The PESH in a manger

[LadyGoneGaga]

No booze for our heads,
No clubbing, no Class A's,
No more pants of red

The midwives in the hossie,
Looked down where we lay,
A bunch of old, evil hags,
Fucked on Gas and A.

Ho, ho, ho you bunch of Hoes.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.
Silversky, boy, born Nov 1
SomethingSuitablyWitty, girl born Nov 2
okiecokie, girl, born Nov 12
Honeymoo, boy, born Nov 11
ReginaMonologue, boy, born Nov 13

UPDIFFED

maswera, can't possibly be having a baybee next week, due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 Jan
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24
Muser, blooming at last, due February 27
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole, completely out of witty things to add, due April 8
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 18th May.
Laurielou, the unmarried hussy with the "surprise" diff, due 31 May (ish)
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 1 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.
LadyGoneGaga, Compulsive Stick pisser, due 28 July

Thanks for the advice Score. I have only just woken up. Feel better for a sleep. I've realised there is very little food in this flat because we are not grown up enough to actually keep a fridge stocked. And MrM is out tonight. Aargh. Must find protein to eat.

My New Year's Resolution is to stop living like a student and have more than flipping condiments in the fridge.

So glad you managed to do the test ok muse, well done!

Thanks, MrsFC. We haven't officially told MiniG but he's pretty smart and I wouldn't be surprised if he's picked up on things. He might also be a bit anxious because I lost the last one. Again, we hadn't told him but bless him, he was crying sbout the baby.

Glad you feel a bit better, Muse. Why not call out for a Meat Feast pizza ?

'lo all. Apols for absence, I have mainly been sleeping. A lot. Reckon I might as well get it in while I can!

Gin so pleased to hear your parents can make it after all, I hope they look after you and the chiro helps those ribs. Sounds v ouchy. Sorry to hear about additional work stresses though - not what you need at the moment. Have you moved house yet?

Mas are you getting pissed off yet with people ringing/emailing/texting daily asking if you've laid yet?

Muse I'm glad you made it through the horrible test - I hope you get good results which will hopefully make it all worth it. Are you feeling better now? Mmmm... meat feast pizza sounds good! Instead I am having leftover chilli, boring. Still it is quite hot and spicy so I'm hoping it will tempt out the Shrimp. Failing that, we'll have to do the secks. Two weeks until due date but I want this baybee out before xmas plz.

I had midwife visit yesterday. Bad news = BP gone up a bit. Good news = no protein in wee (thought that went hand in hand with raised BP ), head is well and truly engaged and baybee is in perfect position for laying. Just got to keep the damn BP down now. When the MW left she said 'see you next Weds, if not before'. Which made me nearly pee my pants!

Aw, LadyG, I want to give MiniG a big hug now, but I'm sure you've got that covered.

gin so glad your parents are going to get to you, you need the break.

Polly you iz having a baybeeee! Excellent stuff. Hope the BP improves.

I am currently watching some awful baby programme. Does every American woman give birth on her back with people pulling her legs back to her ears? I think my birth plan might just consist of "leave my damn legs alone". Very sweet apart from that and the doctor who did a constant "keep it coming keep it coming" through every push. I would have told her to STFU already. That'll be second line on my birth plan then. DON'T TALK TO ME.

Muse, it's that crappy 'pregnant at 16' (or whatever it's called), innit? I've heard that the Yanks are still pretty keen on the whole 'on yer back, legs up in stirrups' biz, which is about the worst posish, or so I've been told. I saw a good guide to birth positions recently, but one of them was kneeling down in front of your seated partner so you can hold onto his legs and rest your head on his lap. COME ON! What man would be able to resist the immortal phrase 'whilst you're own there...'?!

Glad you're feeling a bit better. Still going to bang onto you about getting protein down yer and not carbs or sugar. It's a horrible feeling, innit - I get v frustrated when people won't believe how blood sugar imbalances make you feel dog-rough. PS Mmmm... condiments.

