December 2010, where we waft about in mat gear eating icecream

[Miffster]

Yo December 2010 ladies, here we go - the mid-point of our pregnancies...and beyond!

I am making up for lost time today after recent neglect of this thread if you haven't noticed.

PJEN and Lavitabellissima, can I just confirm our plans for Saturday at Costa in Richmond (next to station)? Was it 4:00?

I used to use mumsnet occasionally 4 years ago when I was first pregnant, but haven't really been on here actively since then. I have two children, no more planned. I was browsing through active posts & your comment provoked some thought. I assumed it was ok to comment without being on the thread before. I'm sorry if I barged straight in & upset anyone with my opinion.

Strix I am fine with 4 PM this saturday. How do I recognize you? Will you put a rose between a book in front of you?

buzzin I am not upset, honest. Just paranoid

gulp. Makes me realise how these paces really aren't that anonymous and anyone I know could be reading.

sorry to derail the thread folks.

DF be as selfish as you want with the first few weeks - you only get them once. DH had 2 weeks paternity leave and we had visitors every single day. They weren't hard work, but in hindsight, I wish we'd had a bit of quiet time with just the 3 of us.

Had scan this morning and all is fine. VEry laid back baby with hands above head the whole time, measuring at 21 1/2 weeks, so a week ahead. Hoping that means it will be coming a bit earlier than my due date rather than the baby is going to be ginormous! We didn't find out the sex, but we did both see something which suggests it may well be a little boy, but not sure. Part of me is now regretting not finding out, but I am so excited I don't think it will matter.

I really sympathise with those of you who are worried about visitors. I'm lucky that most of my family is nearby and wouldn't want to sta. The ones who are further away have plenty of alternative places to stay. I would definitely not want overnight visitors in the early days.

My main issue is MIL does tend to stay, and stay... with DD there was one day that despite repeated hints she was here until 10.00 in the evening, we had to give her dinner and she didn't do any clearing up or anything like that and in fact stayed all through other people coming and going in our v small living room. She did the same thing to SIL. I have told DH under now circumstances is that to happen again this time, especially as she lives v close so no excuse.

We are also going to say to everyone no unannounced visitors - my family aren't great about this. I feel comfortable enough telling them please can they wash up/bugger off now, but not so much with DH's family.

As for Christmas, the scan is giving me hope baby will definitely be here by then. Sister has offered to come to us and cook, so as long as someone else does the clearing up and the shopping I'm happy with that! We are going to have to see nearer the time.

Hurrah for the good scan Wholelottalove, mine was measuring a week ahead too but has been all the way through. Same here with the boy parts too. A woman in work told me today that she thinks I am carrying a boy just from the size of my huge bump! I regretted not finding out too but it will be extra exciting on the day, eh?!

DF I would be happy if my DH comes and reads my concerns so that he sees that every other girl agrees with me and understands that it's not only me wanting no oversees visitor till I get the grasp of things. I always tell my DH that I do love his family but the situation will be different when I have my first baby...

BTW, I just called my poor DH and out of blue asked him if he has asked his family to reconsider the Xmas plans. He asked: why are we talking about this again??? ha ha...

WWSB I absolutely adore your rules... I love them. I wish I could put them into force... May I steel them and print them and hang them in our living room???

Wholelottalove great news ... My baby was a bit big too but the consultant said that the 21 week scan is not accurate anymore on dating as it depends on my nourishment. I am giving good nourishment to this little bundle of joy in addition to my hips!!

Oh and my MIL or FIL or any of DH family don't clean up after their mess at all. They actually stay with us for weeks but each day leave their tea mugs on the table for me to come and pick up. They are nice but just don't notice that they are not helpful. Oh I am so hormonal and want to make sure they don't come for xmas!! I have told my mom that she is not coming before I give green light. She accepted... lol.. My mom is sick and needs tons of attention and I really can't handle having her with heart problem around when my baby is screaming.. but at least I can tell my mom... gosh I am so talkative today. I will shut up NOW.

Yikes Pjen - thats a lot of visitors around xmas! Not sure I could cope with all that at the best of times . I do like visitors coming but I do find it a bit of an intrusion if a) there are too many and b) they stay too long .

