Gareth and Matthews thread for bereaved Mummies - the special thread where the light bulb at the end of the tunnel is always lit xx

[shabbapinkfrog]

So pleased that we are all here helping each other walk the 'crappy' path xxxx

Tom will be getting on the coach now to Alton Towers. He only allowed me to walk part of the way to school with him then off he went 240 of them are going - 5 coach loads!! Now I will spend the day worrying about him - has he got enough money, hope he will go on the rollercoasters (he has a massive fear of heights) but also hoping he wont!!! This does not go any easier!

Good morning all , Shabs you are nearly half way through the day now , I hope you are holding up ok xxx

Im doing fine love - he texted me at 10 to say they have arrived safe and sound. I hope he is having an absolute blast..... awwwwww he told me he is the youngest one on the trip he only turned 12 at the end of July - I replied 'its a shame Tom you are the youngest one with the oldest mum the little monkey replied 'LMFAO'

Oh my dear God - I am just watching Stephen Gatelys funeral live on Sky News - I was ok till a choir started singing - now I am a massive sobbing wreck.....a sad loss. xx

Oh Shabbs
I have been avoiding any tv today in case they were showing it anywhere . It is so sad , another young life lost .

All the members of Boyzone have just paid tribute to him and it was both funny and heartbreaking

I havent seen the footage..will probs cry when I do..doesnt take much prompting.. 33 is just no age ..if God has a plan I wish he would bloody well share it

when is Tom due back

Did Tom enjoy his day at Alton Towers Shabs?

Hiya girls - Tom got back about 7pm....he insisted on walking down on his own - its only a ten minute walk but it was very dark. Luckily his primary school friend, Shannon, walked down and her Dad met them. He has had the greatest day....DH bought him a new track suit - light grey Tshirt material - he looked good enough to eat. He said - 'all the girls said I looked really cute' One happy lad and he managed to bring home a whole 1p out of £13

Aw, i'm glad he had a good time - it'll have done him the power of good

Hope everyones as ok as they can be today x

So sorry to hear about dh's uncle TPS.

How did your meeting at work go TW?

It sounds like Tom is making the transition from boy to young man Shabs

I bloody love rollercoasters and scary rides

How are you feeling Dee? Knackered or blooming? I NEVER done the while blooming thing

I'm ok ta. Definately not blooming though. More of a wilt if i'm honest.

It must be difficult looking after 2 and being pg. Is dp been 'allowed' to spend the weekends with you or is it still ongoing?

I don't want to say anything trite like 'make sure you look after yourself. make time for yourself' etc, as we all know that's pretty much impossible when you have a family. There's always something that needs doing.

Morning girls xx

Ah, he's here this weekend, and has just presented me with a bacon butty, love him! Doubtful about next weekend as his DS has half term this week - different to my DS's half term which is the week after. So i won't be seeing so much of him this week, but... he's moving in the week after!!! Am a bit 'cited and can't wait to wake up with him every morning - god that sounds so daft, doesn't it?

Whooooooooooo Hoooooooooooo Dee - that sounds wonderful to me

morning everyone xx

Been busy this week as DS1's school been off this week too. School's back tomorrow though!

Have any of you had problems looking after other peoples children since your wee ones died? I know I have, which is why i ask... Over the last couple of months i've managed to look after my friends kids for an hour or so here and there but last night I managed to babysit for a friend's children. They were both tucked up in bed when i arrived but the fact that DS2 never woke up from his nap makes that just the most difficult thing for me to do. I lost count of the number of times i checked them! I realise so much of what i'm feeling is totally irrational but it doesn't stop me feeling it!

Planning to meet boss again this week - in the office this time if i feel up to it and maybe I'll manage to catch up with a few colleagues too.

Is anyone else out there dreading christmas but knowing the show must go on for surviving siblings?! When I lift my head above the current stuff all i can see is Christmas, Gregor's birthday and then his anniversary... it's just relentless isn't it

AWW peterpan unfortunately I can relate to all of this..
When you are mum you worry all the time about your own kids and worry more about other people's kids in your care - thats normal

When you are a bereaved mummy those feelings are soo much stronger

I dont have words of wisdom re christmas .. I still find it really hard. DH likes to go see Fraser on xmas morning .. I think its too hard for me and for Ross to see his mumy in tears on xmas day but I cant let him go alone on xmas morning . I think last year I took tw's advice and we went xmas eve and kept xmas morning for Ross.

Jesus - and they say there is a God.

I've just heard that a lady i know from another forum, her nine year old daughter died in her arms this morning.

Incomprehensible.

So for your friends Dee - doesn't make any sense at all does it?

After all these years I dont dread Christmas like I used to....for many, many years I didn't send cards etc. Now we invite my parents up and Dan, Em and Lew come round in the morning. The first Christmas is utter crap though - I remember that one very well. All I can advise is be kind to yourself - dont set yourself impossible tasks like feeding the 5,000. If you want fish fingers for Christmas dinner bloody well have them.

Keep posting on here - last Christmas Day I needed a 'moment' with friends on Mumsnet Had to have a small rant!!! I just needed to have all my lads sat round having their Christmas lunch. xxx

ive just finished work and my sister picked me up ,and we went round shops and i looked at all christmas things ,my sister turned round and said oh how lovely to hear you mention christmas as i know how you have hated it since jayden died,so maybe three years down the line this one will be a bit easier,once we get first over with
ppm just take it easy love,our shabs leads us the way,

Hi all,

Funeral all over, not long back from the funeral meal. It was sad, but DH's uncle was a really bad alcoholic. He was only 49 a couple of weeks ago but looked decades older. He died because his major organs and brain were so affected by alcohol. It's so sad, when I first met him approx 12 years ago, he was happily married with a little girl, he just started by drinking every day and then more.... his wife eventually left him with their child and now she is with someone else with two further children. Thing is he was such a nice man.

Oh well.

Glad T got on well shabba, sounds like he's going to be breaking hearts!

Congrats Dee, but on the other hand, I'm sorry about the child you know of.

I'm minding my sister's daughter from next Saturday for a week. My sister is going to my mum's for a week with her DH and other 3 kids. (my sister has a severely disabled daughter with the same syndrome mine died from- she's 6).

I'm paranoid she's going to get sick or something will happen while they are away.

My sister deserves the break so I'm keeping stum!

Me, Dh and the two Dc will have to move over to their house as DN had a lot of medical equpipment she relies on and it can't be moved.

Does anyone else find that they are less able for any stress since you know what?

What with the house application etc etc (that we still haven't heard from) and now a funeral I feel so wiped out. I know every time I attend a funeral in the same graveyard it brings Mirrin's all back but I thought I was a lot more able for stress than I seem to be.

Or maybe I just want to waffle on to someone???

Morning girls xx