Harry's thread for bereaved mums , Wether its a hand to hold or a shoulder to cry on we are all here one for all and all for one .

[travellingwilbury]

Many thanks to ILike for passing on the baton to myself and Harry . I know we are a bit previous but I am worried I will get the timing wrong .

I feel like I have only been here a wee while but it is invaluable to me .

This is a poem that has helped me in the past .

I have not turned my back on you
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from heaven
Just beyond the morning sky.

I've seen you almost fall apart
When you could barely stand.
I asked an angel to comfort you
And watched her take your hand.

She told me you are in more pain
Than I could ever be.
She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard
Then gave your hand to me.

Although you may not feel my touch
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you
While I wiped each tear you cried.

So please try not to ache for me
We'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky
A rainbow lights the way.

Morning all xx

morning all!
congratulations shabster on your anniversary!

lighthouse, will be lighting a candle for noah in nottingham on the 26th x
the 1st anniversary is really crappy, it hit me really hard, harder than i expected to be honest. i dont take birthday cards to erins grave, too hard, and i dont like the flower arrangements in the shape of her age either, they just rub salt into the wound, but we all grieve differently.

anyway the sun is shining here and like somebody said earlier the sun always perks you up abit.

Oh Lottie! You're a lush, a floozie AND a ..... what do you call someone who spends all day in their pj's?!?

TW Iknow what you mean about needing to wallow sometimes. As for memory boxes, dd1 and ds have both asked about Eris's this week, plus ds wants a photo of her for his album. I've told them we'll go through the box soon. It's not that I don't want to, just that I know I'll be in floods before we even open it.

My forget me nots are out in force now, and I smile when I see them every morning and think of all our angels.

we have a memory box, the hospital gave it us when erin died. i remember walking out of there thinking what can i put in it we only had her for 13 days.
one of the things in it is the pink all in one coat she wore when we went out. i can still smell her on it, but i always, always cry when i get it out.
my older children have a photo each of her in their bedrooms. we talk about her alot, i think thats better for them than not talking about her so none of us get upset.

I so agree with discussing the loss of our precious babes with our 'surviving' children. Tom never met his two big brothers but he knows all about them.

I have Matts old (disgustingly filthy and battered) school bag and one of his pe plimsolls (we call them pumps in Lancashire) no idea where the other pump went to but that was typical Matt

Im really worrying girls...Help me! I always swore that I would never have a 40th party because

A) My late DH died a week before my eldest sisters 40th party which was cancelled.

B) My cousins girlfriend was killed a week before my middle sisters 40th party which was cancelled.

C) My dad died a week before my Mum's (ex wife) 70th birthday party which was cancelled.

I am now worrying myself sill that something will happen to stop the party!

It isnt helped by reading about Natasha Richardson dieing and the curse on her family!

Lottie - SIT DOWN RIGHT THIS MINUTE BEFORE I SLAP YOUR LEGS.

Nothing is going to happen!! DO YOU HEAR ME YOUNG LADY? Nothing!!! Nowt!!! Nada!!! Nish!!! Nothing!!

Deep breathing, nice thoughts.....just because we have all had horrible things happen in the past - NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN. Your Jack and DH will make sure of that.

NO MORE WORRYING.

Lottie - I know it must be really difficult (and maybe easier said than done), but try not to worry because of the past. Shabs is right (wonderful words of wisdom as usual!)
and you should take her advice before she gets really cross and we don't want that!

DD has come down with chicken pox this evening! I guess it was inevitable as her close friends have all had it over the past month, but even so! Poor thing didn't want to be smothered in calamine at bedtime. She insisted on having calpol and has said she needs to lie on the sofa and watch telly tomorrow to get better!

Thanks GM and TW, it means so much. I was thinking of planting something in a tub which we could then take to the new house but I haven't a clue what. Not sure wether to go for flowers of maybe some sort of tree, I just know I want it to be pretty and something that will produce flowers or fruit every year. I'm really no Charlie Dimmock (or whoever the latest gardening guru is) so any advice from the green fingered amongst you would really be appreciated. Also something that maybe isn't too difficult to look after, as my past experiences in the garden haven't been great (I'm trying though to improve!)

Me getting really cross I dont very often but when I do people run for the hills!! Didnt mean to get mad Lottie - just want you to enjoy every minute of your special birthday. It will be just fine - I promise.

Lighthouse - could I suggest a rose tree? They have some beautiful ones with names like 'Rememberance' - will try to link some suggestions. If you put in forget me not seeds and a rose tree in the middle you should get some flowers in Spring and roses through the Summer. Will go and google and try to link it for you.

I have this rose - its called remember me

That sounds perfect Shabs. And it looks like even I could manage to look after it! Will show DH and see what he says.

See you tomorrow xx

Night darling. See you all in the morning xx

Good morning girls xx

Good morning xx

How we all doing today ?

Lottie your birthday will be marvellous Strangely (I think) I tend not to worry so much about the ifs and maybes about things to come . We all know that however much we try we can't stop the worst so we might as well enjoy what we can . Hope that makes some sense . Things make a lot of sense in my head but a bit tricky to get it in black and white especially at silly o clock in the morning

TW Morning!!

There you go Lottie nobody can pull the rug from under your feet now.

morning Shabs

How you today ?

The sun is shining here and I am going to brave my flip flops .

My sister is visiting for a few days so should be a good day

morning girlsxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning all xx

Morning all! I see I missed all the fun again!

Lottie, your birthday and party will be wonderful, you'll have a fab time and so will all your guests and absolutely no bad luck will befall you or anyone you know! I am so confident of this I will pop down to William Hill this afternoon and put a £20 bet on it!

Thanks FMN xx

morning everyone
the sun is shining here in nottingham and my younger 2 are loving it in the garden.

lighthousekeeper, we were given a rose when erin died. you can actually get one named after your child but i am not sure where?

roses are lovely when in flower and really easy to keep. may i suggest a climbing rose as you could plant it to grow against your house and every year it will grow. you can plant it in a tub,just make sure its a really big one then you wont need to move it into a bigger pot later on and disturb the roots. just call me charlie

Bedlam ensues in the Jenkins Madhouse! Wilf arrived at 4.40 and my house looks lije a madhouse!!

Thanks GardeningMum for your sugestion. I quite like the idea of a rose growing alongside the house although I think I might opt to plant one in a large tub and then it can move with us in the future. I take it you are a bit of a greenfingered one with your given name? Wish I had the magic touch with plants.

Poor DD ia suffering with her chicken pox and has gone to bed plastered in calamine!

Hope everyone is well and you all have a good weekend.

lighthousekeeper, i have my rose for erin in a tub and i move it round the garden so it is in the sun and i can see it from my bedroom, daft, i know.
love my garden, but only a novice really.
hope your daughter better soon x