DF - Mmm, your bathroom situation would definately make me say no over-night visitors - totally agree with you. As you say you may still be bleeding and you dont want to be worrying about what you're wearing. Also I dont know about anyone else but if I have people staying I feel really aware of the amount of noise the baby is making. When mine were very young, you sometimes have nights when they're up a lot and the LO is making a fair bit of noise. Its stressful enough if you're trying to figure out whats wrong and you're tired. Heaven help anyone that would try to offer me advice or get in my way at that time . I just wouldn't have the patience to be polite - even if they were just trying to be helpful!

Mumatron - sorry about your scan . You focus so much on the date for weeks that it must be a massive let down for it to be changed. A few days can feel like a lifetime

Hey PJen - feel free to steal away! Much easier, I think, to set really strict groundrules that you can later let slip than trying to impose things the other way round.

I often describe things I've picked up from chats on MN as "a friend at work advised..." so when I need to reinforce a point (such as the no visitors rule) I will say that "several of the people i know at work have said its best to do such and such" - I think a lot of people view chat rooms with suspicion, but I have learnt so much here already that I just wouldn't have found out otherwise. However, I do try to stay anonymous as sometimes its good to be able to be totally honest and lets face it, even with close friends and family, you can't be totally frank 100% of the time.

Girls, how much weight you have put on by this stage? I am 21 weeks and have put on 10 lbs already!!!

Glad your scan went well wholelotta

I have loads coming for Christmas, about 13 if they all show hehe. I love Christmas though and usually go really over the top with food, decorations etc. I'd love it if baby was here on Christmas day, well before Christmas day but so that she can join us for Christmas!

Mumatron sorry about your scan, that happened to me with dd, I was so upset that I started crying in the hallway while I was at the hospital. A lovely midwife took me into a room and spoke to me, sorted the scan out for a few days time and let me listen to the baby's heartbeat.

Pjen I haven't put any on yet, I'm 20 weeks on Thursday but I lost a lot of weight and am only just starting to put it back on now. Still less than what I was before I got pregnant though and I'm a size 8 now. I'm putting it down to stress though!

Had a really good appointment with my solicitor today in preperation for the court hearing next Friday, it went well and I've copied all my documents for her so they can be sent to court before then. Should make it quicker on the day and the decisions easier for the judge to make. I don't want to get my hopes up but it sounded good.

Hi Everyone - just checking in - I really hadn't even thought about visitors around Christmas and now I'm dreading it! We always have to go to my parents and the PIL on Christmas Day so its 'fair' trouble is my parents are on the doorstep and PIL are about an hour away and I don't think i'll want to drive to see them or have them in my house!! What is it about all these PIL that means they don't notice they've hung around too long? Mine annoy me now let alone when I've just given birth MIL in particular as she is very very quiet and its like puling teeth trying to get her into a conversation so you end up sat in silence wracking your brain for something to say whilst DH takes hid dad off to some other room to chat about gadgets and cars - arrghhh! I have a huge amount of sympathy for anyone who is having house guests who'd rather not - I just don't understand how anyone could be so insensitive to not realise we're going to want new family time with our new babies
I'm too scared to see how much weight i've put on but I expect its more than 10lbs and definitely not all on the tummy I lost over 2 stone for my wedding 18 months ago and I think it'll be back with reinforcements in no time!
Also, my boss came over to me yesterday in a bit of a tizz as she has been told she has to do a stress assessment with me as I'm pregnant - I don't really know how she thought asking me why she needed to do it and why I'd possibly be stressed at work was particularly helpful!
Does anyone one else have mega dry eyes? Apparently it's hormonal but mine are killing me and are really blood shot, meaning not only do i look all hot and bothered all the time I also can't wear any eye makeup so I generally look like i haven't slept in a month - perhaps I should spend less time on the internet the eyedrops that are ok in pregnancy do nothing at all so jsut been to the docs to see if i need anything else and got some weird gel stuff so hopefully that will help.
Good luck with the scan mumatron only 2 days now
WLL I liked your cat stories - luckily mine are too greedy to bring me presents

Also - some of you are saying your baby is measuring 21 weeks at the 20 week scan - on my report some measurements come out at 20+1 and some as 21+1 - should I be concerned that they aren't all saying the same thing? I think it was that the femur length was a week ahead of the rest.
c&g good luck in court
Sorry this post flits about so much! xx

Oh, i thought I was doing well to have only gained 4 pounds. But I see other have gained nothing -- or even lost some weight. I am .

