The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

All our amazon stuff got here on time, no problem. [smug]

Some other stuff got delayed and I'm still waiting for that, bu amazon=all present ('present'!!! HA!) and correct.

Am not sure whether it's just cos they are such a feckin huuuge company, and lots of other companies use their shopfront, that by any laws of probability a load of their stuff would have to be late given the time of year/weather combo...

I can top mrs fc's weird dream. I dreamt about a demon on a double-decker bus tricking some bloke into sticking a giant fish hook thru his own face.

Which was nice

Ps can someone make me a cup of tea?

I told MrM this morning that he would need to cut my toenails for me, as the last time I tried it was a real struggle.

God I do hope so - have wondered for the last few weeks how you know when it's definitely go - and everything pretty much says you really are in no doubt when it does happen. So since I'm not sure I guess I'm not, but it being imminent would be good...

and at me beating the amazon deliveries!

Where is our Pol this morning? She better not be queue jumping

she probably troughing pineapple while simultaneously scrubbing the floor in a desperate attempt to do just that

meds i have NO chance of getting TB anywhere near my feet so I am guessing I will have toenails like this scary lady by the time i lay. :o

Boak!

I'm not clocking on that link!

clicking even.

I'm here, don't panic Mas - no baybee laying going on here. I have decided to cross my legs until after the weekend as we are due quite a lot of snow today and tomorrow, and as much as I want my homebirth, I'd like the midwife to be able to get here. It was dicey enough getting Boo to preschool this morning and the snow is bucketing down now. Normally I would be doing a little snow dance and whittering on about a white christmas, but the thought of being in labour and snowed in is freaking me out a bit.

I agree with the others Mas, sounds like your body is gearing up for labour and bloody stuff is from your cervix as it stretches and softens, so all good I say. I second whoever it was who said get lots of rest now, while you can. Yay for BabyMas!

Afternoon
MrsFC When I was updiffed with thepinkfluffyone I dreamt about a cat coming out of the VCR slot. Not far off the real thing.

My mum and dad came to visit for 3 whole weeks when baby arrived (3 weeks early). They stayed in a B&B nearby and they were invaluable for the little things like making dinner and shopping and just letting me sleep for a few hours a day. I was totally ready for them to go after 3 weeks, but I don't think I could have done it without them. Don't know what'll happen this time round because I'm due at the hottest time of the year and they just won't be able to cope with 36°...

I love it when presents get delivered late - it's like prolonging Christmas.

Mas I felt like shit the evenng before I gave birth. Went to bed and woke up 2 hours later with waters and first (and major) contraction. Child arrived 3 hrs 20 mins later

Orc great news about scan!

Starting to feel a bit green but I'm sure stuffing my face with crap will sort that out nicely.

ok babypol get to the back of the que and stay there, baby mas get a move on :o

Oops, I think I may have had my present from TB stashed in my wardrobe for 2 weeks. I ordered two things off amazon for him and I thought they had been delivered on the same day in 2 separate identical packages. Needless to say I didn't check the addressee on both packages and just stashed them. I've just opened one to wrap it for him and BOTH his presents where in there, checked the label on the other one and its addressed to him

Thanks GOD I opened the right one or I would have blown the surprise and been in a lot of trouble. AIBU if I him it only got delivered today? :o

Rocky UANBU. Lying about things like these is the secret to a happy relationship

Thought this might be of interest, instructions for family once baby laying has happened: www.glorialemay.com/blog/?p=34

Like it muser but will never ever reveal my knicker size to anyone!

Love that list Muse, I am going to post it on facecrack. Right, I'm off to make the christmas cake again before I fall asleep. I know I started it last week, but I only got as far as soaking the fruit in the booze before needing a little lie down. Should be well infused by now!

I reckon Massive Attack is defo going to beat my packages to the finishing line. Ordered summat from Firebox for TYF to be sent 1st class 10 days ago and there's no sight of the bleddy thing (or summat else ordered from... I can't remember right now). Still, his prez from work arrived, so he's happy. Incidentally, he could've had an iPad or a netbook and the twunt chose a netbook! PAH! And indeed GAH! Also, he has ordered all of my Xmas pressies online and not one has turned up yet The Mama Mio Tummy Butter I asked for better arrive in time - I need that fucker like oxygen (tum already getting stretchmarked, grrr)!