Gin, am glad you're going to see your folks after all, huzzah (and stop beating yourself up over stuff, yeh dafty).

Poll, a delight to see you in here, milady Bugger to the raised BP, but yay for everything else. Am v glad you're getting lots of rest whilst you still can and that the baby is engaged and ready to rumble. Are you actually going to.. y'know... have a baybeeee?

I'm still clinging to my dream of you and Mas laying on the same day to produce our first ESH-twins

The best I could do for food was cheese & beans on toast. I feel a bit fluttery still, but not as bad as earlier. I knew the mars bar was a bad idea, but my body was saying "sugar, give me more sugar" because it is foolish.

I am currently a bit pissed off at TBG who has not called to check on me. I want him to bring me home some cheese.

TBG is not behaving as he should. I hope you set him straight.

evening all,

gin glad to hear your folks are making it after all.

muse sorry you're not feeling great. Phone him and demand he brings in cheese.

An American woman I was talking to recently started contractions on her due date, and the doctor told her to come in and they'd speed things up - ie induce her. I found that a bit puzzling, because surely if your body has started by itself, you aren't going to need any helo at that particular stage.

+help

TBG prolly doesn't realise how crap the test made you feel - but should still have checked up on you, Muse. Glad your meal helped - really try to keep away from sweet things tomorrow, if you can (not patronising, just know what helps). You're sweet enough as it is, ahem

Polly How are you feeling? I felt absolutely fine but in retrospect my face was v v puffy - but I thought that was just what happened when you're very pregnant. Is it possible you can get some protein-wee sticks from the chemist? I know I poo-poo most of this cautious stuff but PE can hit so hard and fast it really is (ime) not something to fuck around with.

Morning all!

Muse I'm glad the test was finally done but sorry you felt a bit wobbly afterwards.

Gin I love a happy ending! Glad your folks could visit afterall.

LadyG No advice at all, but you sound like you've got a reasonable relationship with ex. Hope thngs get resolved.

Polly Not long now........ the race is on between you, Mas & good ole Virgin Mary

Well, I barfed this morning. At 16 weeks that is only the 2nd time. But I'm rubbish at being sick & am feeling soooooo sorry for myself. To be fair I think it was more scampi related than diff related. And today we have our work Christmas lunch....

I barfed this morning too laurie. Yesterday just had a sweaty upper lip today, a full barf. Am only 7+1 so worried this is just the beginning. Three doorsteps slices of toast and marmalade and an advent calendar chocolate later and I am fully restored.

@ muser's birthplan. I don't even like my hairdresser to talk to me!

scorps Do you know my husband? I can't dip my head below waist height in the same room as him without him coming out with that gem! I have yet to a) laugh or b) say "oh what a good idea, I'll just finish tying my shoes" Oh god, feel sick again at the thought!

Sympathies on the barfing, it's horrid.

I have just had to push at my bump because there was a body part firmly stuck in my rib. It has now been moved. I've not had movement that's felt so obviously like a little person in there before. It was very weird. And rather lovely.

Morning. Muse I hope TBG got home early. With cheese. Are you feeling better today?

Sorry to hear of the barfing going on, yuk. I hate being sick too Laurie. I have managed to avoid any pregnancy related barfing (huzzah) and additionally, have not come down with Boo's sickness bug, yay me! Although I think I am now getting her cold, bah.

Pone I am generally feeling pretty good fanks, although bloody tired, but I think that is self-inflicted through food ishoes. By which I mean my inability to stay away from the the cake has caused a recurrence of the old problems. So much for a having a yeast/dairy/sugar free pregnancy. Two weeks to go and I've managed about 3 days. I've just asked TG if my face is puffy, he says no. Also keeping an eye out for swelling, headaches, flashy lights, abdominal pain etc. Midwife is visiting weekly and doesn't think PE is an issue as I don't have any other symptoms, and BP is still under their 100 limit, but is now 20 above my booking in appt (this used to be the cut-off for home birth/mw led unit) so there is a little cause for concern. Unfortunately with Boo, even though I had low BP all the way through the pregnancy, it did start to rise towards the end and culminated in flashy blue lights. I would imagine the longer this pregnancy continues, the more chance I have of BP rising, so the plan is to lay before xmas - I just hope baybee wishes to co-operate. Race ya Mas!

