The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Love the wall stickers, Muse, great choice :) As we rent, have been thinking about some nice wall stickers myself.

Pol, I take a dim view of men who use 'I dunno how!' as an excuse not to do housework - how do they think women know how to do those things? By learning how to, of course! If bleach wasn't, of course, off-limits to a kid, a small child could learn how to squirt it on some skidmarks! GRRRRRR.

Am going to chat to Needles about the pain, cheers.

I am a happy, happy girl today. For weeks I've had a face on as so-called friends have said I shouldn't eat deep fried camembert - one of my fave all time Christmas treats.

Last night I was looking through my what you can / can't eat during diffment book, which is usually the book of doom but hallelujah! it says I can eat deep fried camembert! Am off to buy my own body weight of the stuff.

Thank Jeebus work Christmas Party is over for another year. Meal was nice, but it decended into the usual drunken mess (not for me, obviously) where one female member of staff ended up crying as one of the guys told her she needed to lose weight, & 2 of the other guys - who have actually left the company ironically had a work related argument which resulted in a "Fuck you" "Go Fuck Yourself" conversation. Tis the season to be jolly . At that point I went home for a cup of tea & some vampire perving to watch an episode of True Blood.

polly sounds like a good plan, put your feet up and worry about the tumble weed later. You are right, the baby will not care.

@ loulous xmas party tales. Being sober certainly puts a different spin on it all. Good news re the camembert. Get it down yer.

Nice stickers muse I think TB wants these

score is a bit of a long story with the rentals. Dad still depressed and can't see any light at end of tunnel, mum treating him like an irritating retarded child, which I don't think helps AT ALL. Prob best not to go into it here but thanks for your concern. x

gin are you going back for more crunching for the ribs? This does not sound like something you should just have to put up with :(

Oh I think those are quite cool rocket, but I am a bit of a geek. Your parental stuff sounds tough, just what you don't need right now. You should have asked about Camembert! All the bad cheese is allowed when cooked through!

Scorps hope you feel a bit better today. Every day is one closer to baby arriving. And it can't be long until your 20 week scan now!

Also Polly, do not worry about housework. It'll keep. I am fuming a bit at uselessness of men for you though. I don't know how is the response of an 11 year old. Make him watch an episode of How Clean Is Your House, he'll learn all about the magic powers of vinegar.

i quite like them too muse just think its funny he is trying to indoctrinate the poor begger with gaming before it can even lift a pad :o

Mmm, yeah also at male 'uselessness' on your behalf pol I must admit I rocked that "i don't know how" excuse quite a bit in my early teenage years, to the point my mum was a bit worried I'd starve to death when I went to uni. It was totally cultivated to ensure I got out of chores so I suspect TG is the same. We are trying to encourage dad to learn to cook, so he could be a bit more independent. But I realise it's hard for him to drum up enthusiasm for anything in his state of mind and worry if he cocked something up, he would take it to heart.

I'm sorry I haven't mentioned anyone's ailments, I went into a camembert excitement.

Scorps I hope your headache cleared enough for you & TYF to celebrate your anniversary.

Gin sorry the ribs are still playing up. Keep at it with the chiro - I think they are pure Gods.

Poll The housework can wait. Although it shouldn't have to if Mr Pol got his arse in gear. Tell him Father Christmas knows all the naughty boys....

Rocket sorry for the issue with the parents.

And everyone else & big poke in the eye.

Thanks for the good news about the cheese laurie you may have saved Christmas in my house!

I made a roast chicken diner yesterday, sat down to eat it and threw up on first bite of chicken and then this morning I thought I could still smell it in the kitchen and puked again. I hope this isn't the end of me and chicken, or even worse the end of me and roast dinners!

scorps FDH keeps asking me when I am going to commence nesting and looking hopefully at the bomb-site that is our house. I suspect an ulterior motive on his enthusiasm for my diffment too (it isn't going to work, I am beside myself with tiredness and am certainly not wasting energy on the hoover that could be spent watching telly and eating quality street).

It was not a wafer theen meent, it was a big fat chocolate fondant mint, more of which I think I shall buy at M+s this lunchtime.

