Harry's thread for bereaved mums , Wether its a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on we are all here one for all and all for one .

[travellingwilbury]

Many thanks to ILike for passing on the baton to myself and Harry . I know we are a bit previous but I am worried I will get the timing wrong .

I feel like I have only been here a wee while but it is invaluable to me .

This is a poem that has helped me in the past .

I have not turned my back on you
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from heaven
Just beyond the morning sky.

I've seen you almost fall apart
When you could barely stand.
I asked an angel to comfort you
And watched her take your hand.

She told me you are in more pain
Than I could ever be.
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard
Then gave your hand to me.

Although you may not feel my touch
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you
While I wiped each tear you cried.

So please try not to ache for me
We'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky
A rainbow lights the way.

Awwww Charley - congratulations on your 'bun!!' must be something 'catching' on our thread If you have all been sitting on the same chair dont let me go near it

Sorry so much has been going on - hope you get sorted.

Awwwwwwwwwww what wonderful news xxxx

afternoon girls ,good news were going to hear so many little patter of feet in the next few months, it will be lovely.
the weather is sunny have just been up to jaydens garden ,and the sun is lovely up there , its such a lovely place just wish it wasnt so sad if you know what i mean,
we had all three girls this week and the little one is learning to tantrum ,its so funny ,red hair realy suits her, i just cant help thinking what would it be like if only he was still here.
shabs im like you red haired but dyed it for years,it is going grey now under neath,my mums hair started going grey when she was four,they said with shock of her mum dying and going to live in an orphanage ,shes 73 now.

Congratulations Charleymouse
I'm liking getting a bit of good news, has been thin on the ground of late. So you and Melissa getting pg has lightened the mood considerably. Hope all goes well.
Caitie's garden is also a beautiful place (it's a nature reserve!) I saw a pheasant there yesterday, it walked right up to me while I was planting pansies and gave me a bit of a shock. Although it's in the news at the moment - apparently they accidentally buried a 19-year-old man in the wrong plot His mum wants to move him somewhere else entirely now, which is very sad but also understandable.
Really must get on with looking for a new job - my old employer has just announced over 1000 more jobs are going. Again, very but I really must get another job before the competition increases hugely!

Olissa, I had a similar thing last year at the graveyard where Jack is buried. There are two other little boys buried there and I knelt down beside the grave of one of them and a baby rabbit jumped out from behind the grave next door! I dont know who got the bigger fright!

Hmmm... having a bit of a downer tonight... can you look here and give me your thoughts, folks?

Hello Dee.

It sounds to me that your friend, rightly or wrongly, is so wrapped up in her own grief that she simply cannot comprehend how anyone else can feel as bad (or worse than) her.

I dont feel this is likely to change can you? How can you make her see how devestated you are at the loss of your boy without it becoming a sort of competition? If you try and explain what it is like to lose a child she may feel that you are trying to trump her in some way. If she cannot already empathise it is not likely that she ever will.

Why torture yourself? You havent done anything wrong. Being unable to 'give' after the loss of a child is not a crime. I am sorry that this woman has suffered the pain of infertility but she is unreasonable to take it out on you. Its not fair and its not right.

Its not as bad but - I have a friend who I think a lot of. We were trying to get pg at the same time. I am 10yrs older than her and didnt think I would manage. She was having problems and I felt desperate for her. I did fall pg and she dropped me. I could understand that it was hard for her but what upset me was that she had a SD around the same age of my DD. SHE did not seem to think I might find it hard to have a teenage girl around the house. She used to bring her round to visit and I would never have allowed my feelings to make her feel unwelcome. I wouldnt of dreamed of shutting her out just because she was lucky enough to have a DSD. I felt let down to say the least.

Many congrats Charleymouse on your news. Hope all goes well.

Hope everyone else is okay.

Things stressful here at the mo, we are supposed to be exchanging contracts on our house next Thurs as our buyers need to be in by the 20th. Have found out today our solicitor has done sweet FA regarding our purchase as they were sending stuff to the wrong solicitor, it didn't occur to them to keep chasing up why no paperwork etc was being returned despite me breathing down their necks checking that it was all progressing ok. So I think it is going to be a very stressful next 7 days!

Good morning girls xx

Morning

How's the grey pube shabs?

So many congratulations charleymouse, such wonderful news

Good luck with the solicitor lighthouse. Make sure you don't allow yourself to get too stressed in 'your condition'. Buying and selling houses is soooooooo stressful and things like that really don't help.

Congratulations charleymouse

Well brought up Ilike , I had forgotten to mention the greying nether regions

How did the haircut go Shabs ?

I have got a busy day today , lots of shopping to do for my youngests birthday on monday . We are having a party on sunday so need to get organised . I suppose I should clean the house in preparation for it being trashed

You swines!!!!!

