The very special thread for bereaved mums , dads , grandparents and anyone who has felt the agonising pain of child bereavement . Whatever madness you are feeling you will find a knowing ear .

[travellingwilbury]

Welcome one and all , old and new .

We are all here in all our different stages and memories to support each other along the way .

hi moveit, I will do if a) my placenta has moved and b) baby turns (breech at the moment!). I have a scan on 6th Jan so hopefully both things will have sorted themselves. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

sorry for hijack everyone. I have lit a candle here in oxfordshire for all your little ones and hope you find some comfort in family in friends this chrismas. xx

Hi everyone , everything is a bit manic here but you are all in my thoughts . Thank you to all who have popped by , it is appreciated .

I hope you are all managing to get through these days and the painted faces are staying put .

One step in front of another and remember to breathe x

ohmy god how touching is that we are drawing in others from around the board who just want to say hi and offer support

what a loveley place to be at this time of year

thank you all

afternoon girls,have the two older granddaughters here and i must say they are doing brill ,i explained mummy is sad atm because she is missing jayden,but it is ok to be happy,me and middle girl were dancing in the kitchen with our wellies on and i fell on top of her,poor child shes tiny for her age as didnt have good start as only one kidney functioned so faulty one removed and since then shes brill;but we were laid on the kitchen floor,it was freezing and all we could do was laugh,we eventually got up and she went into room to tell her big sister, shes 6 and just said i dont want to know,and grandma stop been silly,i have been warned now.
well im working tomorrow but will come on ,but i want to thank each and everyoone of you girls for holding my hands and been there for me,walking with me in this shitty,crappy path,id never got through it without you,your all amazingxxx

shabs such a lovely song and so bloody truexxxxxxxxxx

your grand-daughters sound great Hazy - I can picture you both dancing.

xxxx

Been searching for the right words for hours and, its quite possible, that these will NOT be the right ones!!! Here goes!

Im grateful to have you ladies as my friends - we dont have to meet in real life - we are all walking this crappy painful path together. No matter if our grief is new and raw or older and filled with longing, we all prop each other up on bad, down days.

All our children - young and older - will be so very proud of us. We have formed a tight knit community on MN - a place where we can go and talk about our precious children without fear of ridicule and with complete compassion and understanding.

I am very grateful to have all of you. I hope everyones Christmas is as good as it possibly can be and that 2010 will bring good health, happiness and a little spare money xxxxx

iliketomoveit thanks, I do get what you mean. I have other worse ones that come back very suddenly and unexpectedly, in PICU mostly also one from her very last night on PICU and one from the ward, and I think they are pretty much all about me not doing something that with hindsight I would have done. So crystal clear though it really shakes me. I just want to shout out I'm sorry...Glad to hear I am not too mad...!

hope all are OK today. Thank you to all for the christmas wishes, I wish everyone a peaceful time.

Had hospital appointment earlier and have pre-eclampsia again with this pregnancy (but have been fine til now)so they want to induce me if BP is still up at tomorrow's appt. If it's not as high then I may be off the hook.. could be a painful christmas!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/882711-Who-will-you-be-missing-this-Christmas

couldnt put it better myself shabs

I was soo lost before feedmenow came along 18 months ago and told us of Eris..

I have posted soo many things on here that I think make me sound mad and at least one of you will come back and say ..oh that happened to me too.. I think you have all done more for me in the last 18 months than any counselling could

so thank you and hope you all have a good xmas (well as good as you can expect when you are grieving)

oops my xmas baileys is empty

hello been a bit distracted recently. Struggling atm. DP bought the balloon i wanted earlier couldnt get a round one so have a star shaped one to ttached db's christmas cards to. Going to let it go on christmas day with messages from my parents and db too. Only thing that mattered about the balloon was the colour, it had to be blue. Looks just like the yamaha blue.

I wouldnt worry to much about a bottle of baileys FM. My christmas Jack daniels, vodka and 3 cases of lager have all needed to be replaced

thanks everlong. DB isn't getting away with not being brought into christmas. He's already been tinseled

Evening all, presents now wrapped and under stairs.

DS keep talking about sharing his presents with his brother and it is breaking my heart.

Hope all well. Have been lighting candles hope everything okay with you Lottie and Hazy. Sorry for absenteeism. Have a good Christmas one and all.

Morning girls xxxxx

morning,
I wish i had put all my presents under the stairs ds has oopened some again this morning grr. its getting old now lol

Good morning everyone , Shabs I echo everything you said .

I have been trying really hard to do the whole christmas thing for my boys and all has gone pretty well , but since my mum and step dad turned up I am struggling to keep the face on . I think they have both brought the flu with them . Oh bloody joy , they are wandering around looking all pathetic , when they are up anyway , the rest of the time they are sleeping . I know I sound really mean and not very sympathetic but if we all get it I will be cross

I hope everyone is ok this morning xx

Morning all.

I must admit when i first posted here in august i never really thought it'd be any more than a place to vent but what you ladies bring to my life is SO SO much more than that.

You provide reassurance in a life that has been turned upside down, you are a warm hug when i need one, you make me realise that whatever I am feeling it is normal and ok to feel it.

So from the bottom of my heart thank you all for being there. I wish you all health, happiness and peace. xxx

Hi TW, totally get where you're at with your parents - mine are coming tomorrow morning, they were going to come today but i'm so glad they're not as i very selfishly want christmas morning just to be us. Just take a big deep breath - then go find some of that bottled christmas spirit xx

I was doing fine till my inlaws (who are in the carribean) had a beautiful floral wreath delivered for fraser... right then was when the other shoe dropped..

Up till then I had been dancing and singing with Ross .. I just dissolved into a puddle of tears...

god this is a hard road

Awww how beautiful FM. It is very, very hard but we will all get there xxxxxx

Oh FM I can only imagine how that must have felt xx get your dancing shoes back on and have an extra wee boogie for fraser xxxx

DS1 has been having loads of 'missing gregor' moments over the last week expecially. It's weird but expected I suppose that his grief is also heightened at this time. He was hilarious this morning... He's got a pack of kids christmas tattoos and he insisted on taking our GP four of them (one for him and each of his three kids!) when we went in for a checkup this morning - very cute!!