The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

I need to get some nesting happening, too much stuff needing cleared too. We did have a flurry in the shed in autumn, but that hasn't really helped the indoors.

I collected my big pillow from the sorting office yesterday, but didn't have a great night's sleep as hoped. Just couldn't find quite the right position. Also, as I sleep on the left of the bed, and on my left, it was in my way for toilet access during the night. Plus MrM seemed to want to sleep in the middle last night, so I ended up wedged between him and the pillow. And finally, I was too hot.

Oh dear, that was a bit of a moan!

Maybe I should go do stuff rather than fart about on here.

MrM read from the Guardian today that new mums spend on average 90 minutes a day on the internet - I suggested that was mainly them posting "help, Help!, HELP!"

Swap sides. Then the pillow becomes a barrier between you and MrM. This is what I do.

Nothing wrong with farting about on the internet. The nesting instinct may come to you naturally, why force it?

Oh muse, I'm loving your life laundry - good work! An extra shelf in the room will defnitely make sense, you can put pretty baby things on it. Or ugly baby things like nappies! When I wanted the FC to clear out his books I cleared out lots of mine and showed him, so he felt I was doing my bit.

meds, I'm sorry about the sleeping, it really is a downer isn't it. I'm so TOTALLY over waking up & not feeling refreshed. The FC and I haven't shared a bed in about 6 months due to my constant fidgeting and wee trips. A duvet under the bottom sheet has helped a little bit - you could try that maybe?

My house is a mess. I need to do stuff too, and get off here. The thing is that while doing stuff seems actually too much like hard work for my aching body, i DOES actually help - I think it warms all my muscles p again, and it certainly helps my state of mind. It's getting started that is the problem!

Good Grief, I sound more & more like my mother every day.

Ooh I'm having a nesting day today too. I have sent TG and Boo to MILs and they won't be back until around 6 or 7pm, huzzah! I have an almost uncontrollable desire to empty and clean the cutlery drawer. WTF is that all about? Of the many many things that need doing that should be way down on my priority list. Still, I have done the lounge, now I'm going to have a rest, and then I can get on with kitchen.

I also had a rubbish nights sleep. I am full of cold and what with that, wee breaks and heartburn, plus bizarre dreams about baybees, I haven't had much sleep for the last two nights. It really is some cruel twist of fate isn't it - the more pregnant you get, the more rest you need to prepare for what is to come, but you actually get less rest. Who designed that FGS?!

the same gods who decided that just when you need the most nutrition, you would start vomiting up everything you eat.

Fuck nesting I say :)

Well tbh my take on the whole thing is usually a desperate urge to buy some new scented candles...

Which is just as well as mr gin and my dad are in the process of rebuilding our crumbling ruin of a house around us, so if I was all nesty right now I think I would be in MAJOR meltdown...

In other news my mum and dad are ace. Thanks be to jeebus.

In other other news mooch managed to shut himself in the bathroom yesterday, then the door handle fell off and while trying to get it back on the poor wee boy managed to lock himself in...he was stuck already as there was no handle, but that extra lock made smashing the door in even harder...

It was fucking horrible, he was so scared. Especially while dad was smashing the lock in. Poor little man.

poor mooch!

Glad you have your folks there though.

Oh, how scary for both of you. Glad it had a happy ending x

Oh poor little Mooch - how scary. Funnily enough I tried to tell Boo yesterday about how it is bad to play with the locks on the bathroom doors. Especially the downstairs one where there is no window. She just looked at me as if she didn't believe a word I said and continued fiddling with the lock (luckily while I was in the bathroom with her). Madam.

Gin why is your house a crumbling ruin? Have you moved into the new one? So glad the 'rents arrived and are being ace.

Well... I nested for about 2 hours. Then slept for 3. . Still haven't done the kitchen but did fanny around for a bit moving shit from one place to another. Ah well. Guess I'm not very good at nesting.

And how are the ribs Gin? Is the chiro helping? Hope so.

Mooch wasn't even playing with the lock, bastard door handle fell off! It was only while he was frenziedly trying to fix that he managed to lock the door. Was fine in the end but I don't recommend it as a way to pass time on a Saturday evening.

pol the house is a crumbling ruin because the bastards that did the conversion were, well, bastards. It's all held together with double-sided sticky tape and jam. Nope we haven't moved yet, about to complete then have to get a load of work done on the new place. Is likely we'll be moving house shortly before or shortly after the baby comes. We like a bit of chaos round here it seems. :)

Glad you did more sleeping than nesting, you were freaking me out there

Rib wise it's all still fucked. Well I can almost cope if I lie very still pretty much all the time...which is not exactly practical. So doing the best I can really and hoping someone can actually do something to make it better at some point. Have just found out am allowed codeine so may have to talk to doc, paracetamol does FA.

In glorious wonderful dance my fat crippled arse around the room news, mr gin is cooking lasagne. And he cooks the best lasagne in The World. Yay!!!!

