The very special thread for bereaved mums , dads , grandparents and anyone who has felt the agonising pain of child bereavement . Whatever madness you are feeling you will find a knowing ear .

[travellingwilbury]

Welcome one and all , old and new .

We are all here in all our different stages and memories to support each other along the way .

Awww PPM, your ds1 sounds lovely.

It's nice to know your IL's remember Fraser too FM, but it can floor you can't it.

My parents phoned today and said they were 5 mins away and popping in for a cup of tea, which is unusual as they live over 40 miles away. It turns out they had been to visit C. We cried when my mum mentioned why they were in the area, but I love the fact that they go and see him. We'll be off to wish our darling boy a Merry Christmas tomorrow morning.

I probably won't be on MN for a few days now, so I wish you all love and peace and send extra love to all of our darling children, siblings and grandchildren who won't be with us tomorrow xxx

Wishing you all a peaceful Christmas. Paint on those smiles...

Z x

I feel a bit like an intruder coming on here after being awol for some time. I just wanted to say that I do think of you all often and will be thinking of you and all our loved ones this Christmas time. xxx

Merry Christmas my lovlies xx

merry christmas to all my friendsxx

Hope you're all having christmases that are as 'merry' as possible thank you for this year xxx

Wishing you all a peaceful Christmas

Just wanted to add - my thoughts and hopes are with everyone x

Everyone has full bellys and I have sent my 75 year old Mum home pissed drunk xxx

Thanks for your messages ladies,am at mums on my nieces lappy at the moment!!

Merry Christmas everyone!! love you all xx muchos red wine xx

Morning girls xxx

Hello everyone I hope you have all had a bearable christmas xxx

Love to all x

I have had a house of lurgy over the festivities and now the boys have got it . Joy for me x

morning girlsxxx

Morning girls xx

hey folks - sending love and strength to you all today x

Hi Everyone x

Have had such a weird christmas.

knew it would be but don't think anyone can prepare you for how bittersweet trying to make the best of christmas for surviving son versus the grief for our lost wee one. My parents been here since christmas morning but i'm so ready for them to go now but we had 6-8 inches of snow during the night so they're going no-where today. Got very drunk on christmas day - think it was just the only way i could have got through the day... strangely enough i haven't had a drink since!!

My brother just called and asked if we had a nice christmas - am i being unreasonable to want him to acknowledge the fact that our christmas would have been difficult without our son?! I just keep thinking that everyone else has forgotten about him just because they don't talk about him. My DH thinks that i sometimes make people sad by talking about gregor - tough shit i think cos its my reality. Arghhhhh!!!

Add to this a good friend having a miscarriage at 18 weeks in early hours of boxing day morning - I'm devastated for her - she's been a good friend to me over the months and i've been in touch with her by text but it doesn't stop the pain as this is her 3rd miscarriage in last couple years. Really thought she was going to go the distance this time

Just needed a vent really xx

Oh PPM you expressed so eloquently exactly how our first few Christmases were. They have got gradually easier over the years but I still had that gut wrenching moment yesterday when Dan, Em and Lewis came round for the afternoon.

Lew has a new little Winter hat. The band of colour nearest to the end is a dark blue and it makes his eyes look much darker. When they were going Em put his hat on and it covered his red curls. When he turned around and looked at us both Dan and I set off quickly into the kitchen and just silently cried. It was our Matts face looking up at us - not Lew. He did a cheeky grin at me and I just could not handle it.

After all these years there are those moments that I just cannot cope with.

I know that I dont know your friend but give her a hug from me please xxx

Thanks Shabs xx Don't think i'll see my friend til later in the week - they've got to go back to the hosp tomorrow to discuss postmortem and funeral - just crap crap crappity crap! When I do see her i shall give her an extra squeeze!

Awww your gorgeous Lew - must be really strange to sometimes see Matt staring back.
Silent tears were definitely the order of the day here too. I'm feeling a bit better now. Just needed to get it out.

Hugs for you too Shabs, your strength amazes me xx

Happy, happy 28th birthday to my much loved twins Daniel and Gareth.

Im such a lucky mum - four amazing sons - you couldnt ask for more really xxxxxx

Happy Birthday Gareth and Daniel. Much love Shabs. Thinking of you.

Awww Charley - hiya me owd mucker - my babies are all grown up!!! xxxx

Ooh and the special age on the date birthday. Mine was also 28 on the 28th. Hope today is okay for you.

Thank you Charley - I can remember every last detail of today in 1981!!!! Every last pain, every last tear, every last laugh!!!! I just realised I AM A MULTIPLE MUM!!! LOL I really shouted that very loudly.

How are you and yours my dear friend?

not bad, not bad except G keeps seeing the GOSH adverts and pointing at the telly and saying my brother. He also keeps getting him presents out.

Hope you had a good Christmas.