Gareth and Matthews thread for bereaved Mummies - the special thread where the light bulb at the end of the tunnel is always lit xx

[shabbapinkfrog]

So pleased that we are all here helping each other walk the 'crappy' path xxxx

JANUARY

20th Jan,1992 Billies birthday (Chegirl)

FEBRUARY

28th Feb,2008 Lucies birthday (Crumpette)

MARCH

11th March 2008, Eris's Birthday & Remember Day (FeedMeNow)

APRIL

3rd April,2007 Benjamins remember day (Charleymouse)
12th April,2009 Lucies remember day (Crumpette)
13th April, 2005 Frasers remember day (FMummy)
15th April, 2005 Frasers birthday (FMummy)
27th April, 2006 Billie's remember day (chegirl)

MAY

10th May,1992 Matts remember day (Shabbs)
24th May,1993 Christinas birthday (B.Butterfly)

JUNE

25th June,1993 Christinas remember day (B.Butterly)
30th June, 2009 Niamhs birthday and remember day (Woolly Jo)
30th June, 1984 Matts birthday (Shabbs)

JULY

13th July - Callums remember day (LittleMissPMeno)
21st July, 1982 Gareths remember day (Shabbs)
23rd July,2009 Nimahs funeral (Woolly Jo)
29th July, 2008 Caitlins birthday (Olissa)
30th July. Coles birthday (Liketomoveit)

AUGUST

3rd August, 2008 Caitlins remember day (Olissa)
5th August,2009 Felix's birthday and remember day (Tinkerbelle)
8th August - Callums funeral (LittleMissPMeno)

SEPTEMBER

9th September Ciarans birthday and remember day (Deemented)
18th September,2006 Jaydens birthday (Hazygirl)

OCTOBER

1st October - Ciarans funeral (Deemented)
7th October,2000 Harrys birthday (TWilbury)

NOVEMBER

6th November 2008 - Oliver's Remember Day (Everlong)
7th November - Coles remember day (ILiketomoveit)
20th November 1987 - Oliver's Birthday (Everlong)

DECEMBER

1st December,2006 Jaydens remember day (Hazygirl)
2nd December,2001 Harrys remember day (TWilbury)
18th December,2006 Jaydens funeral (Hazygirl)
22nd December,1994 Jacks birthday and remember day (Lottie)
28th December,1981 Gareths (and Dannys) birthday

I did know it was Eris, I have no idea why I put Erin

I have just looked at your thread TW. I have left a message but words can't express how I felt when I read it. It was all too familiar and I just want to give you a big hug in person, not a cyber hug.

lighthouse - we don't have Noah on our list. Would you like him to be so we can all remember his day's?

Ta love I can still type over 100 wpm but the computer does my farkin' head in

I 'blagged' my way into a job once where I had to use the PC all day I would sit at it with the manual open at the side. I have an excuse - Im a daft owd biddie!!! OMG how can I make my shoulders go down and my neck stop being so stiff? I feel like one of those muscle men in the Gladiators!!

Come here Shabs and I will give you a neck rub ( and a v large gin )

Im getting on my own nerves with it to be honest. I think its lifting Lew up and down all day and all the events from the last few days. Lewis is cutting about 8 teeth all at once and is very fretful. I must lift him up and put him down about 100 times a day. He weighs about 22 pounds so I dont think that is helping. All day today 'Anma, Anma, ANMA!!' 'What darling?' 'Up, up peeese.' Love him to bits but I am sooooooooooo knackered.

I remember that feeling , just because you love him doesn't mean he can't be annoying and tiring

More gin ? no ice or slice or tonic just as you like it xx

Im a posh bird aint I???

Do you mind if I link this thread to your thread? Your post has made me cry...I agree with your every word. I didnt want to gatecrash your thread without asking. There are several bereaved mummies on there. If you dont want me to I will not be offended in any way - just shout up. xxxxx

No please do , I did mention this thread but didn't link for some reason

Sorry I made you cry , shite isn't it ?

Told you what my Nana Elsie used to say!!! I havent peed for days been too busy crying My family talk about the boys all the time but my in laws never, ever mention them - as though they never existed - farkin' weirdo's xxxx

Your nana Elsie sounds fab

I can actually remember having to drink more water so I could cry again , so I am with her on that .

