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Original poster

Nancy, 2Shoes, Squonk, Sidge etc: Can you move over here please?

358 replies

LilRedWG · 16/11/2009 12:09

The bloody site just deleted another huge message I'd typed on the thread so can we start this new one please so that I'm allowed on?

I'm not retyping as it made me cry the first time around, surfice to say that you are all in my thoughts. xxx

Thank you ladies.

OP posts:
Original poster
LilRedWG · 16/02/2010 19:09

Thanks Harib - it's been sad today but not as painful as the anniversary of his death. That day was terrible - I ventured out of bed only once and had to retreat as I couldn't even bear being around DH and DD without getting panicky.

I've kept busy with DD today and had a little chat (and shed a few tears) to Dad whilst I was hanging laundry to dry.

In six days time it's a year since Mum died. DH (bless him) has booked the day off work to be with me.

How's everyone else doing?

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mumoverseas · 17/02/2010 05:49

hello all,
LilRed so sorry about yesterday, hope you are doing ok. You are lucky as sounds like you have a fabulously supportive DH. I can't imagine my DH doing that for me. In fact, sadly I know he would just tell me to 'pull myself together' which is exactly what he did a week after mum died and on christmas day and my birthday and mum's birthday last week. Although I've been trying so hard I can see our relationship falling to pieces and I have to say, a lot of it (from my point of view) is the way he has been about me losing mum.

I'm so sorry this is such an awful month for you LilRed. Life is so bloody unfair x

Original poster
LilRedWG · 17/02/2010 11:33

Oh MOS, I'm sorry he is such a tit about your Mum. Many hugs coming your way. x

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mumoverseas · 17/02/2010 12:43

He is being a tit about everything at the moment. Yesterday he had a real go at me for having the cheek to say how difficult it was for me to get DS and DD back to our house from the bus stop following a trip to the zoo. DS was asleep in the car seat (that DH insists I have to use on bus and I do agree to that) I had a pram that the car seat didn't fit on (he had that pram in HIS car) and also had tired 3 year old and 2 bags and had the cheek to ask if he could pop out from the office, collect us and drop us off which would have been a round trip of less than 10 mins.
Apparently 'all the other women manage ok'. Yes, they probably do but they haven't got metal pins holding their spine together and haven't been told not to lift or carry anything heavy What makes me more angry is after my spinal surgery I was advised not to have more children due to my back but of course he wanted children so I had two more, my back has got worse and I struggle just lifting my DS up now.

This mornings classic was him screaming to me to get DS (aged 1 and just walking) out of the en-suite when he was in the shower and had left the door open. Apprently DS was lifting the toilet seat and looking in, throwing toys in the shower, opening cupboards. How the f* does he think I cope every morning with no help. aaaghhh. sorry to vent on here but he is really bugging me now and him being an insensitive git is the last straw.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

Original poster
LilRedWG · 19/02/2010 13:37

Oh MOS, I'm so sorry. Keep venting as much as you need to honey. x

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2shoes · 19/02/2010 14:44

MOS so sorry to hear you are having sucha dreadful time, such a shame that your dh is being so wrong.
perhaps he just doesn't get it as he has yet to expierence it iynwim. it must be so hard for you though, to cope with all these things plus your grief.

LilRedWG I have tried not to even think of when dads funeral was(it would have been this week) as I needed the 1 year anniversary of his death to be it. I need to move on.
easier said than done.
been a very busy week. for this thread only(as not sharing on mn) ds moved out on tuesday. he will be fine and only did it as he wants some independance and to live with his mates, he knows he can come back anytime,. but omg I miss him.

Sidge · 19/02/2010 22:59

MOS sorry things aren't great with your DH.

And as the anniversaries creep around I'm thinking of you all xxx

mumoverseas · 20/02/2010 05:44

hi all, sorry for my venting the other day, I've been very 'me, me, me'

Hope everyone is coping ok. Anyone heard from Squonk? Hope she is ok and getting lots of support in RL.

2shoes hope you are doing ok. Am dreading the anniversary of mum's death, not so much the funeral though. Always remember dad's funeral though as on 5th November so I guess every bonfire night I'll think of him.

LilRed will be thinking of you over the next few days approaching your mum's anniverary. Hugs x

NancysGarden · 20/02/2010 11:18

HI everyone, just read messages on this page. I can't believe MOS your message about your back. How did you manage to have 2 more children? I've suffered with my back since I had our LO so the thought of pregnancy/childbirth/physical wear and tear of motherhood all over again is not something I want to put myself through again. You sound like super woman, I take my hat off to you.

We buried my Grandad's ashes this week, which is why I've not really felt up to coming on here. We released a balloon and had a reading and played a piece of music that my Mum and Dad had their first dance to. It was lovely but very emotional. We had the service on ash Wednesday, which is the day my dear Dad passed away last year (it is a movable feast), so a very special day.

And this Thurs is one year for Dad.

Off to catch up with the rest of the thread I 've missed

xx

mumoverseas · 20/02/2010 12:38

Hi Nancy. Sorry about your grandad's ashes burial this week. Fully understand why you didn't want to be here. Sounds like the service was very moving, particularly given it was the anniversary of your dad passing. Hope you are doing ok.

