Cole's thread for bereaved muumies: like the sands on the beach that never wash away. I watch over my surviving mum, who thinks of me each day.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Welcome to our santuary and haven ladies.

Many thanks for Frasersmummy for passing the baton onto Cole and I. I am touched and hope I can do all our lo's justice.

For any people wanting to join, don't be shy. We cry, we rant, we smile, we laugh - whatever we feel like we need to do.

thanks you shabs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx big hugs how is tom will show tom the messge i sent to you its me and cookie

I already showed him sweetheart.....he laughed really loud. xxxxxxxx

Good night, sleep tight - see you all in the morning

Good morning all xx

I hope everyone is up for a peaceful day today

Hi folks,

Sorry i didn't get back to you yesterday. I've been to my dr and HV repeatedly about him, but it boils down to the same thing - there's no provision, and i just need to cope with it. Tis hard, but we'll get there.

Morning everyone, Hope you are all doing ok.

Morning everybody.

Dee that is a pissing sodding disgrace!! Come to think of it about 18 months ago my friends husband took his own life. At the time she had a 10 yr old DS, a 4 yr old DD and was 8 months pregnant! Her 4yr old was distraught and badly needed outside help. She couldnt sleep, or eat or function. Our mental health unit told my friend that they could only give her counselling when she was 10 because they hadnt got a mental health worker who was trained to deal with younger children

We must have been very, very lucky in 1992 because Danny was pulled from 'meltdown' by an angel at our local hospital.

No doubt the words 'not enough funding' or 'credit crunch' will crop up in conversations about this problem!

Dee I agree with Shabs , it is awful that you cannot get the help with this . I haven't had to ask for any help with my boys but I have with myself and was given really good support .

You are right that you WILL both cope with this but you shouldn't HAVE to do it on your own .

Have just sat and thought about it and Danny was 10 and a half when he got the brilliant help - so maybe this has always been the rule

I think the UK as a country doesn't understand the value of mental health care in the NHS.

Dannys psychiatrist used to ask him to draw and colour in how he was feeling on that day. At first he just drew Matts accident over and over again. Then she would talk to him about it. After a few months he would draw himself and his two brothers with big smiley faces. Maybe Dee that could help with your little man? I will ask Danny if he can remember anything that helped him at that time.

dee this is so bloody wrong ,there must be some help there must be,no little one should have to struggle,its so bloody wrong .

I think that is the attitude of this 'country' Hazy. Our local hospital is always crying out for people to work in the mental health department. I had to wait 18 weeks to see a counsellor.....by the time the appointment came around I was more depressed with the massive wait.

When I was a kid (in the ice age) if you had a worry at home or at school you would go and talk to your teacher. Teachers nowadays have no time to chat and cuddle. They are too busy trying to teach the national cirriculum and not allowed to touch a child even to comfort them.

Dee.......why dont you ring WW? Just ask them if they have any ideas to help you? They put me in touch with our local hospice which helped me. Im busy cooking up a storm in the kitchen,....Cauliflower cheese and sausages, then rice pud. Then a cake for lunch tomorrow when my friend and her children are coming down to see us!

Permission to let off steam ladies.......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.......... There thats better........ Sorry but i have had a stressful afternoon with Wilf. He had a really good morning and then got silly when the sign language teacher arrived. He did an enormous fart and when i asked hom to apologise he said Rachel had done it . Then at tea time i made cauliflower cheese and sausages. he ate the sausages and refused to eat the cc.....Then demanded half my sausage and got angry and hit me when i said No. I stormed off to the caravan with Tonys tea. I slammed the door and said "Im having five minutes time out" and had a face like thunder. Tony said "Wilfs at home then" I just feel at the moment that i cant do anything right! Sorry to moan but i am feeling pissed off and unappreciated at the moment.

Oh Lottie - I feel very sad for you.

Wilf asked me a little while ago if my sons had ever got mad with me....had they ever hurt me.....I said that they would know about it if they had......I can only imagine what it is like to be deaf but he shouldnt hurt you....you are his rock, his lifeline, his mum. Is there anything I can do to help?

Good morning all

Lottie I hope you have a calmer day today .

I have got to spend my day cleaning and tidying (oh joy ) I have got my dad and wife coming to stay for the weekend so I really have to sort this pit out today

Good morning girls. TW good luck with your 'mucking out' I will be doing the same!

Mucking out is a very good description Shabs

I am still here

I am giving myself till 8 then off into the pit

Morning ladies xxx

Dee I really hope you don't mind but I mentioned to my friend the problems you and your little man were having getting him some help . She works for CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health ) and she was really shocked that you had been fobbed off .

She has had a look and she reckons that the Trehafod child and Family clinic in Swansea should be able to help you . You would need to be referred by a proffesional but it could be worth a try . Their number is 01792 582139 . Maybe your gp just doesn't know of its existence .

Sorry if I am telling you stuff you already know but I am so angry you are being ignored . I really hope you manage to get some help xx

Hi all,

Thats very interesting Shabs what Wilf said to you.........

The trouble is he thinks when he says sorry it is all forgotten!

Am hoping for a more positive day today!

Hiya Lottie. Yes he was really interested as to what my reaction was. I just calmly said it would not happen. I hope you have a much better day....this is such a difficult age isin't it? xx

Hello all, a better day today! we have had friends for lunch and been swimming as well!

tw that is so brill of you ,the power of mn again i do hope this little man can get the help he deserves, ive taken two elder girls out to soft play ,had tea out with them came back bathed them and now taken them back to where they belong.
at work a few years ago had a lovely od dear ,she nattered all night if her dd took her home to go back with her,and she would say mum i found you here so i thought id bring you back here, so i use the same excuse nowxxx
hope all ok ,ds goes back to hospital on 26th,still not drinking he looks well hope he keeps it upxxx
s

Evening ladies, Wilf has been out for a sleepover tonight,i went to the pub with Wilfs godparents!

Awwww Hazy you sound like a fantastic mum and a wonderful grandma So very very pleased for your DS......I know I go on and on about drinking but...I have only coped for many years by drinking too much. Anyone who manages to control that demon has my upmost respect. The feeling of the deepest depression, the longing to see your baby again (no matter how old they are they are always your baby) is overwhelming. Fair play to your DS Hazy - would love to meet him to give him a hug and tell him well done xxxxx