Nancy, 2Shoes, Squonk, Sidge etc: Can you move over here please?

[LilRedWG]

The bloody site just deleted another huge message I'd typed on the thread so can we start this new one please so that I'm allowed on?

I'm not retyping as it made me cry the first time around, surfice to say that you are all in my thoughts. xxx

Thank you ladies.

oh Sidge, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your great aunt. I can totally understand how you feel about not being told. I think I'd feel the same as you about it. It doesn't matter that you couldn't actually attend, what matters is that you knew when it was so you could send flowers and perhaps say a prayer for her at home.

It seemed 100 times worse when mum died after I'd lost dad. There were around 5 years between but mum dying stirred up all the memories of dad too. Feel very sad and lonely sometimes and miss themm so much.

Hugs to everyone xxx

Sorry for your loss Sidge. I too have lost Dad, great uncle, Grandpa, uncle and another uncle just a few weeks ago, all in 15 months. It feels like the wound is re-opened every time and you never get a chance to heal properly. Just migraine after migraine.

I clearly don't have any words of wisdom, just to say try to look after yourself because I don't think I am and other than the migraines, I have gained quite a lot of weight and every time the stress rises I wake up with bloodshot eyes.

It's crap.

Sorry for you too 2shoes. I hope that you are starting to feel a bit better.

Thinking of you all xx

Thank you ladies. I'm sorry we all seem to have suffered multiple losses too

Nancy I'm sorry you have lost so many recently, I totally understand what you mean about the wound reopening. I know it's not family but 2 of my 'regular' patients at work have also died recently, not at all unexpected but still so sad. I feel more and more numb to events like that and rarely cry, just feel so hollow inside. Gosh that sound dramatic but do you know what I mean?

Thinking of you all xxx

I know exactly what you mean. Totally numb and empty.

hello all,
just wanted to say hello and hope everyone is doing ok in their circumstances. Thanks also to those of you who posted on my gloomy self-pitying thread yesterday on the first anniversary of losing mum. Lovely posts from others really helped me.

I've been wondering about haribolicious. My my calculations she should have been due a week to 10 days ago. Anyone 'heard' from her? Hope all ok x

Oh MOS, I missed your thread, I'm so sorry. Keep on going sweetheart. xx

hello folks
how is everyone?
I am ok, although had a wobble.
my db wanted to meet me at dads grave, I just can't, feel I should be ready but just can't.
I think i will just remeber all the rows when we were sorting the house.

2shoes - you will be ready when you are ready. Don't rush yourself honey. x

I'm okay, still having councelling, which helps.

Also, I have some news for my lovely buddies - I'm pregnant (only just though so am very, very terrified nervous as I don't have a obstetric wonderful history.

obstetric wonderful history really means, wonderful obstetric history.

oh how lovely
a new life
I look forwardto you filling this sad thread with happy tales.

Please don't mention on FB - I've not told anyone in RL yet.

Thank you 2shoes.

I'm glad I've made you

2shoes sorry you are having difficulties with your DB. You may recall that I fell out (very badly) with one of my two brothers when mum died and I don't think we'll ever talk again as he was such a twunt at the funeral. I hope you manage to resolve things in time if it is right for YOU.

LilRed fantastic news. Will keep fingers crossed for you xxx

Great new lilred

How is everyone else?

I am approaching Fathers day with trepidation. My second without my Dad. I stil miss him so so much. I can even hear his voice in my head, normally saying things that make me chuckle. Then I feel sad he didn't really say it. I think the men in white coats will come for me soon !

I think I've actually been a bit of a mess for the past 18 months inside. Doing a good job of pretending I am not.

Anyway, we carry on don't we?

Love to all xx

Yes DrN, we do carry on because we have to. I think when we've got DH and the kids we have no choice. To be honest, I don't really think I've been allowed to grieve for mum. The constant eye rolling pretty much put paid to that. I'm sure it will really hit me when the sale of her house goes through. Found out at easter we had an offer and I thought it was supposed to be completing next month but I've seen on rightmove it appears to be back on market so not sure what is going on there. Don't feel up to talking to brother to find out. Think when it finally goes, that will be when it hits me.

I'm dreading fathers day too but of course doing it for DH and kids. I know we'll be thinking of our missing dads though so lets raise a glass to them on the day (mine will have to be home brew) xxx

Thanks for the congratulation ladies - as I said it's very very early days here.

Another one dreading Father's Day here. DH and DD are going camping Saturday night, so I'll get most of Sunday to myself, which will be good I think.

MOS - hopefully when you are home in a few weeks you will have a little space from the eye rolling to start to grieve. Don't push yourself - it will come eventually.

DrN - I know exactly what you mean. The counselling is helping but it is the only time I let anything out and the rest of the time I'm sure most people think I am fine.

Not sure about you ladies, but the whole situation has changed me - made me harder, which I really don't like and I know that my Dad, in particular, wouldn't be happy about.

