Our safe haven thread for bereaved mums and anyone who has been affected by the bereavement of a child - whatever age,

[shabbapinkfrog]

The most supportive, loving, loyal thread on Mumsnet - I wouldn't know what to do without all of you x

Morning all. xx

morning all..

Thanks ppm I have woken up feeling better this morning

sorry for ranting yesterday

I dont know if there is any research into stillbirths. I know their is sands but I think they are more about support after the event than prevention

I personally think more scans would help at least in some cases

5 sleeps to Disney .... so today is washing ironing and putting stuff away for the big trip

Hi all,
Do you mind if I join you all?
I am mummy to a angel with wings as well as 3 with feet. Georgina my angel with wings died almost 8 years ago has it really been that long? (10th April 2002) due to SIDS she was born new years eve 2001

almost 4 years ago 17th May 2006 my husband joined her in heaven.

I still almost 8 years on have bad days where the pain is raw and i can hardly breath but I also have fantastic days where I can remember her with a smile.

My angels with feet are DS almost 10 (30th April) DD 4 and DD almost 1 (27th March)

xxx

Hello AACL and welcome to the one thread that we all wish we didn't have a right to be on .

I am so sorry to hear about Georgina and also your husband x

I am also 8 yrs down this shitty road . My first son Harry died Dec 2nd 2001 , he was 14mths old . I also have mostly good days and then at other times I could cheerfully crawl up in a ball and stay there for the forseeable .

I also have two other sons aged 6 and 3 .

Hi AACL. I have a ds and my husband in heaven. Jack was born at 26 weeks in Dec 1994 and lived for two hours. My dh died in July 2001. Sorry you have had to join us. We are a wonderful bunch of people so make yourself comfy!!

AACL hello, my daughter died aged 14 months last April. These lovely ladies have held my hand through the hardest times, well every day since a couple of weeks after her death. I don't know what I would have done without this thread. I have a new DS aged 9 weeks, doesn't help at all when I only want DD back, but he's alright so far ! I'm so sorry to hear about Georgina, and also about the loss of your husband. Both are things you should never have to live through, my father died before I was born, weirdly, and I know how hard it hit my mother.

Anyway there's my misery guts intro done pull up a comfy chair, pour some gin or strong vino and say whatever you want to say and whatever you feel x

Welcome AACL, thank you for telling us about Georgina - what a beautiful name . I'm 2 years down this road and my darling ds was 15mo when he died. I'm so sorry to hear about your dh too. You really have been through so much. Come and have a chat, cry, laugh, whatever you fancy

Crumpette - don't worry about the 8 week check, that can wait (unless there is something you want to discuss with the GP).

Did you explain your position to the Registrar about getting ds registered asap? If you did and that's still the earliest date you can get, phone or write to whoever sent the letter and explain the situation. If they're not happy, tell them to contact the Registrar direct.

I've got a feeling I had to call the Child Benefit people myself. They were very understanding. Explain the situation, even if you do have to pay the money back I very much doubt they will get arsey with you.

I don't blame you for putting these things off, I think I was the same. But they need to be done. If you need some hand holding we'll be here. Anyway, I can't talk, I still haven't sorted out all of C's paperwork type stuff.

Awww thank you for the welcome, I wish none of us had to be here.

I am extreamly lucky in a lot of ways I have had 2 beautiful daughters since Georgie. although I am terrifed everyday that I will lose someone else especially one of my children, I wrap them in cottom wool too much sometimes.

I have met a wonderful man since Mal and we are planning on getting married. Yesterday was 2 years since the death of Mal's mum who I was quite close to. His dad is in a care home with altzimers me and the kids are his only family now and i am his deputy (take care of all his money and stuff)

DP even though he wasn't in my life at all when Georgie was born or died he includes her in our family life mothers day etc CD he brought had G's song on it.

