December 2010: no, it's not an autumn pumpkin up my jumper ...

[Miffster]

...and we're gliding towards the third trimester, draped in suitably flowing attire.

Has anyone told work when they are planning on leaving? how many weeks do you plan to leave at?

I'm 27 weeks today and feeling pretty miserable today due to back and sactral (spelling?)pain. Had to have a bath at 11.30pm last night as I was so uncomfortable I'm such a whinger.

Hey there...

I have told work. Basically I am leaving 3 (37w) weeks before my EDD, so 19th Nov will be my last day but I am including 2 weeks holiday so maternity leave won't officially start until the week before my EDD.

I wanted to save as much of my maternity leave for after the baby is born.

Can you get signed off as sick?

You should be able to get signed off sick and not affect your Maternity leave ( depending how long you have worked for them). My GP signed me off with stress during pg #3,so didn't even have physical symptoms.

Hello all, I am missing out on checking MN since busy at work and everytime I come back there are pages and pages to catch up... pooh...

DF your bump looks lovely... at your boobs being a reasonable size...

C&G hope you had lovely wedding. The weather was nice and I was thinking about you...

Came back from MW 28 wks check up, which went eventless. I want to get a growth scan but they don't offer it to me as my bump measures exactly 28 cm. I am secretly wishing that they would find a reason to check me up a bit but MWs and GP don't get impressed with my worries and seem to think I am super low risk. Which is good but I do want to see how big my girl is!!

I spent the wknd trying different pushchairs. I love cameleon but refuse to pay that much for a pram. Just not happening. My cousin had the Stokke and hates it due to being bulky and heavy; so that's out. Bee is nice to handle but sitting a bit too low. I couldn't manage to close Quinny ones and can't believe anyone will buy them when they are so hard to close/handle. Mothercare My3 and My4 were too heavy for me to raise high enough to put in car boot (13 and 14 kgs). So considering what we want (parent facing, use from birth, adaptable to MaxiCosi Cabriofix, not more than 10 kg), there are two options left: The Bee and Mamas and Pappas Sola! Has anyone tried or heard about the Sola? Aparently it is built on Bee's design and is not as light (Bee=7.5kg Sola=9 something kg) but is half price!!! tempting... any comments are really appreciated...

Thanks all, appointment was a complete waste of time. After asking me what I was doing there consultant basically said well if you're happy to try for a vbac then I'll see you nearer your due date. Bye. On the upside, DH is a bit more aware now and I've threatened him with death if he doesn't 'remember' to come to the next appointment. I really want a vbac - my last birth experience was so horrible, disempowering, long, demoralising, I could go on and on.... this time I want to do all I can to have a positive experience and for me, that's a vbac.

I'm due NYE so I have to start my mat leave on boxing day but I've booked the 2 weeks off before that as a/l so will finish mid december (you'd think I'd know the date wouldn't you!)

DF you can get signed off sick but I think if you get signed off with a pg related illness in the later stages, your employer can make you start maternity leave (if that makes sense?)

Hi all and thanks for all the congrats :)

Hettiew - I really enjoyed the GDL - it is (on the whole) pretty interesting stuff :), whether you can do it with a 9 month baby I don't know as this is my first baby so no experience of studying and children! I did mine part time over 2 years so I did 2 evenings a week (3hrs each) and I worked full time throughout. People go on about how much work it is but I really didn't find it too bad (I managed just attending classes then revising near the exams, tbh I didn't do too much studying outside classes during term time ), I think the one year course would be pretty intense though as it is 8 different subjects. Do you intend to do full or part time and will you be working too? Also, what is your first degree in? One of my class mates had a 3yr old and a 1yr old and she did ok, she didn't work though.
I am still considering starting the LPC next year when my LO will be 9 months and the main thing putting me off is the cost as I think i'll try for a second baby fairly soon after this one so it seems silly to get in to debt then not use the course for a few years. Sorry not much advice in all that rambling!!

df we are edd and start of maternity leave twins :) roll on 19th November!! also had a worrying day with not too much baby movements but it seems to be wriggly again now - must have just been a bit sleepy - I wish i could sleep all morning too :)

lavita I think you are meant to tell your employer when you want to start maternity leave 15 weeks before your due date (so around 25 weeks) god knows how anyone is meant to know at that point how they will feel nearer the time!

