The autumn wagon is rolling: take your seats and fasten your belts if you dont want to fall off!!

[GiraffeYoga]

Here you go!

MOrning all

Diege- I am sorry that it was definate diagnosis of a miscarriage but glad for you that its complete and you know where you are with it now . I hope you can get some rest in bed this afternoon? Will you be able to take tomorrow off sick too? I reckon you need some more rest time if you can take it >

Thats great news about the early scan next time too. Thats good service for you :)

Nat- I can underststand being annoyed about the buggy thing for DS2. But I agree with Diege really. In that situation with lots of children its hard for them to get it entirely right for everyone. Maybe just ask them to encourage walking next time. We have things like this crop up with the SG at nursery. Despite not always wanting to, I just let it go as generally the care is excellent.

Cant - glad the nausea is getting better- you are amazing. If I was having the level of sickness you describe I'd be bed bound! I am a total woose when it comes to feeling ill

Gruff- sorry you are still suffering with nausea. It seems to be going on for ages for you. Sent you a text this morning

Nat/Cant/MMM- think the comments re SAHM were meant for me not gruff? . Thanks for the kind words. I am prone to torturing myself on this subject on a regular basis - so swing back and forth on it. I think I really need to cut to the chase and do 4 days. I will be soooo much happier being with the SG a bit more. I've loved attending playgroups wiht her for the last couple of days.

Our 2nd NCT baby arrived at the w/e. I've been supporting my friend (via text so far) with her breastfeeding. Its really nice to help and made me remember how much I want to do my NCT counselling course- I must chase up and see where I am on the list :)

Going to make brownies for her later so I will make an extra batch for the wagon and send them around.

Hi diege glad u got best news
And that all in tact!
Hi nat hope u sort things out

Hvng a nice relaxing day in the warm
Lovely 2 hv sun 2 4 school runs

Waiting 4 internet parcels bits I ordered :}
Leapfrog violet dog, my cow print slanket,
Mega blocks monsters

Ah yes, still intact TINK Am sort of thinking about maybe trying as soon as it seems I may be ovulating, seeing that physically all is well. Bit naughty, but assume the only reason for waiting for first period is for dating purposes?
GYO, really wish I could take more time off, but I will be even more shattered if I let my in-tray fester any longer ...Hoping to work from home thurs though, so just the killer full day of teaching tomorrow, then it eases off...
CANT, yes I was thinking about what you said about ds's conception post-mmc. It may well be true I suppose about boost to fertility following mc - nothing to lose I suppose!
Hope everyone's ok - I'll do my best to get honking again asap

Hiya

Diege- I know what you mean about the inbox. I am dreading going back due to that. Glad you can WFH on thurs though.

I'd say go for it now if you are ovulating- nothing to lose as you say

Hi tink :)

Had a lovely afternoon with Gruff, the GC and the SG today. Coffee, cake and christmas decorations!

Really cold and foggy here. Am glad to be in for the night now.

Brrrrrrrrrrrr

Ive totally confused who's messages were for who. Ignore that bit of my earlier post!

Hello everyone!

Sorry I've been quiet for so long. Just illness after illness. I'm sat in bed with the laptop now as I'm full of cold and all bunged up!

Diege - Have been thinking of you and glad you got your scan and everything was clear. Great that with your next BFP you can just self refer there. I don't see any reason to wait if you feel happy to start again. Cant is right about increased fertility after mc - happened to me as well after both my mmc.

Giraffe - sounds like you're making the most of your week off :) Did you get any photos of SG and GC together?
How lovely to be able to support your NCT friend. I have to say I still think that if I ever go really pt at work then I'd like to look at being a BF counsellor too. (On that subject is anyone else still BFing? Someone asked me the other day when I stopped BF DS and I felt quite embarrassed saying I still was morning and evening )

Nat - I'm sorry I have no further advice for you re DS2. Was the meeting today? Have to say, your HV does sound amazing! Hope he continues to enjoy nursery.

Gruff - I just want to echo what the others have said. GC is at an age where he can entertain himself for a bit now and fine to allow him to do that whilst you look after yourself and the new little one :)

Hello Cant, tink, MMM and anyone else I've missed.