Love to you all. x

Hi ladies, apologies for the lack of posting but as mentioned before my internet connection isn't the best so I am reading the thread but not really able to post much. On a positive note, I had my DS at just over a week late so things have been a bit hectic (and rather emotional!) would hve loved a girl so that we could use Mum's name but DS is fab nonetheless

Solo - really thoughtful of you to send an anniversary card to your mum....am sure she appreciated that.

MOS - thank you for thinking of me! All is ok but a very emotional time, plus we have the one year anniversary coming up so have been thinking of Mum a lot lately - so sorry I missed your anniversary I've been wondering how to mark the day as I won't be able to get to the cemetery. We'll be looking to sort out the headstone for Mum too in the next month or so (if my Dad and siblings can get their act together and sort themselves out - noone wants to talk abot it but yet everyone wants a say!) its a catch 22 tho as I hate not having the grave marked but also doing it seems so final and absolute. How are things with your DH MOS - have you come to any decisions? Any more news on the sale of your mum's house? It's all very stressful so hope you're doing ok. Are you back in the UK now?

2shoes - I managed to busy myself on my birthday but it wasn't usually a day where I'd see my Mum so that made it a bit easier. Hope you got through it ok.

Sidge - sorry to hear about your great aunt

LilRed - congrats!! Lovely to hear some positive news - hope you're feeling ok

DrNortherner - hope you made it through Father's day...

Am trying to focus on DS at the moment and enjoying this new life but it's hard as Mum's 1 year anniversary is coming up. I've been getting quite upset as I'm not sure how to talk to DS about her. I feel like I'm withdrawing at the moment (a lot of time is taken up with the new baby) and then I'm really tired in the evenings (especially with the heat too!) so I'm not talking to DH much when I really feel like I should be as I'm sure that would help me. I think about it and then when the opportnity arises, I'm falling alseep

Phew, mammoth post! Hugs to all and sorry if I've missed anyone/anything.

Massive congratulations Haribolicious.

I'm sorry that you are struggling though - anniversaries, especially first ones are hard, but know that your Mum knows that DS is here. xx

Haribo, huge congratulations on your yummy little boy. Boys are gorgeous (mind you, I said girls were gorgeous when I had mine)
I totally understand how you feel at the moment. Don't forget, your hormones will be all over the place already without all the emotions about your mum's anniversary. I've found strength in what other lovely ladies on here have told me about our missing parents living on in our little ones and that has made me focus. I often see DD doing something and think 'that is so like mum'. Can't remember, is DS your first DC or have you others? (sorry, feel I should know/remember this)

I know how difficult it is about the gravestone. I want to get it sorted and in fact gave my brother a large(ish) lump sum last autumn towards getting it done. He and other brother were supposed to chip in the same amount and get it sorted but needless to say it hasn't happened. I know it makes it final and they don't want to talk about it but it makes me so sad not having the grave marked. Dad has been dead 6 years this year and the stone was never sorted after he died which makes me both sad and angry.

LilRed is right, your mum knows that your DS is with you and she will be watching over him. Take care and be kind to yourself and your DH.

LilRed how are things with you?

2shoes looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks.

saw some happy news on a chat thread just now. Squonk had a suprise discovery which turned out not to be the menopause

How fabulous for Squonky! I'm so happy for her.

I'm okay thanks - sick as a dog, exhausted and wondering if it may be twins as everything is so pronounced, symptom-wise.

Hoping for a scan tomorrow so will report back. xx

How did I miss this thread full of happy news??!

Haribo many congratulations, so lovely to hear of the safe arrival of your new son

And LilRed such lovely news - I do hope all is going well for you.

And Squonk - many congratulations to you too, wishing you well.

LilRed TWINS! wow, will be checking in here regularly today for an update

sidge, lovely to 'see' you too, hope all is ok with you.

This is turning into a happier thread and I think our parents would be so proud of us all and they will be looking down on all their new grandchildren

Do you know what I just re-read what I posted last night and how badly I worded it

I'm sorry, the happy news is only related to the pregnancies and births, not all the losses.

Sorry for being so tactless, that'll teach me to post quickly.

mumoverseas hello how are things now with you and DH? When are you back in the UK? It would be nice to meet up. IIRC you may be down to HI?

All ok here, DH is back 7 weeks today whoo-hoo!

sidge but it is happy news and I don't think you worded anything badly. Our lovely parents will live on in all these children, that is a lovely and happy thought.

I'm back to the UK TOMORROW! so very excited, have checked in online and this time tomorrow will be halway back sipping/guzzling copious amounts of wine

Things good with DH and I thanks. We may very well be down at HI. The sale of mums place was supposed to be going through in a few weeks and this morning (whilst at hairdressers) we were discussing it and I suddenly wished I'd tried to buy my brothers out as it is a lovely little place in a beautiful private estate which would be fab for kids. I told DH and he phoned my brother and it turns out the potential buyer has really been mucking around, pulled out twice and now offering 20k less. Due to complete in 3 weeks but not exch contacts. DH put it to brother that we buy out him and other brother and he is seriously thinknig about it. DH just phoned his premier account manager and we have mortgage approved in prinicple! So yes, may well be down HI a lot over the coming months!

Very exciting about your DH coming back, are you PM based?

Will touch base when I get back to the real world about meeting up xxx