ff sorry for denseness but what is vbac? if its too complicated just say and I'll go and look it up :)

oops I men maxpower whats a vbac

vaginal birth after caesarean

I finish up on 22nd October! Hooorray! Will be about 35 weeks. The first 2 weeks is holiday and then mat leave kicks in. I worked up until 39 wks with DS1 (he was 5 days late) and left work at 38 weeks with DS2.. He was 2 weeks early so only had about 2 or 3 days to myself before he was born! not making the same mistake again, hence the big gap... Loads of time (I hope!) to spend with my big boys and get stuff done in the house... really can't wait.

You can get signed off sick as long as non-preg related but if related and for a significant period of time (I forget the amount of time) then the company can get ytou to start amt leave early... You company policy should be able to guide you??

Pjen - Have you had a 4d scan? Can't remember... Sounds like you'd enjoy one / Have you looked at the i-candy cherry? Might be a bit heavier than 10kg though?

Lavita - sorry you're not feeling great - you're not whingy at all! Thats what these ante-natal threads are great for!

Maxpower - Shame the appt was not more informative but at least they seem supportive of a VBAC

maxpower sorry your appointment was disappointing and hope you can get the answers and reassurance you want.

lavita I really sympathise with you. It was my first day back today after my holiday and by 3.00 I was so uncomfortable with pelvic pain. I had to ask my line manager to take 4.00 meeting and left. Luckily DD was happy to watch cbeebies whilst I lay on the sofa until DH came home. I've had a conversation with work today to say I need to start working at home much more or I will end up getting signed off sick as I simply can't sit at my desk. I am hoping I get some joy with the physio tomorrow.

I originally told work I wanted mat leave to start at beginning of Dec (EDD 17th), but taking 2 weeks leave before so would be leaving at 36 weeks on 11th or 12th Nov. Depends what happens in terms of how comfortable I'm feeling.

Took cat to vets today and he needs some teeth out so bill for about £300 coming our way. As he is so old and they detected a heart murmur he needs some tests first to check he can be anaesthetised safely. Felt slightly teary in the vets when she said about his heart murmur - stupid pg hormones. Mind you, I'm now feeling teary at the thought of the bill!

Maxpower sorry about the consultant being a bit rubbish.

Lavitabella sorry about the pain.

I am stressing about DH having totally failed to stop smoking despite endlessly saying he would.

Also narked at being asked to do stupid and entirely pointless work thing necessitating hours and hours of going through figures and data crunching because apparently everyone on the floor has to go through their appraisals and explain why they have not met all their objectives and what they are going to do about it between Oct and Dec as part of a giant witch hunt into why the floor has missed various targets.

I just do not care any more. As of next week I will only have 23 more days to work there, before I go on mat leave, never to return ( I have started working Mon-Thurs only). Therefore me doing this exercise is entirely pointless, not least because my job is being discontinued in my absence because the account I am supposed to develop/manage have now ceased trading with my company after a giant row with someone at board level!

On the upside, I have won a JoJo Maman winter cooat for 21.66GBP on ebay.

Just a note about mnaternity leave. I wrote to my HR dept today to officially give them my maternity dates. I actually have 13 weeks until my EDD but they say it was ok that I am late as it's the fault of my boss for not sorting it out sooner. Anyway, while I was writing my letter I looked at templates online and it was suggested that I put 'Barring any unforseen circumstances I plan to start my maternity leave on...' as this leaves it open to change. I also said that I planned to come back on a certain date but that I would discuss this in person with my manager nearer to the date. Apparently you should use the words 'planning' and 'plan' rather than saying definite dates.

miffster I saw your thread about the smoking. I hope he does manage to stop
I was a smoker but managed to stop before I got pregnant. I am a bit worried about my BIL and MIL as they both smoke.

Wholelottalove so sorry to hear about your cat. Mine died while I was going through fertility treatment and it was really sad. I am currently planning the kidnap of one of the many cats who sit in my garden So far I have managed to get one in the house but I think he realises what I am trying to do so only stays for a short time

Kittybump yay for being EDD and maternity twins. I am hoping my baby is late for various reasons.

maxpower sorry to hear the appointment was rubbish

Cheers DF.

