The PESH Deli - Going MAD for Hallowe'en.

[Scorpette]

Tales from the dark side, from a coven of evil hags obsessed with ghoulies. Hellish talk of FJ and puke will chill you to the marrow. Unspeakable horrors from our uterine crypts do creep - but thankfully, we're also having baybees...

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.

UPDIFFED

silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee).
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy).
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14.
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy).
maswera, jungle hottie, due December 11.
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25.
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 January.
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2.
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24.
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, will she ever stop puking?, due February 27.
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12.
Casserole, living on hula hoops, due April 10.
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan.
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 21 May.
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 3 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.

So come on in and leave your broomsticks and pointy hats by the door!

Interesting and helpful facts about hippobirfing and relaxed jaw, ta muchly. I do try the open mouth thang during smears and it helps declench, although I always worry that I might look like I'm slack-jawed with pleasure. Especially with the vile troll that did my dildocam earlier this year [hhmm]

Oh gawd. I have to go back to work tomorrow and have shedloads to do. Is it too early to go on maternity leave?

Just popping in to wish Scorps and Lyra

It was lovely to meet some of you last week, I'm sorry I was lame and had to leave early. I managed to lose my phone some time between leaving and getting to my house, so annoying.

Camel - I had a bit of a show at 23 weeks and then didn't go in to labour. At all. It's just our bodies messing with us. If you're feeling ok then your bit of stuff is probably nothing...

Oh dear. I was trying to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Scorps and Lyra, although I know I'm a couple of days late... sorry... I hope you both had a brilliant day.

Lovely to meet you too bes, I hope you are feeling better. Your boy is gorgeous.

Hope work isn't too grim muse...

Has anyone laid a baybee yet?

More NFI meet ups!!! :(

No baybee muse but we just did the sechs for laffs and an going to take the dog on a pelvis breaking walkies right now, having finished my porridge and vat of pineapple.

Am feeling all brave and bring it on today! C'mon!

Hope silver is snuffling her baybee now...

NFI = "Not Fucking Invited"?

When I have a forrin partee honey, you are more than welcome. You and your little dog too!

Don't worry moo I was NFI either.

I had a curry last night, not to bring it on or anything just because neither of us could be bothered to cook.

Silver how's it going?

moo I want to meet you and your little dog as well. Although please keep in mind I may steal said dog when you're distracted.

Hope Silver has a baybee in her arms right now :)

Bloody Holly Willoughbooby has just announced she's 3 months preg (1 week further on from me). This means that I have to see her being all young and pretty and glowing and blooming and so on whilst I look like something from an advert highlighting cruelty to donkeys in Eastern Europe (the donkeys and the haggard peasant women) Although she is as thick as a kettle.

Obvy, I don't have to 'see' her at all, I just feel like being a caaaah.

Big whiny mememe moan follows. You may wish to skip:

I was up at about 4am almost screaming with the fucking pain in my stomach. Poor TYF thought I was having a mc or possibly that an Alien was going to burst out of my belly. Have terrified usually-frosty receptionists into letting me speak to my Doc. Again, she breezily points out that it's completely harmless to me and the baby and that I can't be given anything for it. And reiterated her advice that rich and full-fat food is the only way to calm it down. Then suggested paracetamol. Yes, when you're writhing in agony like Regan in The Exorcist, a couple of paracetamol will do the trick

Because of the diet advice, which has admittedly helped, I am going to be the only differd in the world who puts ON weight with Hyperemesis! How is that even fair?!

Realised these details might confuse, so quick synopsis: Docs says my probs are rarer/weirder form of HG where I'm not sick a lot but have crippling nausea 24-7. Anti-emetics don't touch the nausea or work because I'm not being sick that much. I have an even rarer complication of the constant nausea causing me incredible muscular pain in my gut, which they can't treat (can't give me hardcore muscle relaxants or pain relief for obvious reasons). The drucks she prescribed can't be taken with my existing health ishoos (found that out from Dr Google and she sheepishly admitted she'd not checked) and no others can help my rather unusual and specific probs. HappyHappyJoyJoy.

Just typing all that has taken me nearly an hour, as I have to keep breaking away to writhe and make high-pitched noises of pain. TYF actually cried the other day seeing me suffer.

Sorry this is so self-indulgent. I just feel very low, very alone, very despairing at the mo. It's not a bit of tummy ache, it's like being fucking disembowelled or summat. Love my baby, am so happy to be pg, wouldn't change it for the world. Could just do without being in constant pain!

God, that's long. Sorry!

Well, this is a pretty poor showing on the baybee laying front ladeez. Dontcha know I'm bored at my desk & need some entertaining? Gah, how selfish of you

Actually, despite grin overload I feel rubbish. I made the decision that I was going to eat healthy food today if it killed me. It near damn has. Why does healthy food taste rank but thick slices of bread with ready salted crisps taste like pure liquid gold?

We've still not told anyone I'm diffed. Well, apart from youse lot. And FC. And GP. And chiropractor. And random woman in swimming pool on hols. Yeah, I reckon this keeping it quiet until week 12 is going well.

Buggar scorps nice timing on my part to x-posts . Sorry about that.

That sounds rubbish, poor you. If your GP is crap enough not to even check whether you can take drucks she prescribed, I presume she's competent in diagnosing you in the first place? Just sommat to worry think about.

It's been confirmed by 2 separate Docs and the MW (despite being weird about Ms/Miss, she's very competent). The fact that it's not doing me or the baby any harm is reassuring but I occasionally break down crying wondering how much longer I can tolerate it. I'm just being pathetic and need some manly upper arm punches to help me HTFU (also to STFU).