Haircut is quite posh!!! My hair filled the entire hairdressers floor by the time she had finished!

morning girs

Life is just soo bloody hard

Mum collapsed when she was out on Tuesday and is now back in hospital AGAIN

we have had 3 goldfish deaths this week.. yeah I know its not a great tragedy but it is to Ross so I have had this to deal with

Congrats Melissa and Charleymouse.. YOu know we will al be praying for a safe outcome for you

Lighthouse I hope you get the house sorted very soon, you have enough to cope with .. how long do you have to go now

Must be the season to party Ross will be 4 on Tuesday so we are having 15 kids..how many are you having TW??

Dee I am not convinced that friendship is worth pursuing..but writing a letter seems like a nice idea and at least you will know you werent the one who ended it

OMG

Ross has just appeared with icing on his face...

saying I have just tried a little bit of my b/day cake...

it has a whole in the corner and the icing is smudged...how the hell am I going to serve that !!!!

Life is a bloody test .. I know it .. and I am failing it

morning girls...
Charleymouse, congratulations on your pregnancy...we can share stories as we go.

Dee, I read the link you put of your friendship...someone responded and I too think it is a good idea, to put your thoughts in a letter, then that way you get all your thoughts and feelings down on paper, then you can read it over, change it if you want, and send it if you want...or you may just want to keep it. I find it is like writing in a diary, it lets you get your thoughts onto paper, and then it allows you to gather your thoughts, and organize them, as opposed to having them swirl around in your head. Also, on the topic of MSN, texting, emails etc...IME, I have found that thoughts and words can be thoroughly misconstrued, whereas in a letter or F2F, there is not so much of a chance of that happening. Anyway, hope you can sort it out...IMO, it does not sound like a positive relationship, but I am seeing it from the outside, and only you know your true feelings and how "deep" your friendship with your friend goes. It is unfortunate that she is Boyo's Godparent, but IMO, if she was committed to that, she would continue to have that relationship even if she felt badly about your relationship with her...because she made a committement to Boyo. If it were me, I would walk away though, because she sounds really bitter that you have had a child, and it does not sound like she is going to be able to get over that. Sorry if this all sounds confusing, I have just sort of sat here and typed.

Things a little hectic my way this weekend...it is the school end of term holidays, and as a teacher, I luckily enjoy them too! The fam and I are off to Greece on Sunday for ten days. Problem is, my PG is causing a lot of sickness at the mo so it is taking every bit of energy I can muster to sort out the packing and organsing for the kids and me...DH is on his own for his own packing!!!

Frasersmummy...when it rains it pours doesn't it...sounds like you have had a really rough week. PLEASE do not think badly of me, but when I read that Ross came to you with the icing on his face, it did put a smile on my face, as it sounds so cute, but I know all too well that being in the situation, it is not a smiling or cute matter! Can you perhaps fix the corner with some extra icing? It has been done before If not, the kids at the party probably won't notice, they are only interested in the eating aspect of the cake! Sorry to hear about the goldfish, three in one week ...definately not luck on your side there. Hope your Mum is ok?

Thanks for all your wonderful advice. I've decided that at the moment i can't give her any energy - i have enough to deal with on my plate without taking her on too. Maybe when i'm feeling a little stronger, but maybe not.

But here's another dilema for you to help me with, if you'd be so kind...

Love to you all folks xxx

Dee...I am a mess with matching fashion sense...but I just wanted to say, I love your outfit...purple is my favourite colour! You will look fabulous I am sure! Where did you get the dress from? I am off to a garden party at Buck House in the summer an have been in the market for a dress for the occasion, and love the look of your dress! Hope the baptism goes well!

of course I dont think badly of you Melissa

I have patched up the cake and in hindsight it was funny

What good deeds and/or works got you invited to the garden party??

I got invited to the holyrood garden party in 2000.. it was a really lovely day out

I think the outfit is lovely Dee. I am a fashion QUEEN . I know where you got your shoes from.

re the leg problem. You can get tights with no seams in the toe so they look better with peephole shoes. Or you treat yourself to a spray tan on your legs or you could get some stocking cream (I think benefit do one).

Aw, thanks girls.

The whole outfit is from Evans £40 for the dress, £16 for the cardi and a bargainous tenner for the shoes. I think i'm probably going to go for a wax and spray tan, or i may try the dove with a tan in it, yunno that one? Wonders if i'd be able to wax after using that?

I'm also planning to wear outfit at a friends wedding in August - d'ya reckon i'd get away with it?

Anyways - garden parties,eh? fab!!!

Deffo wear it to the wedding.

I think you would get a bit patchy if you waxed after tanning. I think you will have to get your wax done first and go for your tan/use your tanning cream 48 hrs later.

Call your salon and ask.

I love getting all that stuff done

I never have anything like this done - totally clueless about everything, i am. Ain't got a clue about make up or the like..Hell, it's been a good 15 years since i wore a dress!!! I didn't even wear one when i got wed!

awww youll be fine!

Treat it as a laugh and dont take it seriously (the pampering and dressing up that it!).

I LOVE it but I always feel like I am a little girl dressing up [bsmil]

Morning girls xx

Morning Shabs x

What you up to today? Hope the sun is shining up there in Bolton - it is down here - am off into town in a little while - retail therapy!!!