Maybe our next thread should title should be about a balancing act as it really is. As has been said I don't think there is a perfect answer between SAHM / working FT / working PT. I have days when I wonder how I can put O in nursery so many days and other times when I think it saves my sanity and makes me a better mum for the hours I do have with him. I'm so lucky though as on the whole he's such a happy, cheeky little chappy :)

Evening all!

So sorry Diege but you sound in good spirits and I don't think there is any harm in trying straight away. Go for it gal!

Gyo - Had a lovely afternoon with you guys! Was great to catch up after so long! OOOh it would be fab if you went 4 days - we could meet up much more :) (sorry not being pushy or anything

CANT/MMM Thanks for comments re sickness and neglecting GC!

NAT - I think your comments were for Gyo!
Re DLA I don't think you get chance to amend the form but if you are refused IRRC you get the right of appeal where you go to a panel of 3 or 4 people and present your case verbally. There is a lot of help available for filling in form/ preparing for appeal and general guidance to DLA on NAS website.

If you go down the statutory assessment route which by the sound of it you will be you should def read Code of Practice but also you can contact your local parent partnership people and they should have someone who will help you through the process, attend meetings with you, help you fill in forms and keep to the deadlines etc. I think it depends on your area but it is definitely worth contacting them for support when the time comes.

Hi to anyone Ive missed I am now having a chill as poor GC took a while to go to sleep tonight as he is really suffering with his cold and cough. Had to give him calpol and then he went down. I really hope he is ok tomorrow as I am working 8.30-11.30am. I am really hoping it warms up as not looking forward to an icy start. Brrr!

oooh hi Ses

sorry I think I took so long to post last post that I x-posted!

sorry to hear about porrlies.

GC just been up 10.30 - 12 midnight, so sad, and I can still hearing coughing and moaning in his sleep.

Im thinking another session missed at nursery tomorrow and more lost earnings for me. sometimes I wonder if its worth it!

Oh he has woken up again. more calpol I think! TTFN

morning

diege - good luck next time

hi ses - sorry for poorlys

Hello you lot!

My ears were burning on Monday .....something about smut hehehe

First of all though, DIEGE, I've just caught up with your rollercoaster of a couple of weeks and wanted to say how sorry I was :(
Positive thoughts for next month

Nat, what you want me for? Home Ed?

Hello to everyone, hope all's ok :)

So......smut and ridiculous sleb crushes hmmm, well I've only just discovered Robert Pattinson

Who knew there was something so delicious in this world that could give Mr Sorky a bloody good run for his money!!!

I feel simply dirty for thinking the thoughts I have recently, given he's only 24, but I'm sticking to my guns....what that 'boy' needs is an older woman sigh

It's been a bit of a shock to have a sleb crush tbh, I don't really 'do' sleb twaddle. I don't didn't understand the infatuation with someone you've never met

but then HOLY GUACAMOLE I saw <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=thebosh.com/upload/2010/06/30/robert_pattinson_admits_kristen_stewart_is_wonderful/robert-pattinson-gq.jpg&imgrefurl=thebosh.com/archives/2010/06/robert_pattinson_admits_kristen_stewart_is_wonderful.php&usg=__z9XQsW96TX6_uZZAN_6vV9aepgE=&h=596&w=437&sz=40&hl=en&start=21&zoom=1&tbnid=G2pQFEccB4EK4M:&tbnh=169&tbnw=126&prev=/images%3Fq%3Drobert%2Bpattinson%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1256%26bih%3D683%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=143&vpy=325&dur=401&hovh=198&hovw=145&tx=110&ty=237&ei=x8fjTPaVDdHQ4gaCgLWKBQ&oei=w8fjTJHhLuOAhAeFltTvDQ&esq=2&page=2&ndsp=21&ved=1t:429,r:7,s:21" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this

I could spread him on toast, honestly I could!!