BBC3 'Cherry has a baby is on now', anyone going to watch it?

A 33 week pregnant reporter taoks to several different mums to be inc. a 15 year old and an older mum re. when is perfect time to be a mum, plus BIRTH!

oh bugger, I've just started watching 'who do you think you are' with Allan Cumming. I think he's a cutie.

I watch the baby thing on Catch-up.

miffster at your DH on your behalf. I mean, seriously, you're growing an entire new person and he can't be bothered to stop smoking. Outrageous. But congrats on the coat!

thanks to everyone for your commiserations. I've bored myself going on about things today so will try to focus on other things for now . chooster you're absolutely right, the one thing I did come away with was the fact that they don't seem to care one way or the other, so hopefully that will pave the way for me getting things my own way

I was clearing some crap out of what will be my DD's new bedroom and unearthed a box full of old letters from friends and ex's. Had a lovely time reminiscing and pmsl at old in jokes. Makes me think it's a bit of a shame that we live in such an e-world now.

awww lavita too bad you are having pain. I have lower back pain and sciatic pain in my bum cheeck too and can only imagine that yours is even worse with twins... :( swimming helps but to be honest it is hard to find the time... Thanks chooster haven't checked the icandy to be honest. Will do so next time around when I go pram shopping.

Does anyone expect their DP/DH to buy them a small but thoughtful gift for giving birth? I am worried that my DH will forget or not manage to get anything due to being busy with work... I am so grumpy with him already as I am SURE he will not manage without my help. My mom always showed me this beautiful lovely ring that my dad brought to her bed when she gave birth to me. My dad is such a romantiker and as a kid I always loved the ring as it was "my ring" my dad also gave flowers to my mom on our birthdays to thank her for giving birth to us. My birthday is in two days and I am absolutely sure that DH has no gift as he is NOW trying to find out what I like!!! I haven't got anything for Xmas or our first anniversary as he was busy with work. I will kick his ass if he doesn't manage my Bday in a serious way! Don't care about the value of the gift, don't get me wrong, we have same account so it is not about money... it is about him actually taking time to think what would make me happy!!! My hormones are up and I am at him and he is watching sports... grrrrrr

Aw I like the idea of a small and thoughtful gift for giving birth PJ...In the absence of an OH I'm going to drop hints to my mum :-)

I am hoping I get soft cheese and a bottle of wine in the hospital :D

Had a bad headache since yesterday.

Have not been seen by a midwife since 16th June. Had 20 week scan but that was a sonographer not a midwife.

Thankfully I persuaded GP to check B/P and fetal heartrate when I went to get fit to fly letter at 20 weeks, at the end of July, and have not been seen by a healthcare professional since, which I am a bit fed up about.

My community midwife is off on long term sick. Nobody rang me back when I was promised a call from the consuktant midwife.
Nobody has ever measured my bump. Nobody from the home birth team has been in contact. My b/p could have been creeping up for weeks and I wouldn't know. I'm 39 and my mum died fo a stroke, suddenly, at 63 so there is an element of needing to keep an eye on me, I should have thought. I made an appointment for this Friday with a new midwife covering for the one off sick but the headache means I am now scared and don't want to wait that long.

Am therefore leaving work in an hour to visit antenatal clinic for emergency blood pressure and urine tests in case I have pre-eclampsia.
Hopefully it is nothing.

But I am feeling really fed up and angry and weepy because I am worried now.

Am even worrying about whether I should pack a hospital bag just in case the worst happens as nothing is packed in a bag, although it is all assembled in various drawers round the house.

OH is at the dentist having root canal work this afternoon. Please tell me there is nothing to worry about and I am being silly and they are not going to keep me in and have an emergency cesearean!
( Damn you, internet!)

(For some reason I think writing down the worst case scenario means it now won't happen!)

Wahay df and kittybump! I'm starting mat leave on Nov 19th too! I'm due on December 9th though, so I'm not quite your EDD triplet... The first two weeks of what I'm calling mat leave is also made up of holiday I've saved up, so don't 'officially' start maternity till pretty much my due date.

kittybump I'd be doing the full time course, but I'm planning to get the text books etc as soon as I start mat leave, so I can swot up a bit while mopping baby sick and in night time feeds. So in a way, I'll have a nine month head start... Or is that wishful thinking?