Mum n dad both felt da baybee last night and got all squishy brained and excited.

And you lot talking bout cots n sleep suits n things has made me think... I'm pretty much 29 weeks and it has not yet crossed my mind to do anything re sorting out baybee stuff. Perhaps I should...maybe....soon...ish :)

Oh oh oh AND I cleaned a layer of plaster dust off a sink. Check out my rad nesting skillz

Poor wee mooch, Eeep! that must have been really scary for all concerned, esp him. Glad it ended well. YEY for ace folks and lasagna gin

I am having nesting urges, I sit here and think about all the things that need to be done, I imagine multitudes of plastic storage crates, labelled up, 'roof' 'carboot' 'tip' etc. I don't actually want to make any of this happen myself you understand, I would like to have a completely managerial role in proceedings. :o Fat chance of that so it is all going on the back burner til the hunemployed new year.

Had a lovely weekend, with my girls back home yesterday and all their lovely kids and then today with my extended family at Nanas 'internment' (tipping her ashes into a hole in the ground while my small cousinephew blew raspberries at the vicar and I suppressed a nervous laugh) It was lovely to see my sis and her family and even lovelier to see my nieces doting on my 3 month old cousiniece and imagine how they are going to be with their 1st cousin. Mum and Dad were a bit of a trial but I am getting used to that.

God poops am so rude! how is the spd luvver? Sorry you are a ball of snot [sympatheticface]

I have the same "urge" rocket, enough to want to do, just not enough to actually do it. baby has been very quiet today, think I might need to eat something and poke it a bit.

I should add, eat something else, I've eaten a roast chicken dinner (2 helpings) plus tiramisu.

Poor mooch gin, that would scare me and I'm a grown woman. Your rib ailments also sound horrid. Have this vat of mulled wine and some mince pies.

Medee have a bit of sugar and lay down. Make that baby dance!

I have spent the day at friend's house for dinner. Was very nice. I was absolutely stuffed but now on the train home think I could handle a little supper. Homeward to toast!

God, can't believe it's work again tomorrow. I have had enough.

I ate a turkey dinner and profiteroles with minimal repercussions (althouh did remove most if the cream). Very chuffed as this bodes well for Xmas day :) perhaps this could be new business venture once sprout is older.. I can go round fulfilling the wishes of lazy nesting differs, life laundry their houses and decorate nurseries etc. "Nesting Inc. You rest while we nest."

a chocolate mint seemed to do the trick.

Rocket, I'll be your first client (mates rate, yeah?)! I suspect that TYF only got me pg in the hope that I might get the nesting thang and finally give a shit about tidying up

How little he knows me!

I keep thinking of all the things that need doing and need to be bought and I can't face it. Am therefore putting everything off until a) we've moved in the new year (haven't even started looking yet) and b) I'm past the magical 24 weeks mark.

Then I'll find some other reason to not bother

Am glad you could handle the yummy stuff, offyourRocker :) PS Why are your folks being a trial, if that's not too nosy? [nosy]

And am doubly glad that Mooch was eventually rescued, gin. And that your 'rents have made you much happier - you seem a lot brighter than the other day, hurrah

I am getting the most horrendous pains in my lower back and pelvis. Today, I've not been able to lean forward when sat down, get out of chairs/the car without help and have had probs walking without pain 'n' zexy waddling. Am really hoping that when I see her on Tues, the MW will tell me it's just normal stuff for this stage...

Big snogs to nesty, ouchy ole Polly and fanks for the Xmas card - is actually the first one we've received

Also meant to ask Medee if it was a waffer-thin meeent?

I have been checking out wall stickers, in a further bid to counter the bookishness of the study/baby's room. I am rather taken with this tree sticker. Seems a nice way of cheering up the room.

Sorry to hear bout the back and pelvis pain Scorps. Are you still going t'needles? She might be able to help.

Sorry to hear the ribs no better Gin. Sounds very unpleasant. Can you not talk your parents into staying until the baby is born? Or at least until the new year? Fink I am over the worse of cold now, ta. SPD is alright. The crutches come in handy for going out but tbh even with them I can't stand up or walk for that long, so is just easier to stay home mostly and get shopping delivered. I am quite good at being lazy too, which helps. Mostly it means I get to lie down a lot. I have given up stressing about what is not getting done. After all, baybee isn't going to care about dust and tumbleweed dog hair is it? My cleaner mum couldn't come down last week and can't do this one either, so I just have to put up with it, or do it myself. We'll see if I can be arsed. No point asking TG, he is rubbish - I asked him to clean a bathroom and he said 'but I don't know how'. FFS! Mind you, I shouldn't be surprised - he can't seem to grasp the theory that if you put a bit of bleach down the toilet, it will get rid of your big skidmarks instead of leaving them to gross out your wife and child.

Mmmm... mince pies and a little tipple of port. I am feeling all christmassy!

Glad you managed to stomach the food Rcoket.

Am wanting tiramisu now...

Liking the tree stickers Muse, they are lovely.