December 2010: no, it's not an autumn pumpkin up my jumper ...

[Miffster]

...and we're gliding towards the third trimester, draped in suitably flowing attire.

Ooh lovely scan pictures laurenamium

I saw from your profile that you are a library assistant me too, I was given a new title of Information researcher a few years ago, though I am essentially a librarian.

thanks df yes I havnt been given a new name yet but Im sure I will once the coucils finished reorganising everyone!

Our 4d scan was amazing! We have loads of great pics, quite a long dvd, and we still have a surprise baby! Baby was very good for us, chewing on umbilical cord and had it's eyes open for quite a while. Can't wait 'til Dec to compare real baby with the scan pic!

scan pics

Congratulations for today C&G I
Hope you have a wonderful day!

Is anyone else here, who hasn't found out the sex, getting fed up with other people guessing? I am starting to feel annoyed that people think it'll be a boy. Not just that but people with December babies want it born on their birthday! Perhaps it's just pregnancy hormones but I get really fed up and want to say 'it'll bloody well arrive on its own birthday thank you!'

Hi everyone. Back from our holiday, had a lovely time although six hours in car with a 2 year old and pelvic pain/need to wee every 5 mins was a bit tricky. DD was a star though and we had a great time. We couldn't do quite a few of the things we'd hoped to do as I really couldn't walk far but it was so nice to get away. Came home to a dirty house and mound of washing though.

Have just caught up with everyone, but too much to respond to individually. Just wanted to say congrats to C&G and hope you had a good day.

In terms of birth plans and pain relief I had a plan first time around, but didn't stick to it. I found the process helpful and will do it again this time with my doula. DH wasn't too great at advocating for me, which is one reason we're having a doula to support us both this time. The only thing I really don't want this time is pethidine - mainly as it did nothing for my pain, made me sick and made DD very sleepy and hard to feed which didn't help as she got jaundiced. OTOH it did apparently help to speed up my long back labour as it relaxed me a bit and my waters went which kick started my proper labour after approx 30 hours of latent labour. DD was born about 4 hrs later. Wouldn't rule out epi this time although didn't get one last time.

I am now 26+1 and symptoms are:

• Quite bad pelvic pain when sitting, walking, in bed - keeping me up at night and walking longer than a few minutes now getting v sore meaning I am waddling.
• Heartburn kicking in now
• Outy belly button, but no new stretchmarks yet *Bigger boobs and weight gain from 9 st 10 to about 11 st *Tiredness but not as overwhelming as in 1st trimester - though that may change when I go back to work!

I am seeing physio on Tues and hoping they can tell whether I have SPD or something else and give me some help with it as I am finding it is beginning to limit the things I can do. I am dreading work on Monday and having to sit in an office chair all day.

DF funnily, most people aren't really speculating about the sex here, but I have now had TWO family members tell me it's selfish not to find out as they won't know what colour clothes to buy the baby and it will be hard for them so close to Xmas to go out and buy something. No real response to that other than FFS

Congratulations Kittybump! You must feel very proud . And congratulations as well C&G - hope you've all had an amazing day - love to see the pictures! . You all deservce a nice happy day.

WWSB - I really sympathise about work... I'm an IT project manager and working in the midst of a huge IT integation period since the bank I work for was taken over last year. The work load is immense and the expectation is you just work and work until you've done everythihng you need to do. Not bad if you're single and no kids but not great for a pregnant mum of 2 kids.

I can also sympathise Miffster - days dragging by with not enough to do is very de-moralising.

How are you crazycat? Did you go to the hospital / midwife? Hope all is well and you're doing much better?

I think your size is perfect and neat DF - really you look exactly as you should for 27wks... And dont let all those comments get you down. It will be a bit of pregnancy hormones playing tricks and you're right the LO will be here when its here - and the baby will be wonderful whether boy or girl . I'm having similar moments myself as well as I get a bit narked when people ask if I know the gender (and we say no - nobody knows we know) and they say "ah, you'll be wanting a girl then" once they know I have 2 boys already. Mmm, actually no I dont particularly want a girl - I' d love a healthy happy baby. I almost feel its a dis-service to my boys that I wouldn't be ecstatic to have another just like them, which is how I do feel... but then I realise I'm being over-sensitive and try to smile .

Phew - am sure I've missed lots out but really want to see some x-factor once DS1 is popped to bed... not got long.

