The PESH Deli - Going MAD for Hallowe'en.

[Scorpette]

Tales from the dark side, from a coven of evil hags obsessed with ghoulies. Hellish talk of FJ and puke will chill you to the marrow. Unspeakable horrors from our uterine crypts do creep - but thankfully, we're also having baybees...

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April.
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8.
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24.
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29.
AlpinePony, boy, born 1 July.
Carrots, boy, born July.
IggyPiggy, girl, born July.
Cosmosis, boy, born Sept 5.
Backinthebox, boy, born Sept 7.
Skatergrrrl, girl, born Sept 10.
VAG, boy, born Oct 2.

UPDIFFED

silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee).
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy).
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6.
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14.
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy).
maswera, jungle hottie, due December 11.
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25.
ChoChoSan, "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb", due 31 January.
CluckyKate, hatching an egg, due February 2.
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science, due February 24.
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, will she ever stop puking?, due February 27.
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12.
Casserole, living on hula hoops, due April 10.
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not, due 22 Jan.
Scorpette, now carrying a RL baby in addition to Clothilda and the squid, due 21 May.
Rocketleaf, no longer jealous of morning sickness, due 3 June.
Twinkle Toes, supergluing her fanjo shut, due 23 June.

So come on in and leave your broomsticks and pointy hats by the door!

Oh muse, that is lovely. I esp liked the lack of pressure, just sweeping. So glad you went ahead & got the result you wanted x

that sounds fantastic.

Oh that is just brilliant. I've got a lump in my throat just reading that. I'm so glad Sharda was there for you... she is one of life's good people I think. Really really happy xx

muse fabulous post. Awwwww so bubs got the viewing s/he deserved and so did you. Such a shame not everyone is as lovely as your lady today.

Happy you are happy muser. So glad you got the experience you needed and deserved. Proper Bob - lovely!

Drom if you can be arsed to go to Wimbledon Gap there have a mat section and H&M have one too. I got a couple of black wrap dresses from Gap which did me for work and H&M do excellent long t-shirts that cover arse and bump - I now possess 7 of them and live in them now with leggings (my jeans are just too hurty now)

Muse glad you had a great scan and that you liked Sharda - I thought she was brill too. Let's hope you are remember this one and just forget the last one.

Thanks for the tooth advise ladies. It is kind of through and it is not the first time it has given me jip. Dentist seems to think it will be a relatively easy extraction and to be honest it bloody hurts so I am tempted to get rid. It is only the one and I don?t think I want it rearing its head again when new baby is like 2 weeks old. Anyway, will sleep on it and see how it is tomorrow. Until then it is soup through a straw and ice cream for me.

Hope it feels better tomorrow. I am such a wuss with teeth, I need serious amounts of temazipam or general anaethetic. I actually hit my dentist during emergency root canal treatment.

MrsFC how dare MrFC even think about you doing a spot of light sweeping during mat leave. Mr Moo can only do housework under highly monitored instructions and explanations, e.g. "darling you can't fit any more washing in that basket - what do we do when that happens?" Or "washing up after dinner is not just to make me happy, it's so we can use the pots the next day" etc. I fear that when my brain leaves the building shortly and I no longer give a shit, it will only be a short while before we go feral and exist purely on ham sandwiches.

Muse so glad it was a lovely experience - that's how it should be!

Any news from Extreme?

MrsFC - i honestly think getting a cleaner after my first child saved my mental health! I hate living in mess but couldn't find enough energy or time to clear up at the end of the day, let alone scrub the toilet or clean the bath. I wept after the first time she came round !.

I slipped over spectacularly yesterday, landing on my side/belly and then had cramping in the evening , tell me I'm being a twat to think it might make my baybee fall out! I also cried watching Dumbo this afternoon, so guess those pregnancy hormones are still raging.

MrsFC we are getting a cleaner for when the baby comes. I may be home all day, but there is no way I'm doing it. And we have the smallest flat in the world. Don't care.

Twinkle baby will be fine. The cramping is probably just stretching as the baby gets nicely snug.

Oh you poor poppet. Dumbo is v v sad, entirely understandable. And no, your baybee will be fine. Now if you had been carrying a large cake on the other hand... Reeeeelax and have another weep!

Twinks, everything I've read/heard says that falls aren't dangerous at an early stage. I totally understand how scary it must've been though, you poor thing. Cramping would probably be your stomach muscles, as they always tense up instinctively if someone falls, and they're in the same area as your ute

Muse, am overjoyed that you had such an enjoyable, empowering and moving scan experience. It should be like that for everyone! I've seen the pic and showed TYF and he was 'WOW!' at the detail. WONDERFUL!