I might have to bombard you all with CullenPorn

Hello :o

Giraffe/Gruff, I think the working v SAHM thing was just a general 'no one should feel guilty for doing what they think is best' thing! Sorry to have any confusion And I am glad you had a lovely afternoon together :)

Diege, hope it hasn't been too bad today at work :)

Tink, did you get all of your parcels? Have seen the FB pic of the slanket

Ses, sorry to hear about all the poorlies :( Hope you're all better now? The meeting was cancelled, I asked if we could delay it because DH wanted to be there as well, but he had a huge meeting down south on that day, HV was fine and tried to rearrange the guy from Portage but none of us could get a date together, so the guy from Portage has referred DS2 to the side of Portage that goes into his nursery rather than at home, they'll do their assessment of him there, and then we'll all have a get together once they've done their report.

Gruff, thanks for all of your advice, I did ring welfare rights before filling the DLA form in, on the advice of the HV, they just said to put as much down as possible, which I thought I had, but since I've found out just how much more is needed, and I've realised there are other things he does that is part of autism that I didn't even know. (Think that is one of the hardest things so far, he does things that we have laughed with him about, thinking he was genuinely being funny, but turns out he wasn't :() We have started the ball rolling on the statement, we've requested a formal assessment, just waiting to hear whether they give him one now. And I have the Parent Partnership contact details, will deffo give them a ring when we hit the brick wall!

Hope GC is a bit better today? And have been meaning to ask, how is your mum getting on? (sorry if I'm being nosey?)

Sorky, lol, knew it wouldn't take long But you can keep your Mr Pattinson in exchange for info please (see I'm kind like that!) (And what is it with you lot and long, floppy hair? And yes, I did say hair!) Anyway, serious subject matter ahead: It MIGHT get to the point where I have to Home Ed DS2, hopefully in the short term, where is the best place to get some very basic info about getting started, and who do I need to tell about it when it comes to crunch time? I am hoping his statment will be in in time for him starting school, in which case he can go to an ASD unit, but if it's not in time, there is no way I will let him go into mainstream wearing nappies and not being able to hold a pen, and without proper support. So my lovely, do you have any recommendations please?

Rain bloody rain, Tink, do they do a waterproof slanket that's still all snuggly and warm? (I'd have to buy 7, one for each day of the week!)

Ooh ok, um, I didn't know you had a child with ASD.

So are you asking for my HE advice or my professional paeds advice?

How old is he first? this matters if he's over 5yo.

All parents have responsibility for their childrens education in the UK. Whether you choose to allow the State to provide that education is entirely up to you, whether your child has a statement of Educational needs or otherwise.

Even if you chose State education, you remain responsible for your childs education.

So really your default is HE.

Statutory age for education is the Term after the child turns 5 years old, so if your Ds is 5 in the February, then you would need to ensure he receives an education from the beginning of the Easter term when he would be of 'statutory school age'.
There is no obligation for education before this point.

Currently, the law states that the education provided should be suitable to the childs needs and abilities, so you do not have to follow the National Curriculum, unless you want to of course.
We don't because it's too limited, mine follow what's called a "Classical Education".

We are known to the LEA, but you don't have to be. It maybe though that your engagement with local serices brings you into contact with professionals who will enquire about his provision, in which case you'd be better off just registering with the LA instead of wondering if/when you'll be contacted, but again, it's entirely up to yourself.

The first stop for most would-be HE'ers tends to be Education Otherwise (EO) which has a good website with a lot of info about the where's and what's of starting to HE. There are a number of good books out there regarding the many different Educational Philosophies people follow.

The HE section on MN is really good.

Very supportive, with most posters following an Autonomous approach (essentially child-interest-initiated education).

The section also has a couple of posts which are regularly bumped to the top on how to find other HE'ers in your area, what books are recommended, websites and how to go about HE'ing?

If you want any info on skills and development specifically, you can email me directly if you like. I work in this area in Mainstream and Special schools and have a private practice too.

hth

Re read post.

He's not at school yet? How far into the Statement process are you?

Ooooh, I didn't know you were a Paed :) Yes, DS2, HV came round about a month ago and hit us with it, he's been referred to the Paed, SALT, Portage and Ed Psych.