Aah - all is peaceful here. DD1 asleep in bed, dog snoring on sofa and DH off camping on his own! Couldn't face the final Landrover show of the season so bailed out
Spent the day shoping with DD1 for her birthday presents (5 on tuesday!) and last bits for school - things DH had forgotten because they are girly e.g ribbons for hair, decent school bag and new water bottle for snack time - he would have sent her with all her pens etc in her PE bag and a re-used water bottle! Can't have that on first day

also finally made the effort to go and get my phone sorted - have had a Blackberry for ages and it is pants - signal is awful in the house even though all other products using that network are fine - managed to get a free iphone4 3 months before I am due an upgrade plus changing my DH onto my old contract so he can have a new phone in Dec when i was due to change. Have to admit I really must have had pregnancy brain as I had to get the assistant to explain about 4 times what she was planning to offer as an upgrade! I kept saying - I'm not normally this stupid

I really hope C&G has had a lovely day and that everyoe else is enjoying the weekend.

Crazykat Are you OK? Please let us know what is going on if you are able to!

Hi, lovely to see all the beautiful scan pics of proper little babies now.

kc hope everything is ok

Congratulations kittybump what an achievement

Hope yesterday was wonderful c&g

All seems to be going pretty smoothly here, I'm not very big but agreed with mw that we'll check at 28 weeks and see if I need a growth scan. Since dd was iugr I feel pretty relaxed about if that is the case again as at least I know what to expect and it wasn't really a big deal.

Not being big has its advantages, went on a very exciting visit to the Olympic park this week and got to go up to the very top of the aquatics centre which was amazing. Don't think that would have been allowed if the site team had realized I was pregnant! I am not generally running around climbing up ladders I hasten to add but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

I am feeling pretty upbeat at the moment as there is a reasonable chance we will be able to move before LO arrives but trying not to get my hopes up after our catalogue of disasters earlier in the year with that.

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend.

Morning all - so much for my confidence last night of a good nights sleep! DD got into our bed at 0315 and promptly fell straight back to sleep but bump decided to wake up then and play rugby for 2 hours! Finally got back to sleep just as DD woke properly for the day and decided she was going to play with the cat on Mummy and Daddy's bed

Would anyone like to adopt an almost 5 yr old little girl? - birthday presents already purchased and available at a small cost

Would just like to add my congratulations to C&G and kittybump.

DF it is great you are sailing through pregnancy - I think people don't tell you that it can be relatively easy and enjoyable, with very minor niggles. Your bump looks perfect!

MrsS I will swap you for a 5 year old boy who is a good sleeper and nearly always cheerful and enthusiastic but also LOUD and BOISTEROUS and NOISY.

I am getting regular kickboxing sessions now, not painful but keeping me awake after I get up for a drink and bathroom visit in the night, sometimes for up to 2hours! My bump is starting to press on my ribcage, but I am getting quite fond of it and will miss it in a way when baby is born.

I have decided to blow my Child Benefit money this month on getting a 4D scan done, you have all sold me on it!

Hi all, I ment to post earlier but haven't had chance. I phoned NHS direct and they said it's probably just the way the baby is lying and as I was getting plenty of kicks and movement to see how it goes. I'm going to phone the doctors this morning as we have a triage every morning and they'll tell me if they think I need to be seen.

I feel for you MrsS I've felt like swapping my two once or twice last week. DD is in the middle of terrible twos and DS is getting them early I think. Usually they play nice but somethimes they'll wind each other up and spend an hour or two squealing at the top of their voice. It's lovely when they go to bed!

hello everyone, and happy monday... I'm SO jealous of all the 4-scans and plans.

Mentioned to DH that lots of you lot were having them in the hope that he'd get enthusiastic and suggest we had one too. Unfortunately, he's firmly in the 'leaving these things to fate' and 'think of the surprise on the day' camp.

Leaving the amazing bliss of seeing the baby aside, are there any medical benefits to getting one? Are they any more likely to spot potential problems than they were at the ordinary 20 week scan? I think that's the only chance I have of persuading DH it's a good idea!

Oh, and quick question for kittybump - I'm due to start by GDL law conversion course in September, when the LO will be about 9 months... Do you think it'll be manageable?

crazycat let us know how you get on, but pleased to hear they were able to offer you some reassurance.