Well, it may not be harming you physically, but surely the stress & upset can't be good? God, I realise I sound like I'm scare-mongering, that's not how I mean it. It just sounds pretty rubbish all round & I can't believe they're all just being a bit meh about it.

Here's a manly punch anyway.

I think sometimes Docs appear a bit meh about things they can't do anything about because they don't want to get upset for you or say summat like 'God, it's a bag of shite, innit? I feel so sorry for you'. And that they're busy enough already without spending any time on things that nothing can be done for.

Their attitude is 'it's not doing you or the foetus any actual harm, so you've just got to put up and shut up'. I realise I do have to STFU about it, it just gets a bit too much at times. I feel stupid for going on about it here, as there's nothing to be done about it. TYF keeps telling me I'm brave, which pisses me off, because there's nothing brave about tolerating something you can't do anything about. Ah, ignore me. I'd rather be pg and in pain than never have a child, no question about it whatsoever.

Oh Scorps, have a very gentle hug.

First things, do not worry about putting on weight. Seriously. Better to be a bit podgier at the end and feel better now. Do not go near scales. Do not obsess over whether clothes fit or not. Just do whatever you need to do to minimise the pain.

I know how soul destroying it is when you feel awful constantly and there's nothing you can do about it. I really hope you don't have to put up with this for too much longer. Every day you get through is one day closer to it being over anyway.

Finally, when I was looking at the natal hypnotherapy stuff I did see there was a CD for sickness. I am somewhat sceptical about the idea, but in your position frankly I'd try anything.linkage

Scropy I'm so sorry you are feeling so dreadful. Muse is very wise, listen to her. I really do hope it eases off for you soon. I know you have said it before, but when is scan date?

No news of Silver yet? I hope she is happily cuddling and snuffling her ickle baybee.

Moo you is luffly and so is your dog. Maybe next year (i.e. after I've laid) we could have a FESHmeet and admire each others dogs baybees?

Scrops another sorry to hear you're feeling so crappy post from me. I think it's even harder in some ways when you've been TTC for ages, get the BFP and then feel crap. In a lot of ways you feel like you shouldn't moan, or should always qualify it with a 'but of course I'm grateful to be PG', which of course you are, but you are still entitled to say how crap you feel! I also can't believe you're 11 weeks (I think!) - you must be due for some respite from this soon I reckon.

Self-indulgent post alert coming up:
I am currently 4+5 which I know is mega early and all that. However, I literally have zero symptoms - no hurty buzwams, no sickness, no emotional outbursts, no nothing! I get an occasional twinge in the wombular area, but I get that anyway, so not sure it's to do with PG. With mini O I seem to remember morning sickness kicking in about week 5/6, so should probably just enjoy this bit. However, I can't shake the feeling that all is not well (probably just the pessimist in me). Can any of you enlighten me as to when you started to get symptoms so I have a point of reference?

Ta!

Thanks, gals. It's not the putting on weight I resent, it's the mindbogglingly cruel irony of putting it on because of Hyperemesis that pisses me off!

I'm looking at that sickness CD right now. I might actually order it. Frankly, if TYF brought home a voodoo witchdoctor to sort me out, I'd probably give it a go, the way I feel right now.

Scan date is 15th Nov - a fortnight today. Wheeeeeeeeeh!

Scorps this does not sound at all good or normal and I really think you should be banging your doctor's desk for a referral to a consultant that can help you digestively speaking. It's not acceptable to be in pain like that. And of the weight - DO NOT WEIGH YOURSELF. I did it 3 times and stopped at about 30 something weeks when I realised I had reached the 2.5 stone mark. It ain't worth it. I KNOW my maternity jeans I bought are tight and won't fit over my arse now. I don't need an electronic scale to tell me!

And Holly Willoughby is a talentless airhead. I've had to contend with Rachel 'what am I famous for again' Stevens at the same gestation as me, flitting about in heels and maxi dresses and doing personal training blah blah blah. Pregnant women should NOT be allowed to read trashy gossip magazines.

I iz now looking forward to giant PeshParty before or after Christmas. I will bring HairyMoo as a special guest. He is generally the centre of attention anyway. Baybees round these parts of London are ten a penny, and cute dogs get all the bloody attention. Seriously. My dog is such an attention seeking tart... Muse he will almost certainly want to come home with you!!

okie I may cave and have curry tonight also. So far Mr Moo's SuperSperm TM doesn't seem to have done diddlysquat.

I think I started puking sometime in week 6. Presence or absence of symptoms is no sign of things being fine/not fine. And so far, I believe every PESH who has worried (and we all do) has shortly afterwards been struck down with sickness. rocket knows what I'm talking about!

to highlight the doggy love point made above, I bumped into a woman who lives on my road and who ever since hairymoo was ickle ickle always stops and says "hello hairymoo" - yes she even knows his name. So, I saw her getting out of her car on the way to the park earlier as I waddled 5 feet behind husbo and dog. I said hello and she had to ask me who I was... Case in point methinks.

Haha, I think cute dogs do attract more attention than babies. When my dad's very cute dog was a puppy we took her and my nephew to the park. Dad sat on bench with the dog while I entertained nephew. Every time I looked over there was a new woman sat next to my Dad chatting away. Total babe magnet.

You could also hear people as we walked towards them say "oh wow, look, a Dulux puppy. Look look look".