Harry's thread for bereaved mums , Wether its a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on we are all here one for all and all for one .

[travellingwilbury]

Many thanks to ILike for passing on the baton to myself and Harry . I know we are a bit previous but I am worried I will get the timing wrong .

I feel like I have only been here a wee while but it is invaluable to me .

This is a poem that has helped me in the past .

I have not turned my back on you
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from heaven
Just beyond the morning sky.

I've seen you almost fall apart
When you could barely stand.
I asked an angel to comfort you
And watched her take your hand.

She told me you are in more pain
Than I could ever be.
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard
Then gave your hand to me.

Although you may not feel my touch
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you
While I wiped each tear you cried.

So please try not to ache for me
We'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky
A rainbow lights the way.

Good morning girls xx

G'mornin all x

Good morning all .

I have to agree unfortunately about health visitors and midwives . I did meet a few really nice ones but on the whole never read my notes and it was generally down to me to explain about Harry . The amount of times I would be asked "Is this your first ?"

morning all.

I'm thinking of Noah and all your family today lighthouse, a candle will be lit for Noah here today.

It will be such a hard day today, I hope tomorrow will bring some peace to you all.

Just lit my beautiful vanilla scented candle in honour of Noah....thinking of you all xxx

morning girls candle lit here for noah,thinking of you today,xx

candle lit for noah in nottingham. my thoughts are with you today x

A candle is lit here in Sussex for Noah xx

I hope you manage to find a wee bit of peace today xx

Hello all, I was wondering if I could join your fantastic group? What a great way to celebrate the lives of our little ones, than with others who understand. I lost my twins, Finnen was born still born and Jaime died shortly after birth from health complications. Anyway, I saw your other thread, and now this one, although I must admit, I have not read all the posts amongst the 60 pages of messages, but I hope to get to know you now if thats ok, and you will allow me to become part of your group of Mummies

welcome melissa
i am fairly new here too and i can assure you they are a great bunch
so sorry for your loss, please tell us a little about yourself if you feel able too.

thx gardeningmum
Well, as I mentioned, I lost my twins, and this had come not too long after losing my DP to a horrific car accident. So needless to say, it was a horrific time in my life for me. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of the three of them, but somedays, it is a lot more than others.
Since this happened though, I met another fantastic man who has been very supportive of me. We married and I am now Mum to his two children and we have a two year old together. Having my two year old was a bitter sweet moment, as I was and am so thrilled to have my own child, but when he was born, I could not help think about what I had lost. I see a lot facially in him of his older brother, which is sort of weird I know since they had different fathers.
Outside of that, I am a Canadian who moved to England and am a primary school teacher.
It is nice to 'meet' all of you, and I hope to get to know you all better....

god melissa, what a terrible time you had

i am so glad that now you are happy and have a good life.i understand the anguish you feel after losing a child and having another, its crap basically. i see my daughter in the faces of my children, particularly the 2 year old, they have identical brown eyes.

Welcome Melissa - wish we didnt have to meet here but glad you came.

OMG I can identify with the loss of twins. I lost one of my twin boys (heart problems) almost 27 years ago.

Im so sorry for your losses - you must be a strong lady to have got this far....feel free to say what you think here - no matter how crazy it may sound to you

Hi Melissa.

Your story is just . You are one strong and resiliant woman. Bless your husband, Finnen and Jaime.

Having subsequent children is a blessing but it doesn't take away from the lo's we have lost. I think only other bereaved parents truly know this.

I lost my firstborn son (Cole) in Nov 07 after an illness that lasted 7 months. He was 15 months old and a complete joy. I had another son (Mac) last September.

Come join us and chat about whatever and whenever you fancy.

hello melissa and welcome,i lost my grandson to cot death december 2006,and these girls have been lifesavers to mexx

hi melissa..

this truly is a special corner of mn.. its the only place I have found that i can say stuff that sounds mad and I will get loads of replies saying.. oh I felt that too or thats normal

How long is it since you lost your twins if you dont mind me asking My son was stillborn almost 5 years ago now

happy birthday Noah.. a candle is shining in Glasgow

Thanks all for the words of support and welcome.
My DP passed in December 2004 two days after Christmas and the twins were born in May 05 at 34 weeks. My DP never knew I was pregnant with twins, he knew I was pregnant though. I just had not had the ultrasound yet that confirmed they were twins. I always question whether it was the stress and upset over losing DP was what caused the twins not surviving. An answer I will never know. I did not look after myself properly after he passed, and I am sure that had something to do with why I do not have Jaime and Finnen here with me today.

Oh Melissa I forgot to mention my little boy Matt I just picked up the word 'twin' in your post.

My third son - Matt - was knocked down and killed by a reversing lorry when he was almost 8 years old.

Please dont blame yourself for the loss of your precious boys. I know it is a natural reaction from Mums - we always need a reason or someone to blame. I had gone into debt quite heavily the Xmas before we lost Matt. I bought Dan and Matt a fantastic bike each and Matt was on that bike when the lorry killed him. I KNOW it was not my fault but I still blame myself. I also had to pay every penny of the loan back to the doorstep lender even though I knew the bloke well and he knew the circumstances.

OH my word I can talk a glass eye to sleep once I start!

Hi Melissa! Im the Mum to Jack who died when he was born prematurely in Dec 1994. I also have my son Wilf who is the apple of my eye! I lost my DH in July 2001.

Guess what girls? Ive done a job swap! Im going to be a mid day supervisor! One of the MDS is going to do my job!

Whoooo Hoooo Lottie - hope you are much happier doing that xxxx

Thanks Shabs, I had a meeting at home with my mum there and one of the catering bosses..... Wilf got involved too!!

LOL ROFL Would have loved to be a fly on the wall - Lottie, Lotties Mammy and our Wilf - xxxxx

Birthday thoughts for Noah and much love to his family coming from blustery York xxx sorry to hear you've been ill too Lighthouse.

Hello Melissa - so sorry to hear about your twins and DP. Glad you've found us. You sound like one strong lady. I'm mummy to Xander, who's 2.4 and his little sis Caitlin who died in August 2008 when she was five days old.

DS had his first trip to A&E yesterday, he ate some multivitamins. They are usually on top of the fridge but DH had moved them because we'd got a new fridge to put in. He was sick and has lovely black poo from the iron (TMI alert!) but luckily he only ate 2 or 3 and is now fine. We both feel terrible though. He is not bothered because I found a Lofty from Bob the Builder in a charity shop and now he has completely forgotten he was ill!

olissa, what a worry, but at least you got to him in time,
we made our 1st visit to hospital with callum at 3 days old, he stopped breathing but i managed to get him breathing again. it was on the school run and i was trying not to get the older 2 panicking, i dropped them at school then flagged down a taxi.
tommy was born at home, by accident, and on his 3rd day we took him to hospital as he wasnt well and they took him in as they thought he had meningitus. we were in for a week {sad] but he had a virus infection.
no wonder i need anti-wrinkle cream