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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Cole's thread for bereaved muumies: like the sands on the beach that never wash away. I watch over my surviving mum, who thinks of me each day.

1000 replies

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/01/2009 09:41

Welcome to our santuary and haven ladies.

Many thanks for Frasersmummy for passing the baton onto Cole and I. I am touched and hope I can do all our lo's justice.

For any people wanting to join, don't be shy. We cry, we rant, we smile, we laugh - whatever we feel like we need to do.

OP posts:
Thelighthousekeeper · 09/02/2009 17:01

Hi everyone. Hope you are all okay.

ILike - I'm now 24 weeks. All appeared well at my 20 week scan which was a huge relief. I think I'm now feeling the baby move which is a big comfort so I haven't felt the need to go to the midwife for a 'listen in' over the past 4 weeks. I'm going to go next week though. At times I am quite relaxed but than panic sets in and I worry about the outcome and when friends talk about once the baby is born I'm always cautious and don't feel I can take it for granted that all will be okay after whats happened. At the moment I'm trying not think about how we'll cope once baby is (all being well) here with us. I guess we'd just have to take each day as it comes. The last 4 weeks do seem to have dragged by and on one hand I'm longing for May/June to come but then on the other hand I'm not as it means we are going to have to deal with Noah's 1st birthday and then Remember Day. So my feelings are quite mixed. Hope things are good with you and Mack.

frasersmummy · 09/02/2009 19:51

OMG FEEDMENOW

I cant even begin to imagine the rollercoaster you are on right now

I am sending little Kyrrie Marcy loads of prayers. If she's anything like her mum she is a survivor..

we are all here for you

God bless you and your family fmn please let us know when your new daughter comes home and we can have a glass of bubbly with you

frasersmummy · 09/02/2009 19:51

OMG FEEDMENOW

I cant even begin to imagine the rollercoaster you are on right now

I am sending little Kyrrie Marcy loads of prayers. If she's anything like her mum she is a survivor..

we are all here for you

God bless you and your family fmn please let us know when your new daughter comes home and we can have a glass of bubbly with you

shabster · 09/02/2009 20:35

Good evening ladies. Still 'buzzing' with your news FMN - all will be well....all will be well

dippymother · 09/02/2009 22:57

FMN Just had to post and say congratulations on the arrival of your new daughter. It must have a real worry for you and a bit of a scary start but I hope things will now improve and you can enjoy being a mum once more.

My own news is not so good. I have felt unable to join the thread for a while now as I have been unhappy and depressed watching my DH deteriorate. He unfortunately wasn't able to have the bone marrow transplant as the hospital could not get him into remission, so from October onwards it was palliative care only. He spent two weeks in our local hospice and died on 27th January (his 49th birthday). We have the funeral tomorrow. I am filled with trepidation but also looking forward to seeing family and friends for support and I think there will be lots of people there as he had a lot of work friends and also was involved with youth basketball locally.

Anyway, I am so pleased that you have at last had a happy ending and hope that the healing process for you will get easier as the days and months go on.

shabster · 09/02/2009 23:02

OMG Dippy - my deepest sympathy to you and your family. Oh my word - what a terrible shock. Please stay with us - we will all try and help - I know it is only with words but please stay with us.

I will be with you in spirit tomorrow and will light a candle in respect for your dear DH and for all of you. Take care of yourself. All the words I am writing sound empty and useless. I dont know what to say sweetheart.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

shabster · 10/02/2009 07:13

Good morning girls xx

Original poster
ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 10/02/2009 07:19

Oh Dippy, you and your dh have been in my thoughts. I'm so sorry your darling husband lost his fight. I will be thinking of you all today and will light a candle in his memory. Please take care and post here whenever/if you feel like it.

Take care xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 10/02/2009 07:33

lighthouse - keep positive, it's hard I know, but it does help. There are worries that will be running through your head, and if I'm honest, for me there still are. But I know that I have to get over them to enable me to fully enjoy Mac.

Remember days and birthdays are hard, there's no denying it. But you will get through it. Stay strong, and talk about and remember Noah. Concentrate on the new baby by all means, but don't suppress the need to cry and talk about Noah, as imo this feelings will come back to bite you on the bum once the baby is here (safe and sound in your loving arms).

I hope this doesn't sound patronising

I always think once the worry/excitement of the 20 week scan is over, the 20-30 weeks drag on and on. But then before you know it, you're 40 weeks and bitching about being overdue

OP posts:
shabster · 10/02/2009 07:38

Wise words Moveit xxxx

lottiejenkins · 10/02/2009 08:11

Dippy, my thoughts and prayers are with you..............xx

hazygirl · 10/02/2009 10:35

dippy ,im so sorryx

Thelighthousekeeper · 10/02/2009 11:41

Dippy you are in my thoughts today. Will be thinking and praying for you and your family. xx

travellingwilbury · 10/02/2009 12:24

Dippy I am so sorry to hear your news . I hope you find some peaceful moments today .

A candle is lit here in Sussex for your dh x

lottiejenkins · 10/02/2009 21:05

Evening all xx

lottiejenkins · 10/02/2009 22:25

Right im off to my bed xxx

Night all xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

shabster · 10/02/2009 23:19

Good night my dear friends....see you in the morning xx

shabster · 11/02/2009 06:58

Morning ladies xx

lottiejenkins · 11/02/2009 08:04

Morning..............xx

everlong · 11/02/2009 09:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lottiejenkins · 11/02/2009 10:32

I have just had a sad letter from Wilfreds school, one of the little boys died this week
only nine years old. I didnt know him but am sure Wilf will be very sad.......

shabster · 11/02/2009 11:14

Oh Lottie - thats awful!

lottiejenkins · 11/02/2009 11:33

I know........

charleymouse · 11/02/2009 11:37

Oh Dippy I am so sorry, thought you must have had your hands full with real life. I really am so sorry. I hope the funeral went as you wanted and you had chance to remember some good times with all the people who loved your DH.

Take care of yourself and you and your family will be in my prayers.

charleymouse · 11/02/2009 11:54

Congratulations on the safe arrival of Kyrrie Marcy FMN

Sorry to hear about the rollercoaster of emotions you will have been on. I'm a bit shocked they didn't spot anything on your scans FMN. Bs hernia was obvious at his 12 week scan however I know how unreliable these things can be as they never even saw he didn't have a windpipe despite me being scanned nearly 3x week from 25 weeks onwards.

I'm glad the surgery went well and that she is a little fighter. I hope things ease up a bit now you are nearer home.

I am praying for your princess and sending you and your family much love. We have all been thinking about you on here and had hoped you were just too busy with the demands of a new baby to post. Sorry to hear it was more serious than that but you sound like you and Kyrrie are doing well under the circumstances.

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