Working from home today (yay - no commuting!) as I have a (scary) VBAC clinic appointment at lunchtime. Bit annoyed as I'd specifically asked DH if he could try avoid working today so he could come with me as I fear I'm going to go to pieces, but he 'didn't know when it was' despite the fact that it's been written on our calendar for over 2 months and he's consequently got a shift today - the only one he's working all week

I really don't think he gets how terrified I am of going through what happened last time again, partly my fault as I've not really discussed it in detail with him since finding out I'm pg, but if I do, I'll break down and probably terrify him about my mental state so I feel a bit like I can't win. Another factor is that a couple of years ago, he suffered with depression and ever since, I've been overly conscious of not burdening him with additional stress. He's much much better now but I guess I just think I'd rather deal with my own stress instead of sharing it with him and then having the additional worry of how he'll cope with it. Sorry for the downbeat post this morning. Hope everyone else is having a happier start to their week - I shall make an effort to cheer up, promise.

max I just wanted to say I get where you are coming from, my DH had depression a few years ago as well. If he is better now though, and getting treatment, I don't see why he should not support you more emotionally. Personally, I think breaking down in floods and letting it all out is good and even necessary? Sorry to be trite, but it is a bit like when everyone in the house has flu, you have to take turns being ill.

If you really can't speak to him, vent here by all means and don't worry about being downbeat :)

Do you have anyone else to go with? Do you want a VBAC or is an elective less scary?

If DH can't support you would you consider a doula?

thanks ff I know you're talking sense, I just need to have a bit of faith in him that he won't go to pieces.

I really do want a vbac - the only way I'd go for an elective is if it was needed to make sure the baby is ok.

Luckily for my family and friends, they all had straightforward deliveries so none of them really have an understanding of what happened to me or what it felt like. I think they just assume that it wasn't that big a deal and I got over it ages ago. I know I wouldn't want a doula - DH is who I want.

max you have probably left for your appt now but good luck anyway.

It is so like a depressed person to avoid stressful situations or feel numb and appear disinterested. He may also feel useless and not needed so distancing himself?

Families don't really get it- mine all think I'm a nutjob 'cos I have had homebirths. I think the favourite line is "as long as you're both healthy that's all that matters". Yes, ultimately, but birth is such an intense experience it can stay with you a lifetime- you really don't need something gnawing away at you.

I know someone who had PTSD after her first child.It helped her immensely to go through her notes with a trained midwife who understood such problems, and figure out why things happened the way they did (in her case psychological),she had counselling which helped a lot too.

The doula I have been in touch with also offers a support/ education service for both partners- teaching massage techniques etc even if you do not want her at the birth. I think this or similar would be really helpful to a Dad who is unsure of his ability to cope or who has been disempowered by the medical process in the past.

ff I'm setting off in a minute. By coincidence, DH rang me after my last post and I blubbed down the phone at him.

I'm assuming I'll get some clear explanation today about exactly what happened last time round. AFAIK it was all physiological but there has always been conflicting information in my labour notes from last time about the reason an emcs was needed.

DH coped brilliantly when I was in labour with DD so I have no doubt about his ability to manage on the day. I'm normally a very emotionally strong person so I think that he just doesn't get that I really need some support now (and will no doubt continue to until this one arrives!) Interestingly he's since trained as a paramedic so this time round, he has a more medical knowledge of what's supposed to happen than last time round. A lasting issue for me was that I didn't feel he advocated very well for me last time and I'm anxious that this will be a more challenging environment for me to get my own way and I'll be even more reliant on him to speak up for me, which he didn't do last time. Having said all that, I don't blame him for it because I can totally understand why it was difficult for him. I did talk to him about that after DD was born, how I felt I needed him to have advocated for me more. But I think that's one of the reasons I really wanted him to come with me today - how can he advocate if he doesn't know the deal? However, I'm also hoping that now he works in a clinical field, he'll have more confidence in speaking up. I guess only time will tell.

Hope your appt goes well Maxpower - have you had a VBAC before or was you bad experience as a result of an emergency c-section?

Hope the appointment is ok maxPower and good luck at the doctors crazycat

I am not getting a lot of kicking during the day and it's starting to worry me, but I wonder if it's just that I do a lot less lazing about in the day. The movements I do get are very low down and more like the bubbly feelings I was getting at 18/19 weeks.

I do get a lot more movement in the evening though.

DF how is it if you have something sugary to eat/drink and put your feet up for a short while?

Ah - as soon as I posted this I got a few swift kicks.

:0 welcome to a lifetime of worry :0

Duh that should be