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Original poster

dec '05- xmas babies! arent they great!!

721 replies

ei23mummy · 19/09/2005 16:13

hey girlies!!
new thread for a new week!!
with our heads held high and our bumps pushed out we can happily say sod 'em to all those grumps who think crimbo is a bad time for new babies!!
whaddya say??
yay to our xmas bubs!!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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dramaqueen72 · 30/09/2005 14:04

s/h I'm actually typing as we speak. I always write it better than I say it. which is also a worry! should of been an author rather than a wife I think!
nemo, you'll have to say something to her about the thomas day.you could start with 'we are actually thinking of putting it off because the weathers so crap and we 're so broke right now.' whihc can lead her to either accept that the day is prob off and stop her making further plans, or give her the chance to say, 'dont be silly I'll pay' if thats what she wants to do.

I'm really glad you both said about the pressure of 'new baby arriving' hitting you both too. its a mad mad thing that you can want and love something as much as a new baby and yet not like the cost/feeling trapped/whatever it is for you, feeling that comes with it. personally having had horrendous PND last time I feel literally sick at the thought of the chance of it coming back and see the time it could come back as an approaching blakc cloud. yes, def heaping pressure around here.

sweetheart · 30/09/2005 14:14

I was saying to dh the other day that atm it seems like we are counting down to nothing. I can't quite get my head round the fact that in 2 months we'll have a tiny baby. The thought is very scary.

It didn't help that I was reading a thread this morning by a woman who had terrible tearing and had to be rushed to theatre. Reading the thread made me feel sick and terrified.

I think it's natural for us all to start feeling a bit tense.

DQ - glad your writing down what you want to say to your dh. It usually helps me too!

ninah · 30/09/2005 14:21

writing stuff down is good, yes, clarifies in your own mind. Mine will be in Anglo Saxon and scorch the paper!
I just want to get baby and get this limbo over with, what to KNOW what I'm dealing with not keep guessing!
Nemo I wouldn't feel bad that MIL will pay for stuff you feel you should be paying for. Grandparents love to do this and generally are in the position where they can, they don;'t have the outgoings we do. My mum used to do loads cos my salary is not much. In a way it makes up for the fact that rest of family are so cool about it. I know how you feel about family - it was ds birthday earlier this month, we had a big party and my dad and sis went to Cornwall for the weekend rather than come to us. Also when I last saw dad he said 'oh, I thought you'd put on weight, I forgot you were pregnant'

george32 · 30/09/2005 14:27

DQ, , I'm currently doing an anger management course
I promise, I'm not a mad violent person before you all start backing out of the meet. Honest, I'm really very placid for 99% of the time but sometimes I just go mental at DP and just spurt such awful verbal shite at him. I was getting desperate as he had reached the end of his tether (this combined with pregnancy hormones were pushing him right over the edge) so I spoke to my GP about it. She was lovely & I'm now nearly at the end of a 7 appointment course with a counsellor who has been a great help. She has taught me ways of communicating which are far more effective than shouting and, although it is early days, just identifying my behaviour and doing something about it has improved our relationship tremendously.
Not saying you need this DQ but just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in not being able to say what you mean without going a bit barmy sometimes!

ninah · 30/09/2005 14:36

no you certainly aren't alone dq!
george any short tips you can pass on?

dramaqueen72 · 30/09/2005 14:42

george, thats fabulous to hear. I thought i was going mad here. yes ditto ninah, can you pass on any tips george? I might mention it next PND dr meeting. but thats quite awhile away.

george32 · 30/09/2005 14:57

Thanks guys

I found the parent / adult / child analogy really useful as I usually tend to disagree in child mode (ie, you always do this, you do this, you don't do that - attacking the other person). If you try to react in adult mode (I feel this, I feel that, calmly and rationally) what you say really makes an impact as the other person cannot dispute that this is how you feel.
Not sure that really made sense, but I have tried it with DP, simply using "I feel remarks" and the effect is amazing. He turned into the child to my adult!!

