The PESH deli – how extraorder, we're all in pig

[Muser]

We smacked our ovaries and sent them to Madame Bovary, and now we're in pig. MSDP ends here, just waiting for the MAD lot to join us.

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, girl born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April
FannyPriceless, boy, born June 8
CurlyCasper, girl, born June 24
CUNextTuesday, boy, born June 29
Skihorse, boy, born 1 July
Carrots, boy, born July
IggyPiggy, girl, born July

UPDIFFED
Cosmosis, the baybee that is never going to come out, due August 22
backinthebox, thinking of inventive uses for courgettes, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September 1
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
silversky, the biggest farter, due 18 October (first baybee)
Honeymoo, 3 wees a night, due October 31 (boy)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November 14
ReginaMonologue, knows when all the sales are, due November 20 (boy)
maswera, jungle hottie - due December 11
PollyPoo, wants to name her baybee after the dog, The New Messiah is due December 25
ChoChoSan "and Lo! The lord did resurrect her petrified womb" due 31 January
CluckyKate, hatching an egg - due February 2
Perfect Dromedary, defied medical science - due February 24
Ginhag, reckless cake-carrier, due 28th Feb
Muser, I threw up behind a tree - due February 27
Medee, finally over the Haribo craving, due March 12
Casserole living on hula hoops - due April 10
MrsFC, joining whether she wants to or not

That is very cunning MrsFC. Very cunning indeed. I like your style.

Work is work. It has brought back the nausea and I would like to leave now please. Roll on February.

Had second midwife appt today. Got to hear Bob's heartbeat. tWas amazing. I want a Doppler now.

Oh and gin, I'm with you on the boys name dilemma. I used my favourite ones on the first boy child and now I have none left! Think I'll let the FC decide...

Oh muse, I know what you mean aboutthe doppler! Hearing that is almost as exciting as the scan isn't it!

Bad news about the nausea though. Couldn't you just take some time off sick or change your hours or reduce your days?

Oooh, Ski, I saw those online a while back and I want one soooooo much! TYF will never agree to such exorbitance, but they are AMAZE, aren't they? Practical AND super-stylish. I despair of how un-stylish so many things for kiddiwinks are

Oh yes. Ipads. I don't have one but MrM does. He uses it all the time. I find it a bit awkward to hold. I don't think it'd be that easy to hold while breastfeeding. They're not really one handed. I will stick with my laptop.

MrsFC - I used a similar ruse last year before xmas. A project I hated working on and the manager was an absolute cunt was based in another building across town. Not that far really, maybe only a 500m walk? However, it knocked me for six, especially carrying my laptop etc. Also no canteen, no vending machines, no cleaners (ergo minging loos), no coffee/water and a 20 minute walk to the supermarket. I used the pregnancy card. Tbf, as I explained to them, I have email, two phone numbers, communicator and access to all networks - why the fuck do I need to be in a particular geographical location?

MrsFC/Scorps Have just unexpectedly received a 1k bonus this morning. Am torn between what is right and what is so beautifully ergodynamic and design-lush. Have not told jailbait about bonus yet...

Does MrM like his still? The FC has my old ipod touch & loves Angry Birds...

ski, I do love the chair - but I reckon you should ensure jailbaits agreement to buying it & use the bonus on summat just for you...

Didn't bloody refresh, arrgh!

Muse, is fanfuckingtabulous that you heard Bob's heartbeat. Am so happy for you

Kate, congrats on the boy news! :)

I'm quite jealous (and suspicious) of those of you laid-back enough to want the flavour to be a surprise - hell, I wanna ask what mine is at the 12 week scan! (They can tell then, apparently.) As for names, TYF dislikes all boys' names - including his own, the nutter (it's a really nice name, too) - so a girl may well be required

MrM does love his iPad. He uses it a lot and has started reading books on it. I think if you're the kind of person who likes to be on the internet a lot, likes games, and would use the books then you wouldn't stop using it.

That's just what I was hoping. Brill - I'll send the FC to the Apple Store right now. As for the jewels, they can wait until he finally decided to propose, being MrsFC on MN is the nearest I get...!!

ski, glad to know it's not just me being cunning on the work front!

I have the ikea high chair and it is ace - found it really good in the early days of weaning. I also have a tripp trapp (which we use all the time now) and a "me too" for holidays and out and about. I have three high chair options and only one child! I also have three prams (since I recently "won" a phil and teds on ebay) and still only one child! Is this madness and over extravagant? I will probably sell my original pram although I am dithering as I like is so much and figure it would be easier to use when I only have 1 child with me during the day on the occasions mini cokie is at nursery - hmmm decisions decisions...

Ski* I like your thinking about geographical location not being an issue. I fear I will have this issue when I return from mat leave. I reckon in the year I am "off" my UK office will close so my position will be relocated overseas. I am already planning my argument that I can do my job from that London town and fuck me, modern technology should permit this non? Otherwise I will insist they pay me a shit load of money and lay me off.

Moo hommm! I think you can pay as you go to the yoga. No point in you registering for the course as you have missed some and you are not likely to see it to the end (mid Dec!)