And of course that cheese sandwich I just ate afer already have pag bol and an ice cream was probably a bit wreckless. Oh well...

I think by the time you get to the anomoly scan the measurements are less accurate so I wouldn't worry. Some babies will be bigger than others and that's perfectly normal.

I've gained about 6 or 7 lb, although that doesn't include the stone I put on in the 6 months before conceiving I'vebeen told to expect about 1/2 lb a week from now on. I feel huge and someone in work told me my bump is really big!

KittyBump sorry for filling you with dread I am sure we'll all be ok.

Thanks kitty. I've got my scan on Friday and I'm really curious to find out how big she's measuring at the moment. My eyes are OK other than that I recently got a stye, seems to have almost gone now though.

Stix 4 pounds doesn't sound like much at all. With my other pregnancies I'd put on a bit more by this stage, I really do think it's just down to the stress. I wasn't eating much at all thinking about it, I thought I was doing OK at the time but looking back (comparing to how much I'm stuffing now ) it wasn't enough hehe. I'm a lover of cheese in most forms and on anything, in sandwiches, on pasta, in mash, on doritos etc. I also love crisps and any stodge food.

This is going to sound really weird but, I've just been looking at moses baskets online and it kind of hit me that I'm actually going to have another baby! I looked at the cot and imagine a little baby inside it I've not really allowed myself to get too excited yet still and what with everything going on I've not focused much on the baby, poor thing, but wow!!! It's only taken 5 months to feel this but I'm really excited

20 week scan yesterday which I'm still processing. Anomoly part was fine but I had an extra cardiac scan as the nuchal translucency was a bit high (overall low risk though). Cardiac scan showed a blood vessel in the wrong place -not a problem in terms of heart function but it does mean increased risk of downs. I'm still low risk overall, 1:500, now it's been adjusted but I just wanted to hear it was all fine so it feels quite scary. Not planning to have an amnio as the risks of that are still much higher than the risk of downs but worried all the same. Hopefully I just need a few days to get it all in perspective but I'm really still in denial about the pregnancy- can't bring myself to buy anything for the baby or even contemplate names and I still haven't told people at work!

Have got the gender in a sealed envelope for when dh gets back from china next week so maybe that will help make it seem real and bring a bit more joy to proceedings. Can't remember whose idea that was but thanks.

Oh and very glad I didn't take dd along for the scan.

Apologies for long and self-centred post!

I'll have to go an get on scales...hang on...

arrgghh, OMFG!! I have put on A STONE!! Bloody hell. I lost weight in first trimester last time around so didn't put on as much and was a lot smaller to start with. I guess I started this pg bigger although still normal BMI. In fact in another 8 lbs or so I am going to be at the same weight I was at term with DD. Shit.

I am fully clothed/just eaten tea/it's the end of the day... that has to count for at least a couple of pounds, right?!?

93pjb sorry to hear that your baby may have a heart issue, hopefully you are getting lots of support? Did they find any other markers for Downs or did they not go in to all that? Hopefully everything will be ok, it must be a shock though.

My deepest sypathis 93pjb. As you may recall, my nuchal gave a high translucent measurement (2.8mm) but a fairly good overall number. I hemmed an hahed and it was just plain horrible. I sometimes wished they had just given me a 1 in 10 chance of downs so I could opt for invasive testing with an easy decision. But all the conflicting information made the decision agony.

But...

Even with the high nuchal reading, everything is fine. I haven't had my anomoly, but according to the CVS there are no chromosomal abnormalities.

Must be terribly worrying for you. I really sympathise.

93pjb just seen your post (must've been writing my rant as you posted) - puts my worrying about weight gain into perspective. Sorry you've had worrying results on your scan and hope all will be ok.

93pjp - sorry to hear you have this worry - really hope its all going to be fine... Are there any other scans / tests you can have if you want them (apart from amnio)?

Hi Ladies, sorry i've been MIA for a week!

Strix & PJen yes, I'm still on for Saturday at 4pm! I might be at 4.10pm as I just need to do a quick hand over with my assistant manager. I'm really looking forward to meeting you both

93PJB hope you are feeling better, and the information has been processed, it can all feel a bit overwhelming. Good news that the heart function is ok, apparently there are lots of minor markers that in the past they thought could signal downs but have realised that this isn't definitely the case and you still have low odds. I'm with you on the whole amnio debate, the risk just seems too high.