I'll try to find some info on-line about it. Not sure that scenario works for everyone, I guess it depends on how you react in a discussion / argument.

george32 · 30/09/2005 15:40

Oh no, I have scared everyone away with my madness haven't I!!

sweetheart · 30/09/2005 15:41

I understood what you meant george

I so bored at work - I was off playing freecell - sorry!!

ninah · 30/09/2005 15:57

so if I buttonhole p tonight I'll tell him I FEEL he's an a'hole! calmly
Oh dear ... lol
Seriously tho, see what you mean about the diff perspective on it

dramaqueen72 · 30/09/2005 16:04

good point george, no you didnt scare me I was cleaning the bathroom. (YAWN)
now hot and bothered. dh doesnt listen to me, so I must be saying it wrong and the feeling of frustation really builds inside me, til i could quite easily smash a whole lot of plates (its okay i dont) always in dayllight I can see my point of view sounds abit crap. but not while I'm saying it. iyswim!

george32 · 30/09/2005 16:16

LOL @ Ninah, yep that's right. Nothing he can say to argue back then as it's how you are feeling

DQ, that is part of my problem, that I get more & more frustrated which makes my communication worse. Only with DP though, haven't worked out why. It helps that he sees that I am trying to do something about it.

ninah · 30/09/2005 16:21

oh yes, I am FEELING it, believe me! I think this approach is making me even angrier actually!
Going for the burn!
Know what you mean though, hate the incoherent gibbering stage, and the mad and vitriolic things that emerge - did I say that?!

sweetheart · 30/09/2005 16:31

YEAH I can go home!!!

Have a GREAT weekend all

dramaqueen72 · 30/09/2005 16:38

have a good weekend s/h.
and thanks for today ladies. who wanted brownie recipes again?

dramaqueen72 · 30/09/2005 16:39

george, are we twins?

ninah · 30/09/2005 16:39

have a lovely weekend all

dramaqueen72 · 30/09/2005 16:50

oh no i hate you all going......please say you'll all come online when you get home. its so quiet on weekends I get v lonely here

Nemo1977 · 30/09/2005 16:59

DQ i am usually around..lol

have a good weekend SH and ninah

george32 · 30/09/2005 17:55

LOL DQ. No, you surely can't be as bad as me once I get going!!
What time is your DH due home tonight?

dramaqueen72 · 30/09/2005 19:57

it was a hug greeting guys. which is nice. he is home and alright. we have spoke breifly and hope to later or tomorrow. his parents have upset us so we are 'pulling together' iyswim over that. now need to keep my mouth shut and not get cross...........
george, i dont know, you keep saying things that make me go 'omg!I do that'
yeh nemo, counting on you to be here sat/sun

Original poster
ei23mummy · 30/09/2005 21:08

evening ladies!! sorry to hear your all having a bad time of it recently!!
iv been a busy bee so its just taken me the better half of an hour to read through all your posts!! gosh you lot can talk!!
i havent got much to complain about recently so im a bit of a black sheep!!
i agree about the feeling a little overwhelmed about the impending baby and xmas and lack of money etc its defo a little scary!![to put it lightly!!]
anywho i may be in good spirits but if anyone feels the need to have a rant about absolutely anything im always here at the end of an email- or phone for that matter if needs be!! if theres anything i can do to help destress you guys give me a shout!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ei23mummy · 30/09/2005 21:11

im glad your dh came in with a big hug for you DQ!

OP posts:
Nemo1977 · 30/09/2005 21:14

aww DQ glad you got a hug hun
by the way you dont happen to have a recipe for bread do you?????? Ooo and cookies..lol

Ei lol glad you dont have anything to moan about hun..always a bonus.

Well it looks like Adam is coming down with a cold or something..he had a temp from abtou 5pm so just had to run out and get him some medised as he is saying hurt oww and holding his throat..bless him. Just hope it is better for thomas tank on sunday

dramaqueen72 · 30/09/2005 22:50

nemo A recipe for bread?????? only about a hundred. what kind of bread hun???
dh has been v nice tonight, we have been getting on well and hes said in conversation how we'll be together when over 90 so i might as well get used to him.
ei, did you ask me for a recipe? or was it ebbie? ei, glad all is well with you right now, watch out for these pg hormones tho eh? they seem to be rampant here!
want a funny mental picture? i am sat on my birthing ball writing this!