OK. Warning! Long post alert!!!
Here's my birth story...On Friday 15th I'd woken up since 4am with the usual strong BH type contractions which had been teasing me all week. However they did feel more 'permanent' in a way. But I just couldn't be sure. So DP reckoned I would 'know' and not to get too excited. Anyhow, the (brusque) registrar had set me up for blood tests in advance of my supposed caesarean so we trotted off to the hospital for those. I thought while I was there I might ask somebody what they thought to my regular BH contractions (coming at least every 15-20 mins).
At the hospital we also were given a pre-elective caesarean 'talk' which I didn't realise I would be given on that morning. None of the others were VBAC hopefuls so I mentioned that to the midwife giving the talk. She kindly chatted to me after the group talk discussing the BH contractions and she offered me a sweep seeing as I was obviously not keen on caesarean. I told her how I was terrified of it all and she explained she'd make sure I was happy before going ahead and also only do it if the cervix was 'ready'.
So I thought, what the 'eck. Do it. And we did. She must have been really mindful of my feelings as she was sooooo careful and luckily she said I was 1.5 cm dilated (!!! I was amazed) and so I gave her my consent. The sweep was weird, uncomfy for sure, but nowhere near a 'painful' experience like my last one had been. And I had no immediate blood loss, as with the last one (when I had a period like bleed) and no feeling of having been violated.
Going home I noticed the BH type contractions getting stronger. I carried on as normal, doing everyday things, taking DD1 to music class after school etc. That night I slept somehow while contractions were building and woke at 2am with strong enough contractions to give me some pain. At 4am I woke DP and we started packing etc. By 6am they were 7-9 minutes apart and I'd been advised as I was a VBAC candidate to go in then. We left my mum with DD and headed off in a cab.
At hospital I was examined and I was 3cm - I was pretty pleased as my last labour had been all about 'no progress' so my body was in this case working! However I was only just able to 'breathe' through the contractions. Luckily the staff at the hospital were lovely. The midwife really motherly. I was not reckoned in active labour and was supposed to be moved to the antental ward but I think they just didn't get round to it so we could relax in the labour room. Then the pain set in and I have to say I can't understand how anyone manages to go the whole way without pain relief. Having said that I tried the gas & air again and I almost vomited immediately.
Perhaps if I was able to use gas & air I'd be able to get through it but as contractions got stronger I was really losing it. In the end the midwife said I should really consider pain relief - pethidine or epidural? So much for me breathing through the pain and staying active through the labour - I was 5cm at this point (so progressing 1cm an hour) and I just couldn't see myself getting to 10cm without dying as 5 hours seemed such a long time (!) and the pain was just debilitating (I just couldn't cope). So I went for epidural. And cried my eyes out as I felt like such a failure.
But once on the epidural I felt a lot better despite being immobile, as everybody who saw me were still rooting for my VBAC and I progressed pretty quickly to 8cm or something. Unfortunately then I got the shakes really bad (apparently a side effect) and I ended up feverish and the baby's heartbeat started getting faster. The doctors were a little concerned but I was so close I think they were all hoping the same as me so held out. I was so worried they'd whisk me off for the op but they didn't.
Once at 10cm they urged me to push and I'd not boosted my epidural on purpose so I could pretty much feel what I needed to feel without it being too painful. But as the baby's heartbeat by now was really threatening they decided to aid a faster delivery via ventouse. With me pushing and the ventouse it was really quick and I gave birth within 20 minutes of reaching 10cm. The midwife was so lovely and came up to me the next day and apologised saying I'd have done it easily on my own (the pushing part), it was only because the baby seemed in distress they had to speed it up a little.
Whatever. The main thing is my body functioned (although it seems I really can't take the pain!) and both my partner and I experienced the real life birth of our son in friendly supportive surroundings - it was unbelievable!!! Within an hour he was breastfeeding, I was amazed. Normal to most people but I didn't see my DD1 for a few hours after she was born and all the nightstaff at Lewisham had told me not to bother breastfeeding as it was too late, I was not in a state to do it and they should give her formula. (I didn't listen to them at the time but it was hard to have to battle them).
So it was, despite the yet-again medicalised nature of my labour, a really good experience which has made me feel so much better about what happened the first time - it says even more that so much of what happened the first time was due to horrible staff & bad luck rather than anything I could have done differently. Had to stay in at hospital due to the fevers we'd both had at birth, so antibiotics all round and blood tests for baby etc etc. But even the stay was just so much nicer than my last experience too. Lovely staff makes such a difference! Then we were given the all clear on Tuesday and finally got home!
Now adjusting obviously - and despite having tried all day to 'sleep when the baby sleeps' I keep choosing the wrong sleeps and he wakes all the time when I try and sleep and sleeps like a trooper when I do things like write long posts like these!!!! Typical!!! Was hoping he was staying awake for a bit this avo but he's slept for two hours now so he's probably building up for another wakeful night. Gah! Think I've had something like 9 hours sleep divided over three days and nights. Am going a bit doolally and feel quite tearful about it - but I guess we'll eventually get through it.
Sorry for long post everybody! Not quite the birth I was completely hoping for but definitely a huge improvement and it's a completely different experience recovering from normal birth - I never had the whole hormonal high last time, but this time it's totally different kettle of fish! :)