Cole's thread for bereaved muumies: like the sands on the beach that never wash away. I watch over my surviving mum, who thinks of me each day.

[ILikeToMoveItMoveIt]

Welcome to our santuary and haven ladies.

Many thanks for Frasersmummy for passing the baton onto Cole and I. I am touched and hope I can do all our lo's justice.

For any people wanting to join, don't be shy. We cry, we rant, we smile, we laugh - whatever we feel like we need to do.

i look after an little irish lady ,advanced dementia,never sleeps and not so long ago we had such a lucid conversation about this, i told her i never used to be such a bitter bitch till j died,he changed me ,anyway we got on about an ex friend who is a bitch,heartless,who would go to heaven,she grabbed my hand looked me straight in the eye,and said god would forgive us,wed all go to heaven,oh i might as well carry on been a bitch then,aw maybe shes right

I like that way of thinking Hazy

shabster you made me cry with that story about matt wanting to be able to read the signposts...

I have found that other thread ..and just want to say well done Dee.. you made them stop and think ....

Dee remember you said a few messages ago that you hadn't set out to change peoples opinions? I just found this little passage in a book my pen pal in America sent to me, after I lost the boys.

'Those who grieve are well qualified to become our teachers. They have stood at the very threshold of life, and they understand the true meaning of love. They have a vision and awareness that far surpasses those whose lives have never been pierced with deep pain and suffering. They speak to us honestly and courageously from the their hearts. They understand the importance of values and priorities. They are deeply sensitive. They will no longer trust in superficial answers or well-worn cliches. They do not care how much we know until they know how much we care.'

FMammy - Matt was a 'one off' He once tried to tell me a joke for about 4 hours but couldnt because he was laughing too much - the punch line was 'Me not daft, me not silly, me hold on to Daddy's willy?????'

I am two
Can that be?
I question which one's really me.
One is smiling? Coping well?
The other weeps in a living hell.

One is
Too tired to deceive
And wants to be alone to grieve.
The other
Tries to battle on
Even though all meaning's gone.

Some days, one
Is stronger than the other.
Or the two
Will merge, then I'm another
Perhaps one day
I'll find the real 'I'
But until then
One will laugh
And the other will cry.

The God , heaven , hell question for me . I do think there is "something else" but I have no idea what . I don't believe there is a god deciding who goes and who stays as that would just begger belief for me that our children would be chosen but some of the nasty buggers in the world have survived .

I have to believe Harry is "somewhere" otherwise what's the point ?

Shabs I have a rememberance of that joke but not what the joke is . All I can remember is the punchline .

shabs thats is so lovelyxx
on the heaven/hell question my mum brought me up to believe this ,im totally brainwashed ,cos if i do ought wrong i think,oh shit another cross.
god sits on a chair up in heaven watching everything we do, if were good we get a tick ,if were bad we get a cross,when the day comes and we die ,god adds up the ticks and crosses,if more ticks we go to heaven,if more crosses we go to hell.
my whole life shes told me im never gonna go to heaven ,oh well
but i never forget itx

My views are much the same as TW's. I have never had a faith and I have to say that since Cole became ill and died, it has only strengthened my belief that there is no God.

However I do believe there is something after death. What that something is I don't know. But I strongly believe I will be with Cole again, and that also means I am not scared of dieing.

Well Hazy if thats the case - I will be meeting up with you - and Im sure it wont be in heaven

i know there is something else now,i went to see a spirtualist ,and he said something about what i did,that nobody else in the world knew,and j said why did you do thatx strange eh

shabs, dont they say better the devil you know eh

Morning all xx

Everlong - you just know when they are around - mums instinct I think. Bet Oli had a laugh to himself for making you jump - if they come to cart you off call for me on your way to the 'funny farm' wont you?

Still a bit weird - I'll be fine though

shabs,hope you are ok ill feel awful ,is it because of thread i started,

Hazy stop worrying!!!! Has just been a 'week and a half' at our house. H is very pessimistic about everything and I am the complete opposite. This week his moaning and groaning has got right on my nerve ends

The thread you started was brilliant - stop worrying - right this minute!

cheers ive just been to cemetry xx its freezing and throwing it downxx

Hazy - Triplets H had a liver operation yesterday - they removed a large part of the liver. He seemed to have come through the operation well. Early this morning she got a phone call to say that he had been taken into intensive care - they seemed concerned about kidney failure.

The last time she posted on the multiples was to tell us about his condition and to say she had to get to the hospital.

Just wanted you to know and would ask all the mums on here to keep her and her family in their thoughts.

Triplets lost her teenage son - Matthew - very suddenly several years ago. I have met her once in real life....but she is in Kent....so distance is difficult. She had triplets almost 11 years ago when she was (I think) 45!!!

Dont know what else we can do except send her our positive and loving thoughts xxx

Am praying for Trips and her dh and family..............

Thank you so much Lottie - she is a wonderful friend. xxx

I will keep her and her dh in my thoughts . It must be a v scary time for them all . I can't stand hospitals at the best of times now so the thought of one of my loved ones being in intensive care gives me chills