Although DP is fab about Georgie he is less so over Mal I understand it's hard for him but it's more than hard for me my life was ripped apart the day mal died. sigh

Hi AACL thanks for Telling us about your beautiful daughter. Your dp sounds fabulous

My ds Fraser was stillborn 6 years ago (13 April 2004)

Like you I have periods where life goes along happily and then bam I just want to go to bed and not get up for a few days

As the very mad lovely shabster would say its pity we didnt all meet on a thread about excessive wind

crumpette.. you southerners have it easy... we get 21 days to register the birth

I am sure that when you right to the child benefit people they will understand why you couldnt face telling them before

time is ticking on the thread ladies.. any volunteers for the new one???

AACL Im glad you found us but wish none of us had to be here.

So sorry to hear about your DD and DH. So very sorry.

I lost a twin baby boy (aged 7 months) in 1982 due to congenital heart defects. Then in 1992 my DS3 (7 years old) was knocked down and killed by a reversing lorry.

So I have twin sons (aged 28), DS3 (aged 25) and my lovely suprise DS4 (aged 12) even though two of my sons are not physically with me I always have to mention them in the 'line up'

My eldest son and his wonderful partner made me a first time grandma in 2008 - another amazing little lad called Lewis (or Lew as we call him)

Stay around here my friend - a loving, loyal and supportive thread xx

Morning girls xx

Morning all xx

Morning ladies, I am a woman on a mission this morning. I have just rung the local paper to inform them about Deaf Awareness Week(first week in May) and to inform them that i am good at bullying, i normally get my own way and that Wilf is a great advert for all things deaf!! The lady is on hols this week, i am informed she will ring me next week! If she doesnt she will be hearing from me!!

Morning all, welcome AACL.

I feel like im back at square one. We've started finding out bits of info that we didnt know before and why its the charges it is and not more serious ones.. eg causing death by his driving etc. My fb status yesterday was about te situation. Will find out later if court will be adjourned till after the inquest only found out that it might yesterday.

how is everyone?

hi everyone, had a slightly better day yesterday but back in a not so nice dark place again today, just feel like curling up in a ball and hiding. Am really struggling a -t the moment... off out to a friends house as i'm just feeling really down and not good to be on my own at the moment.

You do whatever feels right PPM. There are no rules on grieving. {{{Hugs}}}

I don't know what to say Crumpette tbh.

I guess you really have to consider your future with your dp. If you decide to leave him then you have to make a plan, no one else is going to do it for you, you'll have to think and do everything yourself. And that's what so frightening about leaving a relationship.

However to get the courage you have to think about what he brings into your life: awful verbal attacks and comments. Sucking you financially, emotionally and mentally dry, and I haven't even mentioned the physical attack yet....

Funnily enough I've recently been looking at pictures of C in hospital. Of course at the time I knew how ill he had been and was, but it sort of became the norm. So when I look at the pictures now and compare him to how M is, I realise how poorly he looked.

Morning all xx

Morning xx

crumpette , how are you doing this morning ? You are going through the worst of times at the minute and your partner is making things worse not better for you . That for me says it all really .

I am just so sorry that you are going through this and wish there was something we could do to help . Is there anywhere you could go even just for a few days to try and clear head ?

Morning xx

Yaawwwwwwwwwwn!!! Morning xx

Crumpette - I don't know what to say, except I am thinking of you.

Morning everyone else xxx

Hi AACL - Haven't even said hello to you but am having a really shitty week or two so am sure i'll catch up with you soon - really sorry for your losses x

Crumpette, have been thinking a lot about you this morning and wondering what to say to you. I just don't know is the honest answer. You are so vulnerable and fragile right now and it's clear from what you've said that your dp is really making you feel even more so. I echo what ILike and TW have said. I think a few days away somewhere (friend?) could help you get your thoughts together. Leaving a relationship is the easier bit - getting to the point of making the decision to leave is a whole lot more complex esp for you at the moment.

You know where we are if talking helps or even just getting out of your head anything that's going round and round. Hugs and love to you xx