Ref my back, I'm certainly not superwoman I had an accident years ago, 1991 and it took around 4 years for them to decide what was wrong by which time I needed a spinal fusion which I finally had in 2000 after I'd had DC1 and 2. Of course I hadn't planned on more DC and was in any event advised against it but then I met DH2 who didn't have children.
Last two pregnancies a nightmare. Lots of back pain and had to have CS 3 weeks early due to pressure on back. Back has just gone downhill from there. Just bugs me a bit that he knows how back my back was/is and sometimes seems to gloss over/ignore it.

Original poster
LilRedWG · 23/02/2010 17:21

Hi all - it sounds as though everyone is having a tough time at the moment. Much love to you all.

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mumoverseas · 25/02/2010 10:49

hello all
LilRed hope you are doing ok and got through last week ok.

squonk hope you feel up to coming back to 'talk' to us soon. we all know how you feel x

bad day here. DH just found out a few hours ago that a really good friend of his out here was killed this morning. A group of them were out riding their bikes and his friend was killed instantly in a head on accident. DH just popped into work (its our weekend) and by the sounds of it, the arsehole who hit him deliberately drove at him and drove off. Bastard.
Its awful as his wife is out here and children in the UK and she will be leaving tonight and the company will pack all their things and ship them back.

DH is devestated and has just popped out again, I think as he needs some space and doesn't want to cry in front of me. Thinking about it, apart from his dog, this is his first real experience with death. Am trying very hard to be supportive and put to the back of my mind how he was when mum died

NancysGarden · 25/02/2010 12:32

A year today. Can't believe it's a year: shortest year of my life feels like yesterday.

2shoes · 25/02/2010 12:35

NancysGarden thinking of you today xxx

MOS sorry to hear about your DH'S friend

mumoverseas · 25/02/2010 14:03

Thanks 2shoes

nancy thinking of you today and saying a prayer for you and your missing loved one x

Original poster
LilRedWG · 25/02/2010 15:32

Nancy - thinking of you and hoping that you are as okay as possible.

MOS - I'm so sorry for the loss of DH's friend. I hope that you are all okay.

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2shoes · 12/03/2010 23:48

with mothers day looming.
can I send my love to all of you who will not ahve amum to share it with.
my Mum died when I was 18 and I miss her so much. another mothers day without SM too, so sad.
I am lucky that my MIL is like a mother to me though.
so love to you all xx

Original poster
LilRedWG · 13/03/2010 09:51

Love to you too 2shoes.

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Haribolicious · 13/03/2010 18:37

Thanks 2shoes - this will be my first without Mum really not looking forward to tomorrow. I haven't been able to face doing anything and I'm afraid I'm putting my head in the sand re:mil. I feel a bit guilty but I just haven't been able to hug/kiss mil since losing my own Mum. Hope everyone is ok and gets through tomorrow ok....will be thinking of you all.

fryalot · 14/03/2010 19:05

hey guys.

just popping in to let you know that I'm doing okay - ish.

I do pop in and check in on you now and again even though I don't always post. So sorry that everyone seems to be having a shitty time at the moment. I can't believe it's been over a year now since we started this! Those anniversaries must be tough - I'll find out I suppose.

We're going over at Easter to spend a couple of days with dad's widow so that will be tough but cathartic I think...

Anyway, I'm off now - dp home in a sec and I don't want to be crying when he gets in - and I know I will be if I stay here much longer.

"see" you all soon.

xx

Original poster
LilRedWG · 21/03/2010 21:13

Squonk - you sound so strong. Keep taking it easy on yourself as much as you can. xxxx

I hope everyone else's day was as okay as possible.

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2shoeskickedtheeasterbunny · 27/03/2010 18:29

hello all sorry I have been on here for ages, I have been coping well if I advoid things that remind me iynwim....
Mumoverseas posted this on my FB page, I can pass on any repies

Hi, hope all ok with you. I appear to have been blocked on MN as not been able to get on for over 3 weeks:-) Please send my love to all the girls on 'our thread' x

Original poster
LilRedWG · 03/04/2010 13:11

Lovely to see you 2shoes. I know what you mean about avoiding things but please make sure that you don't just bottle it up.

Can you suggest MOS as a FB to me please. Thanks. xxx

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mumoverseas · 04/04/2010 12:57

hello ladies, I'm back having finally been un-blocked by MNHQ. Not sure what the blocking was all about but at least I'm back now.
Been really busy in real life but noticed that the last week or so the depression had been creeping in again. Maybe a combination of mothers day which was awful (I did think of you all and said a prayer for our lost mums) and also next month is mums first anniversary. I miss her so much but recently its like I can still hear her voice so clearly. She always started every call with 'any coughs, colds, sneezes?' Funnily enough, DS2 has all three at the moment and its 32 degrees here!

Hope you are all doing ok.
LilRed lovely meeting you on FB. x

Original poster
LilRedWG · 09/04/2010 15:10

Welcome home honey. x

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