Harry's thread for bereaved mums , Wether its a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on we are all here one for all and all for one .

[travellingwilbury]

Many thanks to ILike for passing on the baton to myself and Harry . I know we are a bit previous but I am worried I will get the timing wrong .

I feel like I have only been here a wee while but it is invaluable to me .

This is a poem that has helped me in the past .

I have not turned my back on you
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from heaven
Just beyond the morning sky.

I've seen you almost fall apart
When you could barely stand.
I asked an angel to comfort you
And watched her take your hand.

She told me you are in more pain
Than I could ever be.
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard
Then gave your hand to me.

Although you may not feel my touch
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you
While I wiped each tear you cried.

So please try not to ache for me
We'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky
A rainbow lights the way.

Nite all xx

Night Lottie - sweet dreams xx

Morning girls xx

Good morning all .

My sister is going back home today . It has been so lovely having her here , I will miss her . Mind you it will be nice to get an early night , I am getting far too old to be sitting up half the night talking rubbish

How is everyone today ?

Lottie , I hope Wilf has woken up in a better mood today

Morning all xxx Wilf is still in bed..... Mummy is watching the divine Richard Armitage on GMTV!!!!!!!!

Morning tw All is well here thanks.

lol at the Wilf stories!

Just walked Tom up to school....conversation went like this!!

Tom: In PSE we talked about our family and what age they all are ( here we go!)

Me: Go on then - what conclusion did everybody come to?

Tom: Well......you and Dad are the oldest parents by miles and most of the kids grandparents are the same age as you and Dad

Me: Does it bother you?

Tom: Nah, teachers make a fuss of me and say 'Your poor Mum starting again when she was nearly 41.'

Im so happy that I am being discussed in PSE

He then worked out that when Lew starts High School - Danny and Em will be 38, he will be 23 and I will be 64 - Thanks Tom!!!!!

Arent our boys wonderful Shabs??

lottie

I will swap your hormonal teenager for my contrary grumpy 4 year old

When the sun comes up in the morning it hits Ross's room first. The minute the sun comes up he thinks its time to get up.

It means he is shattered by 11am

I normally only let him watch cartoons till 9am and then the tv goes off till approx 6pm. He doesnt get rubbish before lunch and he has to have all meals at the breakfast bar

today he wants to go to the post office but not go out

he is hungry but doesnt want to eat

he is tired but doesnt want to sleep

and he doesnt love me anymore and wants his daddy.

so I have given up with "proper parenting" he is now sitting have chicken dippers in front of the telly

FM. Wilf is sitting in front of Mickey Mouse on tv eating a rustler burger!!

I shall make a prediction that Wilf is now watching handy manny????

I'm either about to look brilliant or look like an eejit!!!

Balamory/Thomas the Tank actually! But he never stays more than 5 seconds on one channel!!

Hi girls, hope everyone is okay. Have been offline the last few days as have suffered a bad reaction to some iron tablets perscribed by my GP. I was having very bad lower abdominal pains and was starting to think I was in labour, ended up going to hospital and felt a bit daft once I clicked what the real cause was! Feeling a bit better today, my lovely friends have taken DD and instructed me to rest which is a real treat as she was being particulary stroppy and uncoperative this morning. What is it with 4 year olds? I though we were supoosed to have to deal with the terrbile two's and then all would be okay! Glad to know I'm not alone FM!

hahah .. eejit it is then

sorry to hear you have been having a worrying time lighthouse. Dont be feeling daft- better safe than sorry

how are you holding up today ?

have you decided how you are going to remember Noah tomorrow

sending you strength for tomorrow

Ohhh... i love four year olds too...

But i live by this rule...

Terrible two's
Troublesome Three's
F*ckin awful fours....

I dread the think what happens when they turn five

Hope everyones goodtoday - love to all x

We will go and visit Noah and have ordered a posy for his grave. We then plan to go and buy a Remember Me Rose Tree which Shabs mentioned and will plant it in a big tub with Forget-me-nots all around(just like she suggested!). DH is planning to be at home tommorrow and we will have a little cake at tea time. I just really dreading it all. I keep thinking today back a year and remembering how I'd had a routine midwife's appt and had asked if there was any chance of the baby coming today despite only being 37 weeks as he felt really low down and she said no! Little did we know that he had other ideas. Tomorrow should have been a day of celebration yet its just so heartbreaking that he won't be here and we have no idea of what he would look like now and what he would have been like.

I still get those awful wobbly feelings the day before my boys birthdays and remember days and so, so many years have passed.

All those 'normal' feelings and reactions my friend.

Thrilled to bits about the rose and f-m-nots.

Will be lighting my candle for Noah (and you and your family).

Just because Noah is not physically here does not alter the fact that you love him and he loves you....he thinks of you each day and you think of him. Always your baby and you always his Mummy.

lighthouse unfortunately I know exactly how you feel

I wish there was something I could do/say to make you feel better

If I dont get on till later tomorrow be assured I am will be thinking of you all tomorrow and that a candle will be shining in Glasgow

"jesus bid us shine
with a pure clear light
like a little candle
burning in the night "

we had at this at Fraser 's funeral and it just popped into my head

i will be lighting a candle here in nottingham for little noah.
i will be thinking of you, the 1st anniversary is really awful, i remember being in my garden digging and crying my eyes out, god knows what the neighbours thought.
lovely idea about the rose, i take extra care of my rose for erin. x

I had to go and see the nurse today for a "ladies appointment" she asked me if i had had a v delivery for Wilf as oppose to a caesearean(sp) i said yes for both boys....she looked at me,.... she didnt know about Jack. She was very good and when she wrote my details down she put born at 26 weeks (rip) I was glad of her compassion.

my experiance of midwifes, health visitors in general is rubbish. we had a h visitor visit us the day after erin died, made all the right noises, said she would ring us the next day to check we were not suicidal, never heard from her again
and i have lost count of the amount of times i have had to explain because they hadnt read my notes.

This one wasnt unhelpful...on the contrary she was lovely!

When i was pregnant with Brogan they put a SANDS sticker on my notes, thereby telling whoever needed to know that we were bereaved parents.

I think im going to ask the doctors to get those! I have just seen an amazing story of an 107 year old lady being given a trip round Brands Hatch at over 100 miles an hour for her birthday! I hope i age like that!!

Good night girls xx