The PESH deli – how extraorder, we're all in pig

[Muser]

We smacked our ovaries and sent them to Madame Bovary, and now we're in pig. MSDP ends here, just waiting for the MAD lot to join us.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July
Carrots, boy, born July
IggyPiggy, girl, born July

UPDIFFED
Cosmosis, the baybee that is never going to come out, due August 22
backinthebox, thinking of inventive uses for courgettes, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September 1
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
ChoChoSan "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb" due 31 January
CluckyKate, hatching an egg - due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science - due February 24
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, I threw up behind a tree - due February 27
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole living on hula hoops - due April 10
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not

I had a drink nearly every day on my hols. Just a small beer, or a glass of wine. I even drank the limoncello the waiter gave me. And ate the blue cheese. I shall add having an iPhone and Mac Air to my list of badness.

Oh yes, I spoke to the midwife about homebirth today. Despite the fact my borough has one of the highest homebirth rates she wasn't very encouraging. One of the things I'm worried about is the spanking new birth centre won't have a room available when I do go into labour. But apparently that has not happened yet. So I may go for it after all. I don't think I can have a waterbirth at home, or even use the bath much in labour due to lack of space (generally for birthpool and for midwife in bathroom). So birth centre would probably give me more options.

No need to decide yet so I shall keep pondering.

The Peshes -Pure Evil.

ski are you lot really catching up with me on the parenting skills front? I'm sooo proud of you all!

If it's any help mooch is growing up to be articulate, happy and very friendly and secure despite my worst efforts. Resilient little buggers, kids :)

yep, our washing machine is used rather a lot too. One of the reasons I am so excited about The House is that it has a UTILITY ROOM!!!!

Am not likely to be encouraged much with the hb thing myself. Hence independent midwife. And I seem to have made my mind up...

Ski Guess what? Chair is sold by John Lewis - quelle suprise. I really like it, though.

Sorry, am a bit lentil-weaving about epidurals. I read Naomi Wolf at an impressionable age.

Muse Is the birth centre part of the hospital? The one I'm going for is separate, so I had to book in for that, but there are five beds which will hopefully mean I can deffo give birth there.

But naughty midwife - she should be encouraging about homebirths. My borough seems to be frighteningly progressive about all this shiz.

Have indigestion - am being punished for too nice a lunch, grr.

At least they'll let you two IN the bloody birth centres

Birth centre is part of the hospital. So if it all gets too much you can go upstairs for a lovely epidural.

She wasn't discouraging, but she did that "well of course there might not actually be a midwife available for you" line. And I thought they couldn't do that, that if you were having a homebirth they had to send someone to you.

Anyway, I shall wait and see. I do know the borough has a good homebirth rate so they ought to be mostly supportive. The cynical might say the homebirth rate is so high because the hospital's reputation is absolutely shocking.

bloom high chair also looked REALLY hard to clean. And the last thing you want is to be trying to stop a kid making mess when they are learning to eat [King Caunute emoticon]

They might not let me gin. I kind of got the impression from the midwife that the birth centre is very strict. So they may turn round and say I can't use it. I would like to know if they have a BMI rule on it, as I could trip up on that. Although as I have yet to gain any weight in this pregnancy maybe I won't slip into "how is she not dead yet super-obesity".

gin We're going for the full array of bad-mummyness. E.g., drinking, smoking, tummy-sleeping, formula-feeding, dropping, Stuck in front of the telly, etc., etc.

muse you could sell a kidney and pay for an independent midwife?

gin You're right, not as easy to clean as the IKEA one. I was inspecting one up close and personal last week. The chair thingy comes off and through the washing machine - the rest is plastic/chrome/pleather - but there are bound to be nooks & crannies not so easy to keep clean. Unless you worship at the Temple of Housework and actually have a cleaning tool-set or use cotton wool buds to clean.

ski them's my girls [proudface]

I thought it looked nice and wipeclean .

Sorry they won't let you in the birth centres, gin. Is just because you'll corrupt all the other mothers with your PESHy ways.

NB Mooch is without a doubt one of the nicest, politest, funniest children I have ever met, so you're definitely doing something right. Pliz to sing the poo song now for the edification of the group?

I could. I think I'd rather use the birth centre over anything else. If for any reason that doesn't look possible I will rethink.

Maybe I can persuade MrM's cityboy best mate to book us in to The Portland as a baby shower gift.

all this high chair talk already. I reckon i'll just whack the bumbo with play tray on the dining table...

washing machine is essential - I had a new one within weeks of giving birth. No time to get old one fixed.

hurray for beating Bob muse. I was addicted to my home doppler until movement and scans gathered pace.

A colleague finished work on friday and laid baybee on Monday! get those bags packed peshes!

just want to make you proud gin

I drink starbucks very regularly - not sure if that is fari trade or not - but I dount it. While preggers I have limited myself to one a day (not decaf). I too smell funny gin. I am just thankful that I know the funny smell will eventually go post birth.

@bad mummy's club: Hom fed Rastus some ice cream on Sunday. But that's not the worst of it - it was at a HARVESTER!! Kthanxbai

@hard-as-nails club: I did without an epidural, see my twigs and hear me roar. It was a piece of cake

Oh my God you were in a Havester? That be the way of evilness and rotten parenting.

I know as much. In my defence it was for a birthday do and not something I would have choosed for myself on account of being such a filthy snob.

Did they actually ask you if you'd ever been to a Harvester before? And then show you the gobbed-in salad bar?

I have previously made my views about Harvesters well known which is why it was a bit when it was chosen for the MIL's b'day party. Needless to say I gave the salad bar a v v wide berth, being as I used to be a food hygiene inspector who sent samples of such wares to the lab and marvelled at the numbers of faecal coliforms present. I tried to warn everyone, to no avail [killjoy emoticon].

Far too many adidas trackie bottoms and reebok classics there for my taste.

Cunty I would love that job. Really I would.

I can let you have my certificate of competence if you like? I don't do it any more