Our safe haven thread for bereaved mums and anyone who has been affected by the bereavement of a child - whatever age,

[shabbapinkfrog]

The most supportive, loving, loyal thread on Mumsnet - I wouldn't know what to do without all of you x

LF I have found that children are much more able to deal with death than we are. When my brother died DD was only 2.5, but she talks about him now in such a matter-of-fact, 'normal' way. She knows that he's dead, even if she doesn't really know what this means, but she's incredibly accepting of it. it's almost as if he exists, but in a dead state, if that makes sense. So, mummy is here, Uncle J isn't because he's dead, Aunty K is here etc. His birthday is marked on the calendar, and whenever we look through the months she always says 'Uncle J's birthday' when we get to March. I expect your daughter's ability to absorb her sister's death will amaze you in all kinds of ways as she grows older, as Shabba says with her son.

Good luck this afternoon. I was also going to suggest speaking to someone beforehand so they can help you sneak off if necessary, but you're one step ahead. I hope it is ok and well done for facing it so bravely.

Thanks for the new thread Shabs, and thanks for the last one TW xxx

Welcome LF, thank you for telling us about Daisy (I also have to agree that it is a beautiful name), I hope this afternoon goes ok. I always find that thinking about it is usually worse than the actual event - I think because I run through every possible scenario in my head.

ressponding responding.. crumpette needs some sleep

A name similar to L's isn't wrong at all if that's what you would like to do Crumpette.

I can't believe your mw said that. You should have a note on your notes which should stop those sort of thoughtless remarks. You really don't need to hear that at such an emotional time.

I glad to hear all is well, enjoy this special time with your darling lo. It's quite normal to be paranoid about their health. I think the paranoia gets better, but I doubt it goes away.

Matts favourite school assembly hymn

This always brings a smile to my face - and I know all the actions

Hello all xxx

I love that song Shabba! We used to all laugh at the fuzzy-wuzzy bear line when we were at school. Haven't heard it in years.

Hello ladies, hope you are all well;

Crumpette - me and my DP have decided to call our next baby Alfie if its a boy, which is REALLY similar to Archie, I know, but I find it comforting to think about and think of it as a tribute of sorts, so you call your baby whatever you want

Sorry the midwife was so insensitive, my health visitor called the other day to see how I was coping, and when I started to cry a bit she said "Oh sorry, I've reminded you of it all now, I better go", and hung up, leaving me standing there crying like a loon?! Not that helpful !

Oops meant to add that I really hope you are coping with the new addition well, and feeling well.

xx

Sorry, ANOTHER post!

I only just caught up with the other thread and just wanted to say hi to LunaticFringe.

Your post really struck a chord with me; my son died at 7weeks old in Decemeber and it has been really hard for us too; especially xmas, and I too was pregnant with 3 other friends, and they all have healthy boys now, and I am here starting all over again. I am glad you joined the thread, the ladies here are wonderful, and will look after you well. Hope you are having an okay day, I find somedays I am fine and others it is like walking into a completely black room and I have to force myself to leave and think of positive. It will get better though and I am so so sorry for your loss, and hope you are on the road to recovery

Abs

xx

LOL you are not a dunce - I 'peaked too soon' as usual and opened this thread before the other one was full up!!

xxx

Morning girls xx

Good morning all xx

LF , I am glad things went well yesterday , it sounds like you have got a good bunch of friends there . They will be worth their weight in gold in the future .

We have got more bloody snow here this morning , I am bored of it now . School is open so that is good , but I have a feeling they will want to travel in style on the sledge .

hi girls no snow ,but paths are black icex

Morning, we have loads of ice around too but no snow. So think preschool will be open for ds. Going to keep him at home though. He's had a cold for the past few days and i dont want it to go to his chest and keep an eye on him myself.

Just been on Facebook and it looks like Deemented had her baby yesterday if I find out anymore details I will let you know.

thats great, congratulations deemented. thanks shabs

HUge Congratulations Dee , can't wait to hear more xx

Hi all, back for a short while whilst i have a computer. Congrats Heat!!!!

Lottttttttttttttttttie - hiya love - good to have you back!!

HIya Lottie

It is soooo lovely to see you back . How are you and Wilf doing ?