Cole's thread for bereaved muumies: like the sands on the beach that never wash away. I watch over my surviving mum, who thinks of me each day.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Welcome to our santuary and haven ladies.

Many thanks for Frasersmummy for passing the baton onto Cole and I. I am touched and hope I can do all our lo's justice.

For any people wanting to join, don't be shy. We cry, we rant, we smile, we laugh - whatever we feel like we need to do.

Thanks Charley - Still feel like a wobbly jelly I was coping with it fine till I wiped his nose and Gareths face stared at me....I almost dropped him in shock. Think I need to put my Elanore Rigby face on, to be honest xxxxx

Hope your feeling less wobbly Shabs xx Ive just made Wilfs favourite tea(everything except veg and fruit are his favourite). Macaroni Cheese with leeks and bacon and Jam Tart!!! Im going out to a quiz night tonightand my mum (or as Wilf calls her Graggy(Granny) is in charge!!! I have made a rule that i dont go out on Fri nights in termtime as it isnt fair on Wilf when he's just come back....however i make an exception for the PreSchool quiz as a few years ago when Wilf was small they accepted him at nursery when they didnt have too,,,,,,,,,he was still in nappies and non verbal at 3.............it would be a different story nowadays!

Hi all

Hows the wobbles going Shabs ?

That sounds a good tea to me Lottie , my two are the fussiest boys ever and I would be a happy bunny if they ate that . I have tried everything from bribery to starving them out but I have given up . Life is too short .

All ok here , I am all pleased with myself because I actually managed to get a haircut today and I really like it . It will never look this good when I do it but for now I am happy

Hi all....Guess what ive just discovered.........Gary Glitter is allegedly living in Margate where Wilf is at school......... Theres a facebook group to get him out!!! I know i dont have to worry about Wilf but its the girls at school im thinking about...apparently the taxi companies wont take him in their cabs!!

Good night my friends xx

Morning girls xx

Hi Shabs,,,,,,,,, Wilf has just taken himself off to the garage/garden shop to get new wellies............... He was good for Graggy last night too!!

Dee.........when you are on here next i have posted another link on the bereavemnt section which might be useful to you...................

Hi all

Shabster .. everything you are feeling is completely normal. My mum tells me she is more nervous looking after my ds than she ever was with me or my brother. You are a very strong lady.. even when you "lostit" you did so away from lewis

I have "lost it" several times in front of Ross recently {blush] he is just soo contrary.. I want weetabix.. you make it put it in front of him and its yuck... and it builds from there through the rest of the day. when I snap the guilt kicks in and I think God i should be happy he is here to argue with me. I sometimes think maybe thats why god took Fraser cos he knew I wouldnt make a good mummy

Now that i am back in control I know that these are all really stupid things to think ... and I have to keep my feelings for Ross completely seperate from my feelings for Fraser

I am not making much sense am I?? I guess I am just trying to say that having lost one child (or 2)leaves scars that never heal ..
Sometimes you can hide them and sometimes you cant. And i really believe that there is no shame in not being able to hide them.

take care

Its good to know that other people have the same emotions and feelings.

I have had a serious talk to myself The way I reacted the other day was MY problem, MY emotions, MY 'thing' to try and overcome. I have to sort out my head.

I appreciate all your thoughts and words - thank you all so much.

Ive just found this poem in Gloria Hunnifords book. I think it is perfect for all of us.

THE MENTION OF HIS NAME
***
THE MENTION OF MY CHILDS NAME
MAY BRING TEARS TO MY EYES,
BUT IT NEVER FAILS TO BRING
MUSIC TO MY EARS.
IF YOU REALLY ARE MY FRIEND,
LET ME HEAR THE BEAUTIFUL MUSIC OF HIS NAME.
IT SOOTHES MY BROKEN HEART
AND SINGS TO MY SOUL.

ANON

I think that says it all Lottie.....beautiful words.

Ive just had a Wilf moment,,,,,,,,,,,Wilf and the nearly flooded bathroom! I had the music up loud downstairs and heard loud stamping of feet on the stairs, i went into the hall to be be greeted with "Mumma i have a plublum with the bath!!" I shot up the stairs after him to find bubbles up the stairs on the walls and along the corridor.........When i got there he had turned on the hot tap so hard he couldnt switch it off so Mumma solved the plublum. I also noticed that half a bottle of my expensive bubble bath had magically appeared in the bath,,,, his response??? "sorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry bout dat Mumma!!" I cant stay angry for long!!

ROFL how fab!! Right I am off to my friends for a few drinks. We were sat talking last night and out of the corner of my eye I saw one of our sons walk into the kitchen from the living room. Then my attention went back to our conversation. I thought it was Tom but he was upstairs on the computer! At the same time Chelle said 'oh there's a lovely smell in here - it smells like Summer and sunshine.' Matt? I turned to talk to whoever it was and there was no-one there!

lottie .. you always make these moments seem so light hearted...I need some of your great patience

shabs ..someone to say its ok mum you can do this .. dont stress .. you are doing great??

have a nice night

Thank you FM - thats what I was thinking

Good morning girls xx

FMN if you are just having a 'quiet lurk' could you let us know you are ok? You have been on my mind for the last couple of days and I am being nosey!

morning girls hope everyone okxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Snowing here Hazy!!

Has been snowing on and off here...........Wilfs gone back to school now...........and im really sad as hes been such a good boy this weekend!!

Lottie - my messanger thingymebob on FB is really playing up - every time i write a message it says 'unexpected error has occured' Im sick of it!!! Just wanted you to know that I wasn't being ignorant

Ive had that prob too Shabs.......ive just started aibu thread about GG being half a mile from Wilfs school!!!

Hi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,anyone about??

Billy Joel

Just found this song on youtube...I have never heard it before...I just needed to put it on our 'special thread' - not sure why, maybe because it is so beautiful - like all our children? xxxxxx

Good morning girls.....Brrrrrr!!