That wall sticker is great, Muse.

Lozza, I totally understand your cheese mania! I love me some cheese. I've been eating cooked squidgy goat's cheeses to no detriment all the way through, so I say get stuck in! You can get pasteurised camembert too - I always choose pasteurised g's cheese.

Rocky, hope it wasn't intrusive to ask about your folks. My Dad lost his job when I was 15 and got v depressed and my 'rentals got into the exact same dynamic. It went on for a good couple of years and I remember how frustrating, stressful and upsetting it can be. Hope he can find something that helps him onto a better track soon

And I too used to pull the 'I dunno how' card as a teen, but of course I did really. The most insulting aspect of people claiming not to know how to do housework is that each individual task is actually v easy. Boring, sometimes a bit gross, but easy.

As I've said, TYF has been doing virtually all the housework cos I've felt so consistently vile. It's not always done the way I'd do it/like it, but I don't let that bother me. However, he is now motivating/bribing me by saying we can't put the tree up until the living room is tidier and decluttered*, so I need to de-Trebus the place. Meh.

BTW, love those stickers! TYF thinks that posters of obscure 60's Uruguayan garage bands are the perfect decor for a baby's room (I'm serious; is not for comic effect).

Bitey, so sorry about the chicken dinner. I've developed an irrational phobia about noodles after trying some during a particularly overwhelming phase of everything making me want to hurl Hopefully, you'll be able to enjoy a lovely roast dinner again soon enough.

Muse, fanks :) Have changed my pillows which have helped with the headaches a bit and pelvis not too bad today, so hurrah. 20-wk scan on 4th Jan, so v excited about that. Could've had it on 30th Dec, if we weren't going to the ILs, grrr.

Medee - fondant mints are my bloody favourite Please think of me when you gorge yourself on one later

Yeah, right - 'one'!

*I must point out that the Xmas tree could easily go up - it's not that the room is so hideous that there's no space or anything!

Benedicks Bittermints are where it's at. I must be some of those. And a big stash to take to in-laws for Christmas. Mmmmm.

I am officially bringing my leaving date at work forward. I will now go at 3 weeks before due date, rather than 2. And will take whatever leave I have before that, if HR ever manage to tell me how much leave I have.

That means I'll have a massive 5 weeks at work when I come back in the New Year. Woot!

Am liking your style, Muse. Can't believe you're getting nearer and nearer the top of the list now, eeek! :)

PS I admire how you love bittermints so much that you actually want to become one

I haven't tried those muser but they sound delicious - where can I buy some? I have wandered around work looking for something for lunch thinking I would never find something that didn't make sick and then stumbled into the bakery. One cornish pasty and a hot chocolate cookie later and I am feeling much happier!

Am about five weeks in work next year too, you must be soo excited!

I long ago lost the ability to type the right word Scorps. I'd blame the baby, but actually it's just me being dumb.

Bitey Bittermints can be found in most decent supermarkets. They are delicious. Properly minty and thick very dark chocolate which stops them being sickly sweet.

Can anyone remember Peppermint Patties? They were the apex of confectionery, as far as I'm concerned...

I have bought the wall stickers. More clearing, a new coat of paint, new carpet, an Ikea shopping spree, and a nice rug, and we'll have ourselves a room. God I'm loving this nesting lark.

Ah well done muse! I am channeling nesting instinct into fancy xmas wrapping, I found out there was a hobby craft on the way to work so i took a detour (after triple test and lunch time so noone the wiser) and have bought lots of sparkle card, a snow flake punch and some fancy ribbon. So there.

score no you weren't being intrusive, I just don't want to bore everyone with it. Rant alert skip to * if you cant be arsed. And I think IABU a bit re my mum as I think she is being quite nasty to my dad, although I can sort of see why. There's loads of back history (inc, previous nervous break down of my dads when I was 14, parallel life?) marriage counseling more recently and apparently a decision to stay together for financial reasons. Thing is my dad still worships her and I help thinking living with someone he knows doesn't love him can't be completely disconnected to his depression. So I find it hard not to quote 'in sickness and in health' at her when she is bitching about how it is affecting her (no social life, no trip to Barbados this year etc) Urgh, now you have made me bore everyone with it, and also paint my mum in a pretty nasty light when really she is not a bad person!! Poor mum, its just how my mind works a bit after visiting with them :(

*
Mint chocolate is one of those things i think i don't like and is actually quite pleasant when I bother with it (bit like baked beans) I'd rather have a caramel chocolate tho.