In answer to your questions, he'll be 5 in December 2011, so I'd need to have him either in the ASD unit or start HE by Jan 2012, is that right, I had forgotten about that actually, gives us a bit more time for the statement.

We have only just started the statement process, I requested a formal assessment about 3/4 weeks ago, they sent a(nother!) form for us to fill out as to why we want him assessing, so we've sent that back and are just waiting to hear what's next basically.

I think I should be able to get advice from his SENCo/Portage as to what activities etc. we can carry out once HE begins (if it begins). Should imagine it'll just be an extension on the things we do now.

Only tricky bit is going to be if the business is actually doing anything by then, but he comes first obviously.

I'll check that website out as well, I am really hoping the statement will be in place (but not holding my breath!) though I want to be prepared to HE if it isn't. Thanks for your advice Sorky :o

Sorry it is bugging me too much...

Ooooh, I didn't know you are a Paed :)

Much better, I don't usually go back and correct myself, but that was a biggie! (And shows how much this northern life is rubbing off on me, have resisted for 7 years, though now looks like it will out after all!)

Hmm statements are like hens teeth, with LA's being very reluctant to issue them at all.

The Ed Psych will be the predominant report they'll use. You would be well advised to ask for an OT assessment though. The 2 together should be able to present a case strong enough to determine what kind of provision will be suitable.

Iirc Statements are usually considered in December. Where I am at least all schools looking for pupil statements have to have everything submitted by mid-Dec or effectively wait another year.
Not sure what happens in North-west though. Or in fact if you'll have a cut off date with him not being in school.

Portage are fab btw :)

No worries, you know where I am if you need me x

Not a Paediatrician, God I wish I were paid as much

I'm far more important than those useless beggars

It is my 'speciality' though. Not many people do know because I worry about outing myself etc

Hmm, have been reading lots about OT, I was kind of thinking asking the HV about it, but, I'm a wuss and she has been absolutely fantastic, she had the CAF form done in 4 days, but she is very much, urm, trying to find a nice word to sumerise... well, she has described herself as the "cog in the middle, everyone will report back to me", and I don't want her to think I am trying to step on her toes, or telling her how to do her job etc. and then her giving up the go! Does that make sense?

I think we may have missed out on the better side of Portage, he was initially referred to the side that come to the house to do the PT, but now he's started nursery, they have referred him to the side that go into his nursery, from what I've read this isn't always as effective?

We are still waiting to hear anything from the Ed Psych, SALT have contacted to say he's on the list but it will be at least 4 months before he's seen, Portage as above, but the Paed and the Ed Psych AFAIK haven't been in touch, though they are making noises somewhere because the nursery SENCo mentioned she'd had contact with them about DS2.

My email is [email protected] if there was anything you wanted to say away from MN BTW. I must have mis-read something about you being a Paed .

Thank you - again, between reading shed loads, you, Gruff, MN and the HV I am starting to feel the mud we're wading through turning a bit less solidified. So much 'stuff' to remember, t'is like trying to teach yourself a new language off the back of a corn flake box, little bits of info at a time, and just when you think you've got a grip on a part of it, something happens and you realise you've whole new side of the box to de-code.

Sorry everyone I seem to have taken over the board this afternoon

You're all saved, I have to go and get DS1 from school now, I will be back, but promise to not bang on (and on and on) again! (at least not today anyway!!)

If they've called a CAF you are heading in the right direction because all the people involved in his care will be invited and generally all will attend.

OT's tend to have waiting lists (same as SALT's and EP's really) so I'd just ask her if she thinks it would be prudent to refer now.
She won't be offended I promise.

Just say you heard from a friend that they could look at his sensory needs (never met a child yet with ASD who didn't have some sensory needs)
Or wait until the CAF, someone will ask why the OT hasn't been referred to
It's better to refer earlier than later when dealing with ASD in my humble experience.

What a bombshell to have dropped on you, especially if you didn't know/suspect iyswim.
I totally get the cereal packet analogy, very true.

Please don't feel guilty that you thought he was funny and didn't see it.

The most important thing is, he's your son.

Nobody else knows him better than you do.

