Gareth and Matthews thread for bereaved Mummies - the special thread where the light bulb at the end of the tunnel is always lit xx

[shabbapinkfrog]

So pleased that we are all here helping each other walk the 'crappy' path xxxx

morning shabba, I hope you managed some sleep and weren't too upset by all that nasty stuff yesterday.
Thank you for your kind words. I've lurked a bit on your thread for a while but never brave enough to post as although my m/c was so devestating for DH and I, it was nothing compared to what you and the other lovely ladies have gone through.
I've been on bereavement a lot in recent months since losing my mum and whenever I see a parent experiencing a new loss I always hope that you find them and take them under your wing. You are truly a wonderful person. I hope you have a better day today x

Thank you so much. xx

Shabba- I read that thread in chat before it was deleted (22 pages) and you weren't called any names.

Only positive stuff about you and Dee people hoping you're both ok.

Sorry for the losses you've suffered. Truly awful.

Morning shabs and all.

Hope you're doing ok this morning. I see everything has been deleted and assume there was no resolution? I had to stop reading early evening - couldn't take any more either way.

mumoverseas - lurking is allowed and you're always welcome here. The loss of my son was technically a miscarriage, but it doesn't change how I felt and continue to feel. Would the loss have felt that much greater if I'd given birth ten days later and he'd been sillborn. I doubt it.

We all grieve in different ways for different things, so please don't feel you have to be brave.

Thanks love...I know it sounds crazy but I was up for a fight yesterday normally I dont go anywhere on a Sunday but I went to my best friends DS's birthday party and I was itching to go on her PC and check! Must admit though it will never stop me from trying to help other bereaved mums - just wish we could find out the truth and hope to God, either way, that the MNetter who they were all flaming is OK xxx

Sorry to gatecrash, but I would like to say how wonerful I think MN can be. I saw some of that please read thread just as it was deleted. I do hope none of you lovely ladies have been affected by it, and I hope you continue to support each other. It is a great place for some, and we shouldn't let others ruin it.

I hope you all have a Happy Monday

Yunno, it's still all speculation at this point. Nothing has been proved either way, but the witch hunt that has gone on has left a very nasty taste in my mouth.

If DM is indeed a troll, then she obviously needs some serious help.

If she's not a troll, then by god, some people have a lot to answer for.

Either way, there's no way that DM could realisticly come back here, is there? Whatever she says or does next will be completely disbelieved, or viewed with sceptacism.

So, what next? Are we all to be viewed with suspiscion until we can prove we are genuine? Do we have to provide death certificates/ photographs of our precious children to prove what we say is true?

I for one am heartily fucking sick of the way the MN clique has played judge, jury and exocutioner - and this being the latest in a long line of 'trial by MN'.

I have to say, i'm questioning my future around here a great deal.

oh Dee, sorry you are so upset by it all. I feel as sick about it as you do and am thinking of sticking to real life in future. I thought this last week when I got 'attacked' by some loons on a legal thread and after yesterday, not sure its a place I want to be anymore.
Its terrible when we feel like this as I've had some wonderful support on some of these threads from a group of ladies who have also recently lost their parents. Very sad

,you stay you are bloody wonderful as are the rest of the ladies here,xxpleases look after yourself , will be back tnite as just finished night shift.hugs ,big ones to you all.

Oh lordy. I wasn't around yesterday.

To summarise: we don't know whether DM's story is real or not? And no doubt we will never know.

How did the suspicion come about?

Dee - there will always be people on MN (and in RL) who are unable to have a balanced opinion, don't let it affect what we have on this thread.

Hiya Likeit - no we have no idea if the story is true or not. Someone started a thread voicing their opinions and saying Dizzy was a troll. The thread got deleted and then another was started....this too got deleted. It was truly horrible.

I feel so sure that MNHQ could do more - I just feel so sad for Dizzy wether she is telling the truth or not. 17 years ago after Matt was killed and having lost Gareth 10 years before I think I would be accused of being a troll if I had come on and told my story. My life was like an episode of Jeremy Kyle for years and years and years.

Good morning all , big hugs all round to all x

There is nothing much I can add to what has already been said but it wouldn't stop me holding out a hand to someone else and thats all that really matters .

