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Original poster

Nancy, 2Shoes, Squonk, Sidge etc: Can you move over here please?

358 replies

LilRedWG · 16/11/2009 12:09

The bloody site just deleted another huge message I'd typed on the thread so can we start this new one please so that I'm allowed on?

I'm not retyping as it made me cry the first time around, surfice to say that you are all in my thoughts. xxx

Thank you ladies.

OP posts:
Haribolicious · 17/01/2010 10:32

Sidge - glad you made it to your Gran's funeral too.

mumoverseas - hope things have improved with your DH and you've settled back into life.

Just want to say 'thanks' to all you lovely ladies too for the support given lately to help survive the xmas period. It's been invaluable....hope everyone's doing ok.

mumoverseas · 20/01/2010 05:50

hello all, hope you are all managing ok.

Haribo things are settling down. I think when we are back in the UK there is so much more stress, ie kids not in nursery/school, all tripping over each other, loads of housy stuff to do and having to do all housework, ironing etc (we are lucky enough to have someone doing that out here) Plus it was bloody cold which didn't help as we couldn't get out anywhere so kids had cabin fever!

we've had a few 'words' since we've been back but are trying very hard to work things out.
I've started attending a counselling course (have been trying to do one by distance learning for the last 2 years) which is very useful. There are a few qualified counsellers there and at the first session although I was supposed to be training I found it very helpful talking about real life experiences. I think thats what I've been needing to do the last 7 months since I lost mum so hopefully this will help.

Nearly had a wobbly moment yesterday when DH announced he was going on a business trip in March. Due to the airlines he has to fly with he will be gone 6 days for 2 days of business. I was upset when I realised he'd be going the saturday before Mothers day as I know it will be hard my first year without my mum.
A positive to the trip is that it coincides with when DS1 is going to attend a law conference at Cambridge Uni so DH can pick him up from his school and take him up there on the Sunday ready for the Monday am.

Thinking about it last night, I thought that maybe they could stop off at mum and dads grave on the way (only a minor detour) and lay some flowers on it with a card from me. That would make me feel a bit better I think in that mum wouldn't be forgotton on Mothers day (although no doubt I would be by DC3 and 4 as DH away)
Does that make sense or am I just mad?

Hope everyone is coping ok x

Original poster
LilRedWG · 20/01/2010 10:37

MOS, so sorry that you will be without DH for Mothers Day this year, but hopefully him and DS laying some flowers for you will bring you some comfort. We'll all be here if you need us too. I banned MD in our house last year as DD was too young to care and I didn't want to know - it was just a normal Sunday for us. This year she will know and will want to make cards etc so I'll just be trying to focus on her.

Am glad that you and DH are gradually getting there; I think a few 'words' are to be expected but as you are both working so hard I'm sure you'll get there and the councelling course can only help, as will a few private sessions if you can get them.

Things are hard here at the moment. Am struggling with the lead up to the first anniversaries of Mum and Dad's deaths, but today is a good day and I'm just taking it an hour at a time atm.

Hope everyone is hanging in there.

x

OP posts:
Original poster
LilRedWG · 20/01/2010 10:47

Not sure if any of you have seen this thread, but my lovely 14 year old niece is taking part in the Marie Curie Swimathon in April and will be swimming 2.5k.

Whilst I could never swim that far myself I have told her I will support her be drumming up sponsorship for her.

If I have offended or upset anyone by posting this here I am truly sorry and please feel free to get the post deleted. Have thought long and hard whether to post or not.

OP posts:
mumoverseas · 20/01/2010 13:15

Hi LilRed well done to your niece. I can't imagine any of us on here would be offended by your post. It is such a good cause and I'll have a look at it later.

It must be terrible for you having both your mum and dad's anniversary coming up. I hope you get some support in RL as well as on here.
I'm focusing on fundraising at the moment for GOSH. I sell cards and gift wrap out here (as hard to get and very expensive) and have now started selling baby and toddlers books. Am having a sale at the local mums and tots group Saturday and one at the nursery on Tuesday. Think I will donate 50p from each one sold to the Haiti appeal. I'm finding doing stuff like this keeps me focused and I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile x

Original poster
LilRedWG · 20/01/2010 13:31

Thanks MOS. I just didn't want to upset any of you by shoving the dreaded C-word in your faces.

You sounds so busy, I really don't know how you do it all.