Others can offer advice based on experience, but we do not walk in your shoes.

You know him best, you love him most, you will know what he needs. That should be respected at all times.

Ok, one more bang, many apologies but would be rude not to now! I will shut up soon!!

It wasn't a complete bolt out of the blue, we had a 'welcome to your new area and HV' visit (y'know, only 12 months after we moved! ) anyway, I'd had some issues about him that I bought up with her, and even though she'd only been here a half hour or so, she had picked up on a few things herself (apparently she used to be a Paed), and eventually I managed to get her to say what she was thinking i.e. ASD. TBH I was expecting her to say something but Autism hadn't really crossed my mind, I was completely ignorant of ASD, had no idea of what it really meant, so spent the next few days in a state of shock I think, couldn't take anything in properly except the bad things etc. but like I said, slowly but surely I am starting to pick it all apart and put it back together in bite size bits.

So far, everyone we have met/spoken with that is involved with his care have been really good, well except the SENCo, but mostly the HV has just been amazing, compared to what I've read on here and elsewhere about what some people have to go through to get the referrals etc. she has been really good, she came for the 'welcome to your new area and HV' meeting on the Monday, she dropped by or rang every day just to check we were OK and if we had any questions, on the Friday she came for us to sign the CAF form, she'd done all the referrals, asked for a bit of insider knowledge on which nursery would be best for him, the only time she has faultered was when we said we were asking for the SA, she seemed a bit flustered, and said the Ed Psych does all of that, but then the next day she came round and was pushing us to do it. I think she didn't know too much about parent's doing it, so was trying to cover her arse, but the fact she obviously went away, found out and then came back to put our minds at rest made it all OK!

So now we are just up against the SENCo, she says she can't see anything wrong with him and a bit of SALT will sort him out HV, once again, to the rescue, she's basically said that the SENCo is talking rubbish and not to worry about her opinions affecting anything because she is only one piece of the jigsaw that will make up his care team.

nat

sorky - save me some
i am reading twilight books @ the mo

hi nat yes i received my slanket, caterpillar taggy and monster blocks just waiting for violet dog

also recieved our new computer desk
have need one for a while our current one is far too small!!
it is an early xmas pressy from my parents

so excited about girls swapping rooms luv buying new bits
my mum is over mon/tues to pain over green walls in dd2s room having a medium pink
have ordered next bedding sets for dd1 pink ones, a cat picand matching cushion
for xmas parents going to buy dd1 pink next bedsets and sheets for when she goes into her bed

he's mine Tink, all mine

We're just ironing out the 'open relationship' details, then he's dumping that wooden plank of a lass and sweeping me off my feet.

Dh is fine with this plan he doesn't actually know

I read the books after a friend declared she was 'Team Edward'....I had no idea what this meant or indeed who he was, until she sent me a picture!
I thought they were crap, then I reread them and liked them a bit better. It's not exactly Thomas Hardy, but it passed a rainy weekend nicely

Might see if someone has the films. I think I should see some of his acting, I don't want him thinking I'm just after sex
Is he any good? Acting-wise...

Sorky - personally I've never seen the attraction and I did watch the first Twilight film and didn't really find it compelling viewing at all. Probably just me though.... I have strange taste in men ( just look at DH )
At the top of my list would be John Inverdale, Sting, David Beckham, David Tennant, Howard from Take That and Morten Harket from a-ha (even after all these years!)

Tink - loving the cow print slanket :)

Nat - don't worry about "taking over". I'm glad there's a couple of people on here that can help a bit. All I would say is don't worry about stepping on HV's toes. If she's as good as she sounds, I'm sure she'll realise you've just got DS2's best interests at heart.

Diege - hope you're not too exhausted after your full on day and can take the opportunity to chill a bit wfh tomorrow.

Gruff - hope GC slept ok for the rest of the night. Did you cancel work today in the end?

Hello everyone else!

I'm feeling a lot better today but still v bunged up. All day meeting tomorrow so hope I sound a bit more me for that and things clear overnight! DS is definitely back to his usual happy, cheeky self and we had a lovely day :)