Medwoman, I don't like Debenhams but am willing to give them a try if they do some nice maternity hosiery (ooh, get me!). JL do sell Spanx maternity tights but I ain't paying over a tenner for a single pair of 30 denier crapshacks The last time a pair of those looked good was that Robert Palmer vid!

Why can I eat okay but drinking even a few sips of anything makes me bring everything up? Am getting v bad dehydration headaches - I am forcing down at least 1.5 L of liquid during a day but nearly all of it is coming back up. I did tell the stoopid doc this ages ago but their mantra seems to be that if you can keep food down then you're not that bad (because 'there's water in food')

Ironically, trying to take some paracetamol earlier made me spew them and the water back up, FFS!

twink, all is fine. I had really scary period camps at 5 weeks, I think it's just the BOC squdging up in your uterus. Try not to fret too much.

Scorps did they check your urine? I am obsessed with piss, clearly, but I really think they should. My GP was all set to whisk me off to hospital and was really concerned. I don't understand why yours aren't.

Muse, I honestly think the Doc dismissed me as a BESH, ie she thought 'here's some over-educated, middle-class bint who's left it till she's v old to sprog up and now she's whining about a bit of nausea. Time to join the real world, dearie'. Also, like I said, they seem fixated by the fact that keeping food down is all that matters, whereas I'd-a thought that liquid was marginally more vital. If it's like this again tomorrow am booking an appointment with another Doc and having Stern Words

Please do Scorps. And I would lie if you go back and say you're not keeping anything down. That way at least they should do some checks.

I got a copy of the NCT catalogue in the post today. For a mere £59.99 I could have a Womama Birthing Wrap. The only clothing designed specifically for labour and birth.

It appears to be a cotton wrap dress. Or possibly a swimsuit cover up. And it's called Womama. Wo. Mama. WTF?

I hate Debenhams too, scorps, and the one up here is particularly vile, but their tights got better reviews from somewhere than the M+S ones, and I'm happy with them.

Muser if you buy that wrap (and yes I have seen it) I will personally have to hurt you. WTF? I can't believe people dream this shit up.

I love Debos in Clappy J. They have TopShop and Coast and nice make up and everything. I remember the days when it used to be Arding & Hobbs. I bought a brown Trilby Hat and wore it with an argyle jumper. I think it must have been 1988.

If I bought it I would have to hurt myself moo. I did have a good old giggle at the NCT catalogue.

Reminds me though. Hypno CD, what is the one Cunty used? Or was it Curly? My mind has gone blank with the Cs.

1. Hassle Docs. 2) Debenhams = tights. 3) Break into NCT warehouse and burn every Womama wrap in existence.

Have kept a bit of water down now, Muse. I love how you're my very own morning sickness advocate

Soppy birthing outfit story: for my 21st, my Mum gave me a special box of stuff she'd kept from when she was pg with me and when I was a newborn, including the nightie she gave birth to me in (pink, babydoll, uber-70s). I treasure that box :)

(Feel free to enjoy Freudian moment)

that's very sweet.

Not quite the same, but my MIL gave me a bag with some bits of bobs of baby stuff - baby wipes, lotion, cotton buds etc.

I was going to say I don't have any little mementos from when I was a baby. However, as the bear that Mystery Family Member gave me when I was a baby is sat on my bed, all balding and sewn together, that's clearly a lie.

It was most unexpected as my Mum isn't particularly sentimental. Most of my parents' treasured memories involve cackling about my had-to-be-seen-to-be-believed travel sickness and the time my brother fell face-first into a pile of dogpoo

PS They are ridiculously soppy though. An unusual combo.
PPS I just went to say 'I love you' to TYF (because I do). Except that instead of saying 'you' I did an almighty belch, without warning. The SHAME! His response? 'I see you've been brushing up on your seduction techniques'

I got a Next maternity faux-wrap dress knee length for work. After washing it was barely covering my giant knickers. I took it in for a refund suggesting that something in maternity, in this size should do more than cover the arse of a 36 year old! Although tbf, I asked for the refund in Newcastle and I was probably speaking greek for their usual clientele!

muser That's fantastic news - I'm so glad you went along and got the service that everybody deserves!

I had the nurses in for the first week when I got home from hospital who did all the cleaning and it was very much appreciated. They did all the washing up and odds & sods like that which I really couldn't be arsed to do.

I am still grinning. Even after the daily morning puke. I'm having a baybeeeeee!

Yes, I know I've been having a baby for months now. But it feels real now! I think I may have finally stopped fretting.