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mumoverseas · 20/01/2010 13:44

LilRed I would hope that anyone who has lost someone to cancer would be pleased that fundraising is being done for it. I'm sure I would.
My DS did a charity parachute jump last year and raised over 1,200 and I'm so proud of him.

I have to try to keep busy, stops me thinking. I really miss my old career (law) and I find myself having to do stuff to keep myself busy/sane. I'm also organising a charity nearly new sale (like the NCT ones) in March. Its not like I have a 'proper' job anymore so I have to keep busy. Studying arabic too, anything to keep the boredom at bay

Original poster
LilRedWG · 21/01/2010 09:41

Wow - your DS is quite a star for raising that much.

Re: the keeping busy. I can imagine that you really miss your career, but guess that there's not much call for female divorce lawyers out there.

OP posts:
mumoverseas · 21/01/2010 14:54

oh how right you are LilRed they just get another wife (can have up to 7 I believe) or just say 'I divorce thee' three times. I'm a bit redundant

Sidge · 25/01/2010 22:08

It's a year today since Dad died.

Miss you Dad

mumoverseas · 26/01/2010 07:54

Sidge I'm so sorry, it must have been a bad day for you yesterday. I hope you got through it ok. x

Original poster
LilRedWG · 26/01/2010 11:35

Oh Sidge, I hope that you got through yesterday okay. Much love. x

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NancysGarden · 27/01/2010 20:57

Thinking of you Sidge. That's something we're all facing soon enough (if not ralready) it's good to have you ladies who understand.

The plaque has recently been put on Dad's grave. I heard myself say these words today and I just wanted to laugh: still can't believe it.

Love to you all, and "take" my hand, those of us who now face anniversaries in the coming days/weeks.

xxx

Haribolicious · 28/01/2010 21:09

Sidge - hope you got through Monday as best you could.

NancysGarden - hope the plaque on your Dad's grave gives you some comfort.

My family are starting to talk about my Mum's headstone and it's stirred up mixed emotions for me.....on the one hand I can't bear to think of it just yet (seems too final) but on the other, I hate the thought of Mum's grave not being marked somehow....it all seems so insignificant at the mo without some kind of marker.

mumoverseas · 29/01/2010 14:44

Hello all,
Nancy I hope you found the plaque helpful. I hate there being nothing there at mum and dad's grave.

Haribo of course it will stir up mixed emotions. I can fully understand how when I eventually get the gravestone sorted it will make it final and 'real' but I will be glad that it won't be neglected.

I'm dreading some forthcoming anniversaries. Mum's birthday is/was valentines day so that will be crap (mind you DH forgot last year anyway so I will forget this year and make a donation to GOSH instead. Mothers day will be awful for a lot of us too.

Take care

2shoes · 29/01/2010 16:31

sending squonk loads of love xxx

sorry I haven't been on here much, sometimes it is easier iynwim.
can't belive it will be a year on 7th, but will be strangely glad as then I will stop thinking about this time last year.
love to you all.

Original poster
LilRedWG · 29/01/2010 17:59

Same here 2shoes. The 6th and 22nd for me.

Poor Squonk.

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NancysGarden · 29/01/2010 19:19

Also not on MN much these days. What's wrong with Squonk? Have missed that one...

Sidge · 29/01/2010 19:21

Thank you ladies, the anniversaries are hard.

What's up with Squonk? Hope she's OK.

Love to you all xx

2shoes · 30/01/2010 00:18

i did check with Squonk before posting this

I c& P her FB message

"would like to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers for dad - sadly he died on Wednesday morning, very sad but am glad he is not in pain any more."

my thoughts are with squonk and her familyXX

mumoverseas · 30/01/2010 05:22

oh Squonk, I'm so very sorry to read that your dad has lost his long struggle but I hope you can take some relief from the fact he is no longer suffering.
We are all here for you xxx

Haribolicious · 30/01/2010 10:29

So sorry to hear your sad news Squonk.....thinking of you x

Sidge · 30/01/2010 14:43

Oh Squonk I am sorry

Thinking of you xxx

Original poster
LilRedWG · 01/02/2010 18:54

Lovely Squonky - we are all here when you need us. x

Hope you are all okay.

OP posts:
2shoes · 01/02/2010 18:57

when I spoke to Squonk (on fb) she wasn't ready tocome on here, but i will let her know people are thinking of her.