Well said TW xxx

Shabs, I thought that many of our lives could be viewed as 'not terribly realistic plots for soaps' as well - in fact I've said as much to various RL friends before...

I wish we could know for certain but I can't see that we ever will.

Hope everyone is OK x

Ladies - I've got the gist of what's been said elsewhere and I just wanted to come here and say that it's never wrong to stretch out your hands to somebody and haul them along when their feet won't carry them.

Sometimes on a forum like this you can end up helping somebody who isn't what you thought - which is why we all of course exercise due caution. What people won't do though is limit the amount of compassion we have to give. I sometimes think that's what the trollhunters want us to do. To treat our compassion, our help like a finite resource that we have to guard against raiders. Well bollocks to that. I'm not made that way.

Hope you are all ok and that everybody stays posting here. You are all so needed, the care you give to one another so valuable, the feeling you have for others in your situation so powerful.

Without wishing to intrude, simply want to remind you here on this very special thread that for every one hurting parent who posts here or begins their own thread which you respond to, there are so many who read it but never quite pluck up the courage to take part. They may read it whilst in the early throes of their grieving, they may read it further along the line, but they are out there.
Although that isn't my story, can I express my deepest respect for the support and solace you indirectly give them.

Feel a bit like this poem this morning:-

The pain does not dissipate
It penetrates and hides within;
So that the world,
Seeing the outward smile,
The composed manner,
Hearing the tempered voice
Forgets.

Removing the mask,
Lifting the veil,
Peering behind the facade
Revels a torment
The world has no desire to know.

That is so true Shabs

How you doing ? I am not scared of whats behind the mask x

OK, at long last, Im going to post 'our list' If I have missed anyone out or put the wrong details please let me know.

JANUARY

20th Jan,1992 Billies birthday (Chegirl)

FEBRUARY

28th Feb,2008 Lucies birthday (Crumpette)

APRIL

3rd April,2007 Benjamins remember day (Charleymouse)
12th April,2009 Lucies remember day (Crumpette)
13th April, 2005 Frasers remember day (FMummy)
15th April, 2005 Frasers birthday (FMummy)

MAY

10th May,1992 Matts remember day (Shabbs)
24th May,1993 Christinas birthday (B.Butterfly)

JUNE

25th June,1993 Christinas remember day (B.Butterly)
30th June, 2009 Niamhs birthday and remember day (Woolly Jo)
30th June, 1984 Matts birthday (Shabbs)

JULY

13th July - Callums remember day (LittleMissPMeno)
21st July, 1982 Gareths remember day (Shabbs)
23rd July,2009 Nimahs funeral (Woolly Jo)
29th July, 2008 Caitlins birthday (Olissa)
30th July. Coles birthday (Liketomoveit)

AUGUST

3rd August, 2008 Caitlins remember day (Olissa)
5th August,2009 Felix's birthday and remember day (Tinkerbelle)
8th August - Callums funeral (LittleMissPMeno)

SEPTEMBER

9th September Ciarans birthday and remember day (Deemented)
18th September,2006 Jaydens birthday (Hazygirl)

OCTOBER

1st October - Ciarans funeral (Deemented)
7th October,2001 Harrys birthday (TWilbury)

NOVEMBER

9th November - Coles remember day (ILiketomoveit)

DECEMBER

1st December,2006 Jaydens remember day (Hazygirl)
2nd December,2001 Harrys remember day (TWilbury)
18th December,2006 Jaydens funeral (Hazygirl)
22nd December,1994 Jacks birthday and remember day (Lottie)
28th December,1981 Gareths (and Dannys) birthday

I feel sure that every detail on our list is wrong - I was a nervous wreck doing it - if anything is wrong, at all, please shout up. I will not be offended and will gladly change it or add to the list.

Wow ! that is weird seeing all the names written down like that , I am glad we have got it but bloody sad at how full it looks .

Harry was born in 2000 but it wouldn't surprise me if I had put the wro0ng date in the first place

Oh poo sorry Che I have already noticed I have missed out Billies remember day. How do I change it girls - shouldn't have done this today not feeling 100%

How do I change it TW?