Have any of the veteran mums on this thread tried studying with a small baby? If so I'd be really grateful for any tips/advice/general experiences... A little worried it might be a bit much.

miffster sending you hugs - it's horrible when you're left feeling forgotten about by midwives etc. You're doing the right thing by getting yourself checked out and I really hope everything is ok.

kittybump I never tried studying with a small baby but a fb friend of mine is managing to do a masters at the same time as having a newborn. I would imagine from my last experience that it is doable as babies tend to sleep quite a lot which means you can study then. It would definitely be easier than if you had an 18mo!

lol at the gifts - my DH would never think of something like that in a million years! I kind of hoped he'd get me something when I had DD but he didn't, so I'm under no illusions this time. Your dad sounds like a real romantic pjen - what a lovely thing to do.

hettiew I cannot speak from personal experience, but I do know people who have had to study with babies/small children.

Generally they were very stressed and housework had to take a complete back seat. They needed all the help they could get and took full advantage of any college childcare places.As they were at college with a lot of young people without kids, one lass used to get nasty comments 'cos of her state of dress. It wasn't important to her. Some things have to be let go. And the other used to hand in essays covered with coloured crayon. The college never seemed to mind. They are both now qualified lawyers and the former is a barrister. It is worth the hard graft in the long run.

As a mum if you want my tip it would be allow as much time as you can to enjoy your baby, and get out the house. Take as much time out as the course will allow and pursue all avenues of childcare. Since I had my first my short term memory is shot to pieces so I would also say, do lots of revising the same day, and get a study buddy to regularly test you to improve your recall.

Best of luck.

pJen I am still in awe of your mama-earth fertility-goddess norkage. Enjoy the full effects of their power, I say!

I am not expecting any gift for giving birth,but it is nice if DP remembers to make some kind of acknowledgement. I am not generally bothered about such things, but when I did not even get a card for my very first Mothers Day I was pissed off and have never really forgiven him 15 years later.

Having said that, he went out and bought a tree which gives pink flowers when our DD was born and that is a constant reminder of that special day for both of us. We are both gutted it has to go when our extension gets built.

hi everyone just dropping in, I find it really hard concentrating and this thread moves so fast!

max sorry your consultant was cr*p. They really just don't think beyond the physical sometimes and that we need FACTS! and to be nurtured a little. I had a VBAC (after emcs with DS1) 3 1/2 years apart, absolutely no problems whatsoever.

PJen I will just be glad if DH manages to 'coach' me with the g&a! Agree that your Dad sounds lovely!

miffster how is your headache now, were they able to reassure you at the clinic today? I know what you mean about not seeing anyone, I hadn't seen a midwife from 15 weeks until 28 week appointment yesterday, its a bit of a lonely place when no-ones checking you. And grr about OH's smoking - my MIL used to smoke around me when I was pregnant first time (in the car was worst) and I hated it.

ff if you wait a little while till your tree starts to 'hibernate' you could probably move it successfully, just keep it well watered next year.

Hope everyone else is well.

Lavitabella I've saved up as much Annual Leave and Time off in Lieu of working a couple of weekends and late nights to have 6 weeks before my EDD. So I'm off on the 29th October, 6 weeks time when I'll be 34 weeks. I can't wait. I'm getting fed up with the non-pregnancy people telling me to exercise it out or take some pain relief. grrr. They also ask me to do things that are so easy but complete agony. Like picking up some forms off the floor. Leaning over desks to help applicants complete the registration portal. I've got physio on Thursday and really hope they'll give me something to pass back to work.

I had a health and safety check of my desk six months ago, which was a waste of time. When they were asked to come back, they gave me a link to the RoSPA website to DIY. The outcome of the last review was to raise my desk, which is too low, their response was to lower my chair, which would make my back ache even more. Seeing as I've 6 weeks left if it gets unbearable I'll go to the docs and see about getting signed off.

Daft question, is self certifying the same as getting signed off? I've only self certified the once, work were a bit peculiar about it, didn't know if it'll be the same thing.