I have forgotten, for the 856th time running, to buy my Gran her Xmas card I get her one with a verse and a robin on the front every year, as she is obsessed with robins (hopefully also with 'Grandma' on the front, though not Nan) and I've written it on my list every bastard time I've gone anywhere since the start of November and I have a mental block about it, FFS.

I realise the above is possibly the dullest thing I've ever written and I do apologise

Muse, love that list, v helpful. Bitey, I would only tell my post-birth knicker size to my Dad to get me some, as he wouldn't have the faintest clue what was big and what was small (he's built like a brick shithouse, so everyone is petite next to him).

Polly, why don't you ask your lovely SIL for some help after the birth? She's so eager to please and you love her so much...

Rocket, that package defo arrived today, ahem, and he can't prove otherwise!

milo, glad it's not me thinking about cats coming from odd places then...

I agree with gin, mas, feeling rotten could definitely be a sign of things kicking off...

And muse, love that list too! (But I'm with you bitey, my knicker size stays private! Also, I don't want anyone folding up my laundry with all the size labels out for all to see! (God, this thread has really highlighted my control issues! And if you saw my house you'd wonder what my problem is - it's not even organised or tidy!)

I had a wake up call today. I was walking to get the boy child & bumped into who I thought was a lovely lady collecting her GC's. We were having a nice chat and she said she had two boys. I asked if they were both still living at home. She replied 'yes, they are only 7 and 14'. Mortified.....
I apologised for my rudeness & carried on chattering though, whilst looking at her - honestly, she DID look in her late 50s, at least.
When I am taking this baby to school I will be Forty Fucking Seven. That is old. Some young girl will probably ask me the same question. I need to save up and start using Creme de Mer.

muse I have book marked that page for postage to facebook closer to the time :o

I fessed up. I just can not lie to him. I knew he'd see the funny side of it anyway. I am just really glad that I didn't wit til xmas eve to do the wrapping! Anyway he was mock angry for about a minute and then just used it as an excuse to extort sexual favours out of me :o No complaints here.

mrsfc 47 is not THAT old and you don't look your age now so probably won't then. I had a bit of wake up call when I realised I will be 60 by the time this child finishes Uni (IF we can afford to send it) No early retirement for me :(

You still get sexual favours rocket? I am . The FC is just not interested these days...!

What's the men being interested got to do with anything? It didn't matter when TTC, after all...

MsFC that is ver funny.

Now, before I kill my baybee, can anyone give me a good reason why I can't take Lemsip.....anyone???? Have had this stinking cold all week and just can't shake it - is important Xmas party tomorrow (NCT friends) which I cannot miss

Fanks xx

I think lemsip is fine clucky, it's just ibuprofen you have to avoid when BFing.

I wish I was going to a Christmas party - have fun!!

I've been told I can take paracetamol for my gall stones so should be fine. The only thing I'd watch is if it is one of those super ones with decongestant ie psuedoephedrine in. I have a bad reaction to those, give me palpitations!!! But that might just be me.

Hope you feel better for the party.

Good-o...am knocking back the lovely potion as I type

Mas - hope you're resting ready for the big event....could kick-off at any minute

Am feeling of christmas parties, I've not been invited to any. Have a good night Clucky! I will be spending this evening reclining like some beached whale on the sofa, stuffing my face with pineapple. I have decided the weather forecasts are not reliable and change every bloody half an hour, so I will continue with the tweaking/bouncing/clary sage etc.

I have been invited to a friend's 40th on Sunday, which I may or may not attend, depending on snow and exactly how big a blimp I am channelling. It would of course mean missing out on my afternoon nap which does put a spanner in the works!

Had a lovely long sleep this avo after Boo's party. Woke up at 6pm to find TG had cooked a roast dinner. Hoorah! And my christmas cake is done and looking good.