
b Scorps,
but don't go for 5 days - that's too long anywhere.

Sorry to hear that
b Muse.

In other news, MrM has returned from town with more M+S mint chocolate fondants for me, woo-hoo!

gah, formatting fail.

but mint chocolate win, so you are forgiven :o

I have mulled cider and My Fair Lady on dvd. My Saturday evening is ready to start.

Mulled cider is from M&S btw, really quite nice and 3.9% alcohol, so a big mug is perfectly within the 1-2 units limit.

I don't think I will be able to watch the OBEM Christmas special - the trailer alone has reduced me to tears.

Me want mulled cider!! And I'd quite like a certain small person to go to bed so I can watch Strictly. I presented her with her new snowsuit today - I went for the camo green so future sib can wear it too. She cried and said she couldn't possibly co-operate (put it on) as it wasn't pink and silver.

Meds the trailer always did that to me too.

I think I might melt like an Indiana Jones nazi if I so much as see the trailer for OBEM!

I have HTFU and done a big Xmas cleaning and decluttering blitz with TYF and we've put up our tree and it looks camp as fuck gorg! I'm just getting to the stage where my belly is making me a bit unwieldy and it's quite amusing ( - for now. Am sure the novelty will wear off sharpish!).

Awww, we went a bit misty-eyed imagining next Xmas, holding our baby up to the tree and showing them the pretty and seeing their little face light up And then imagining them being old enough to understand what's going on and ripping into their pressies, etc.

Pol, you need to dig out some old pics of you in the heinous 70s fashions we all had to wear to show Boo and then her she should count herself lucky!

PS No chance of reducing duration of stay at ILs from 5 days - is already down from 7 and TYF has to do all the driving, so it makes no sense to spend less time than 5 days (and is unfair re: driving too). I'll just have to HTFU about that too.

Scorpes sounds like a lovely afternoon. Did you manage to insist on staying in the self-catering accom at MILs? At least then you could take yourself off for a bit of peace and quiet if you felt really bad.

I am 30 weeks tomorrow. It occurs to me I could have a baby in the next 7-10 weeks, and will have one by 12 weeks. That doesn't seem a very long time. I'm not sure I'm ready.

I'm not going to think about it. Instead, I shall focus on news from mas and poleposition.

30 weeks! How did that happen Muse? Nothing doing here... move along, move along. WeeWee has gone quiet though... maybe she is laying?

Can't believe you're so far along already, Muse. All semms a bit too real, huh? Why not have a baby ferret, like I told TYF I'm thinking of having (cute, cuddly and it'd just slink effortlessly out!).

Pol, MIL was very amenable to the idea of us having the self-catering let. It has a wide-screen plasma tv and space-age power shower, so am v pleased. TYF still prevaricating about sending email nicely asking for improvements on the skank, but I'm going to bite the bullet and send her an email myself, saying my MW has told me I must reiterate to everyone that they have to have tip-top hygiene around differds...