Right, I am off to make my xmas cake. Better late than never. I would give you all a roundhouse kick but I can't part my legs that much any more, fnar fnar, so have a poke in the eye and an arse grope.

Pol - I like the idea of you, me and the virgin mary having a race . Am getting the daily enquiries as to whether I've had it or not - but rather than it bugging me I am actually quite enjoying being tres popular!

Morning all,

Sorry to hear about the chunks lozzer and bitey I must admit i got off very lightly in this respect, was only sick once and that was sort of forced to try and make myself feel better after a burger. Did mean i didn't feel shite tho! Hope it's just a one off for you biteme (clutching at straws)

Sending polly calming blood pressure lowering thoughts on a scented cloud of lavender and camomile. Ah sod that have a slice of pineapple upside down cake and a nipple teak instead :o

muse thats well exciting! I still have mixed feeling about this sort of thing, makes me excited and feel a bit queasy, although I am getting more excited about feeling some fluttering in the next few weeks!

I have just 'planned' the nursery, (diagram and costing list and everyfink) I have realised this room is probably far too tiny and I am getting really confounded about what I actually NEED and what I don't. Changing table for instance. I sort of envisaged doing it on our bed but then if its a boy, I have heard too many stories of hose pipe type peeing. Which is worse, bed covered in wee or nursery covered in wee? Of course this all hangs on me clearing the 12 tons of crap already in here, which is currently looming over me like that furry monster in a bugs bunny cartoon. Lalalalla. If i wish hard enough it will all disappear in a puff of smoke, wont it?

I just got drawers like these only mine had drawer fronts on, added a changing mat and changed him on that. When he got wriggly we switched to the floor. Had enough room for all his clothes napies, bits and bobs too.

You can get a cot top changer too. But on the wee front if you keep a nappy handy you can cover their winky with it as soon as they start peeing. Dunno what you do with girls TBH

Under cot storage on wheels handy too to store linens and stuff.

Had to come home today as have a burst pipe . Fixed now so s'pose got to go back to work

You can get changing tray things for cots, or use the top of a chest of drawers, or the floor, or the bed. For little boys you could go insane and buy a willy wigwam. Or just throw a muslin over them.

TBG was back late last night but he was in a meeting so excusable. And he did feed me his chips. He hadn't quite realised exactly how awful I was feeling and apologised profusely.

Ok, is it just me or is this really quite scary?

No its not just you, but then I find about 95% of things design for children either frightening or vomit making. So TBG has redeemed himself thats good, the B does not = BAD :o

Strangely enough gaga that is exactly the chest i have picked. Great minds :) You can get it with an additional piece on the top that makes it a bit wider for changing.

then i am thinking [http://www.mothercare.com/Bedside-Cot-Beech-Finish-Save/dp/B000IYQ0XO/sr=1-1/qid=1291987612/ref=sr_1_1/279-3850008-2911108?_encoding=UTF8&m=A2LBKNDJ2KZUGQ&n=42764041&mcb=core this} cot. I much prefer the Cosato one but £50 is £50 innit.

ah bollocks, parenthesis fail. try again.

mothercare cot

I have to admit Muse MiniG has the croc mirror . He really liked it when we wandered round Ikea and it actually works in the context of his jungle/animal themed bedroom. I wouldn't get it for a baby room but works ok for a toddler.

We had a Mothercare cot Rocket - only thing is beech might clash with the drawers as they are more of an antique pine.

We have this one - cheaper too and still has the three positions and drop side.