Thank youall so much for all these lovely messages. You've made me feel about warm and snuggley
Ok, so the details.....
Had had afew twinges thoughout the day, but nothing regular, wentto bed at about 10:30pm undecided if the pians were real or not. By midnight I'd kind of worked out they must be but was almost in denial because they were every 5-7 minutes and really just like period pains.
Called my brother at about 12:30 and then my friend to come and sit here until DB arrived(from basingstoke 120 miles away!!)Arrived at hosital at 1:15am with Tens machine wired up. 7-8cm dilated already on arrival still with just period pains...Way---hey!!
Examined again at 3:45am and still at 7cm so MW broke waters.
and here starts the most traumaticly horrifying experience of my life.
Within one contraction I was climbing the walls.
Because of the whole big baby/lots of water stuff when I was PG I was now convinced he was going to be massive because only a small gush of water came out when they broke them.
I was convinced I wouldn't get him out, I was begging for someone to pull him out too. His heart rate was dropping dramatically with each contraction so the MW was telling me to push harder.
I just couldn't do it. It felt like my whole insides were coming out. It was truelly the worst experinence of my life.
Ds2+3 just popped out with hardly any need to push at all. They were coming out whether I liked it or not. George made me work to get him out!!
Every time I pushed the MW would say she could see his head but all I thought was "No you can't you're just saying that...he's going to get stuck...I can't push any harder"
2nd MW came in then she got the stippups out and I freaked!!
There was no way I was putting my legs in those god awful things. I was terrifeid I;d be there for hours on end trying to get him out. I would have rather died than put my legs in them!!!
The next contraction was horrific and my legs took on a mind of there own and got themsleve into the stirrups....
With a push that came from god knows where his head was out, followed by a jet of amniotic fluid that, apparently, shot horizonally out of my fanjo, drenching the MW from chest to knees.
The relief that I'd done that bit was immense and I said a few chioce words to show my relief
I pushed the rest of him out as the next contraction started and the bed was absolutley soaked. Both MW's said they hadn't seen that much water in a long long time.
Goerge as passed up to me and Dh cut the cord. He was so sticky with vernix I think I could have stuck him to the ceiling
I really can not explain how awful the whole birth was after my waters were broke. It was only about 40 minutes but it was absolutley the worst, most horrifying, scariest experince of my life. I honestly cannot find to words to say how awful it was.
I decided pretty much staright away that because I wouldn't be breast feeding. I really really wanted to give it a good try this time but the experince was so bad I just want/need an easy ride from here on in. I know how to do bottle feeding and he's taken to it with great gusto. I'm sure in a few weeks I'll be starting thread about feeling bad that I'm not breastfeeding him because I really wanted to succeed with it this time so when i do will you please remind me of the journey to hell and back I took in that delivery room, remind me that we're both here, were both healthy and we made me out alive!