Didn't wee much either ut that is probably down to the de hydrating property of vodka

She was a rum owd bugger!! Her mum had two sets of non identical twin girls and then a single girl. Nana Elsie died about 5 years ago in her 90th year. She was only about 3lbs in weight when she was born. Had a very rough, hard working life and was the only one of 5 girls who didn't die from the 'side affects' of alzhaimers (sp?) she reminded me of Thora Hird - especially when she starred in one of the episodes of the Dinner Ladies. She was so honest it would make you have panic attacks Fab, fab, fab lady!!! Often 'ask' for her help when things are rough

Hopefully she is listening at the minute , and it sounds like your boys will now be in grand hands xx

Oh yes they will be love - she adored all my lads. She would be a great-great grandma if she was here now - NO I take that back she is a great-great grandma Think I have had too much cider apple juice!

I have had a couple too

Bugger it , if I can't have a drink tonight then when can I ?

I think I might have to go up the wooden hill in a minute , Daniel has just woken up and decided it is time to get up
Have sent him back up but I have a feeling I mightbe summoned in the not so distant future . dh is out tonight so I have to be the grown up .

Being a grown up sucks sometimes xx

Hello everyone.

I know this week has been hard for so many of you so I feel a bit of a wimp but didnt have a great day today. Feeling a bit weepy (blame my preg hormones).

My darling DS2 seems to have been diagnosed with a learning disability. We obviously know he has delays. Always knew he would probably stuggle due to his v.traumatic beginings (long story, some of you know he is adopted from OH's family).

But after a few weeks of assessment I got a bit of a shock when consultant said he did seem to have this condition. I was watching him speak and expecting the total opposite to come out of his mouth!

I find spending time in hosptial very very stressful. DS always talks about Billie when we go anywhere near one. This is fine because I love to talk about her but it reminds me of just how deeply my children have been affected my her illness and passing.

Also just get v.tense in clinical environments. So many triggers. I think the sight of the nice consultant coming over to me with his 'news to give' face on set me off. Seen that face too many times (though in much worse circumstances of course).

I feel guilty for feeling sad and upset. Its ok, its not cancer (sorry to be so blunt but that is how I measure most things these days). But he has such a lot to deal with.

TW think your other thread is very special and it will help a lot of people. I hope it has helped you a bit too.

hiya chegirl - I know what you mean about hospitals. When DS1 was about 15 he tore the ligaments in his ankle. We were put in the corridor next to the family room where our Matt had been about 8 years before. Dan and I sat there - having private panic attacks until my darling lad got up and said 'Either you move me and my Mam away from our Matts room or I am going home.' A shocked receptionist came along and he told her the whole story. She ended up in tears and we were put in a waiting room that seemed about 5 miles away.

You can deal with these 'difficulties' che - like you said yourself - its not cancer. I dont think you were being blunt you were putting the correct perspective on it. You will be fine - I know you will xxxxxx

Ta x

Its a postive thing really. It means we have something.

But it does mean more flippin appointments!

Poor little bugger at least we know why he looks like he is trying to translate a foreign language when being spoken to.

Che , I hate hospitals now as well , from the smell , to the people moaning becuase drs are taking too long and running late . I am just thankful not to be the family that the dr is spending loads of time with .

You shouldn't feel guilty , I know that when Harry was first given his diagnosis which was very rae and more on the sn side than physical I was sad and down for a while , it is a bereavement in itself .

The thing that helped me was I just kept thinking that whatever they said he was still my boy and he had no idea what was expected of him and he would be who he was with or without the diagnosis .

You will cope with all this but that doesn't make it easy .

Big hugs to you xx

I'll see you in my dreams

Just wanted to add a beautiful song in honour of Harry - TW tomorrow will be ok - we will all try to help. This song reminds me so much of all our children who are not 'physically' here.

Wanted to wish Harry a happy birthday and let him now how much he is loved by his family.

I am a little early but, TW, you have been on my mind all day

Thank you Shabs that song is beautiful xx

I am off to bed now , speak to you tomorrow , I hope you manage to get some sleep xx

You too my love...see you in the morning xxxxx

Morning girls xx

Morning all.

And a happy birthday to your darling Harry TW. Gone, but not forgotten.

You will all be in my thoughts today and I will light a candle for Harry and see it as a candle on his birthday cake.

xxx

Sorry to hear your news Che, fwiw you have exactly the same perspective on the situation as I would.

I too hate hospitals, which is one of the reasons why I had a homebirth with M. The only time I went to the hospital was for scans.

DH and I would like to go back to the hospital C was treated in and see the Dr's and nurses again, but the thought of stepping into that building again makes me feel very anxious. I hope I can face it one day.