TBG has just asked me if I'd mind measuring the flat for new carpets, as he's out all week. I have pointed out that they will send someone to do that for us and give us a quote. He says he knows, but it would give us an idea of cost.

At which point I had to remind him about the whole vastly pregnant thing. How can he think I'm going to crawl around the floor with a measuring tape? Weird.

Relationship stuff is a nightmare rocket, especially when it's your parents. Are they getting any sort of counselling? Sorry, that's probably really nosey. But it sounds like they could do with some kind of help.

Soz. As you were.

Leafy - Is so horrible to witness one's parents not getting on, and when you're an adult too, you can see how both are adding to the problem but not necessarily how it could be sorted. My folks get on v well, but Mum constantly snaps at my Dad because he is very annoying and fussy as he has mild Asperger's, but she won't tell him she's snapping because of his constant quadruple-checking of things because she doesn't want to make him feel guilty about being fussy, arrrrgh! So I have to nicely tell him to not keep asking fussy questions of Mum and then nicely point out to her that losing her temper at him makes him more anxious and fussier. Luckily, his Asperger's makes him so logical that he freely admits that he is annoying and deserves a bit of being snapped at!

Now, that is waaay more trivial than what your folks are dealing with, but my Mum snaps at him about minor stuff and sometimes says bitchy things that make her sound really 'princessy' which she isn't and she doesn't mean it. I think it's just down to how people of that age were brought up to think about stuff and communicate. Also, it's probably easier for your Mum to moan about non-important things like posh holidays than tackle the real issues, which everyone alive is guilty of doing, so she doesn't sound horrible, just normal and frustrated. If he feels more strongly about her than she does him, it also probably makes her feel guilty and also under pressure to reciprocate. Both of them sound like they're suffering in their own ways, poor things. I hope your babybee might give them something positive to focus on (although of course, it shouldn't be a cure-all).

(Hope my thoughts aren't annoying, just wanna show I empathise)

In cheese news, Lozza, I was just in Tesco and they have proper posh big French Camembert in its own basket perfect for baking - pasteurised too - on offer. Presumably every larger store will be the same, so might be worth checking out. :)

Thanks for the cheese tip off Scorps. I know of someone who called their daughter Brie - is this wrong

Mmm, Brie...

Hello shlaaaags, and a gentle headbutt to those in pain.

No baybee here. Still getting occasional cramps & stuff, but nowt more than that. No show, no mucus plug. Went to midwife today - she has been telling me since 32 weeks that it is well-engaged - but today had a bit of a think and decided to send me off for a scan to make sure it isn't breech! Co-incidentally I was talking to someone at a party on Saturday who went 8 days overdue & then was in labour for 10 hours before they realised her baby was breech. Nice. So am glad they decided to check, but I had the scan & all was OK. They've also booked me in for my term + 10 appointment - and since it's nearly Christmas offered to book me in for and induction on 21st as well . Declined for now, as don't really want to go down that road, but I might well end up there anyway and booking it now would at least mean it would be done by Christmas... Ah well, while I can put off deciding I will - and it could still turn up any time now....

Come on BabyMas, come out and meet us! Are you obsessively checking your gusset for signs Mas? I am. And then I inspect the contents of the toilet bowl after I've been too, just in case the baybee plug fell out and I didn't notice. I don't know about you Mas but I just want this over and done with now. Unfortunately, no signs that labour is imminent and I bet I will be bloody late, just like with Boo. I want to spend christmas curled up on the sofa with new baby and people waiting on me and feeding me choclit and champagne.

My nesting instinct has disappeared - today I managed a two and half hour snooze while Boo was at preschool. I'd only been up 3 hours FFS. Kitchen still not sorted. Which is a slight problem as this is the room I am planning to put the pool up in, so really do need to declutter. Maybe tomorrow....