Gah, can someone tell me how to disguise my mahoosive coat-hook nips when I go out? It's a good job I'm short, otherwise no-one's eyes would be safe If I wear anything heavy, it's agony but if I wear anything light I look like I'm doing novelty nip shapes with pointy fingers under my top

I want an iPad.

ski & honey I reckon as long as the cat stroker is not trying to balance a cake at the same time she should be ok non??

I am having same prob Scorps, tis a nightmare - have to keep jacket on at work or else people only talk to my chest. How about buying some breast pads a bit early?

Rots thanking you kindly for the offer but having looked at internal dimensions I don't think I could comfortably fit in the pool - I think I am rather too tall and gangly unfortunately. TG will just have to shell out on the bigger birthpool in a box option. About time he put his hand in his pocket!

Off to do hippo birthing CD now... ommmmm.

I had ikea high chair, was great, especially for lazy arsed mothers who just fling food at baybee and see what happens umm...bay-led weaning types :)

Also have an ipad and I love it. Good with kids about too as it is less easy to grab and snap in half than a laptop. Mooch loves it too, has some v good kid's apps and is useful for plugging him in to kids telly n fings when on planes etc. Yes, with headphones. Yes I am a terrible mother.

Yay to bob's heartbeat muse. I am hoping that the ginlet still has one of those. Am pretty sure the tummy sensations recently are not just flatulence...am looking forward to the definite wriggles that make you feel all is well though. Is only a matter of time before this child attempts to fight its father through my belly just like the last one did.

Finance bloke meeting tomorrow to see if we can swing buying The House. I wants it...we'll see.

Drom if you are interested we are going to a much smaller scale place than Babington etc for our anniversary in Nov, is near the sea, has log fires n good food n boutiquey style rooms. No spa but free use of one nearby. I can assess for you while I am there if you wish? All depends what your after really.

MrsFC no fucking way am I letting mr gin loose on name selection all by himself... we'll end up with Hercules Starbuck Pele or some such.

BTW I still don't have a date for 20 week scan. I rang up and they said 'Oh we're sorting them all out next week so you'll hear then...' without asking how many weeks I am. SO HOW DO THEY KNOW?

scorps I would be fairly stunned if they could actually see conclusive evidence of sex at 12 week scan. I know if you have amnio or whatever at that time they can find out, but it would be really hard to see anything clearly in the knackers/foofoo area when the critter is still so very small...

oh.... AND Ipad doesn't work with flash. So you can't view flash sites, which can be annoying.

Don't know what to do about your nips scorps

I have this : www.chiccohighchair.co.uk/chicco-polly.html - donated by a friend unused. This is the same friend who will only dress her 15 month old son in "labels" and is moving back to the UK in 8 weeks. There will be an enormous clear out and I will gladly take EVERYTHING!

okie Worth a shot, I have an old uni pal now living in Melbourne who works his old job for his London office. They fly him over once a year for a face-to-face chat, but honestly, with VOIP, video conferencing et al - what's the need?

polly What about something like this? www.worldofwater.org.uk/products/Atlantis-Glassfibre-pond-%252dNiiagata.html - serves two purposes (would appeal to TG) - Boo would love it!

iPads make me laff in the sense that it's often "fair-trade coffee drinking Guardian readers" who use 'em, yet the minerals are mined in africa under slave labour conditions and they're made by Foxconn in China - and don't even get me started on Steve "Karma" Jobs who allegedly bought himself a new liver and has employs Foxconn workers. Very fucking enlightened. May karma serve you well in your next life Mr Jobs.

Still... no judgement - my employer uses Foxconn too - but at least I know where I'm at!

Merci for all the holibobs advice, peeps. Gin if you can bear to report back on place, sounds pretty ideal.

scorps and pol google nipple daisies - it might help. Although they might not be the most hypoallergenic things in the world...

Ski WANT CHAIR! Where is it actually from? Have you links?

well I'll add encouraging slave labour to the list alongside the terrible mother thing...

I also smell funny today. Will add that too.

and I don't drink fairtrade coffee.

I think I must actually be evil

not 'I don't drink it' as in I refuse it... but the stuff I buy (and am addicted to) does not claim to be, and is therefore unlikely to be, fairtrade.

I will be torn apart by mn now I have posted this.

I had a glass of wine at lunchtime. And a chocolate pot which probably contained the corpses of small furry creatures raw eggs. I am also a bad mother.

AND I got lectured on the fact that I WILL want an epidural, oh yes. Which I might well do, but the midwife-led unit kinda rules that out.

snigger @ gin , cunty , curly and I are in competition to see who is the worst mother.

drom epidurals are lovely - don't let any twig-wearers try to convince you otherwise. It makes your legs all warm and fuzzy and then you lay a baybee. As for the chair - it's by "Bloom" - and are located in all babyshops with couples backing off muttering "holy fuck, did you see the price on that?".

Gals, gals, gals - forget all this "I want x, y & z" shiz - what you really need is a Bosch washing machine. Today Bear has been sick on 4 (yes, FOUR) tops - and sicked down the inside of his dad's t-shirt and down the front of mine.