Harvey- how do you handle significant BAD anniversaries?

[Bobbins]

My dds, Harvey died on the25th March last year. I'm not sure how I am coping with it. I'm not sure if I should take that day off work or not. It might transpire that I am alone that day if I don't go into work. A strange coincidence has occured. My prescription of Prozac runs out on Monday, the day before the anniversary. My six months is up.

Harvey is buried miles away, due to the lack of woodland burial sites in this country. I'm planning to go down there to his grave (and my mothers-they are buried next to eachother) on my birthday, the day before Harvey was buried.It's a difficult time and I'm not sure how to handle it. Is it just another day toget through, or should it be significant and marked in some way? How do other people deal with these days?

Myspacebarstill doesn'tworkproperly.GRRRR

Bobbin something for tomorrow,

Ships

I am standing on the seashore, a ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the morning ocean. She is an object of beauty and I stand and watch her until at last she fades on the horizon.
Then someone at my side says 'she is gone', gone where?
Gone from my sight-that is all.She is just as large in the mast,hull and spars as shs was when she left my side. The dimished size and total loss is in me and not in her, and just at that moment when someone by my side says 'she is gone' others take up the glad shout- 'there she comes'.

Thinking of you and Harvey tomorrow.xxxx

nothing to say really, but that I'm thinking of you Bobbins and you Snickers.

love

giraffe - someone gave me that poem when my mother died. It was the most meaningful thing I ever received. Thank you for remindig me of it.

Sed, I heard it yesterday at a service of remberance at the childrens hospital and I felt it abit more positive in trying to move on.They also encouraged people to take a pebble ,put your childs name on it ,place it on the beacha display area{}and take a different one away.to symboliseletting go of painful memories and holding on to the good.

Yuk....blubbing...bigtime...Havingtlotsofphonecalls...and I don't like feeling like a drama queen.

I've just had texts from my ex...he's going down to the graves with his Mum tomorrow.....

not sure how I feel!

I wish I was cuddling him

Bobbins - hope you're ok. Thinking of you.

Even though I really dislike my ex....I still wish we were going through this together

I am OK

just a bit sad

Sorry...I know I've made all you lot go through this as well.....hopefully dp will be home soon from his night shift...and help to make it a bit better....????

thinking of you too bobbins.

oh bobbins. of course you are upset and wishing to give him a cuddle and it's only natural to want to share your grief with his father. you are a strong person and you will survive this. can't think of anything more helpful to say. best wishes.

Bobbins, I wish there was something I could say or do that could help you through this bad time, but somehow I don,t think there is. But when you have got through it it is another hurdle that you have managed and so you move on .Try not to think of the 'what if's', as the 'what is' is hard enough.Sending you hugs throughout tomorrow.

dp came home...l fell asleep in his arms sobbing basically, and we looked through photos together.

In reality, it is just another day to get through....but I've woken up at 4 am....and now I am listening to Nick Cave ...."The Boatmans Call"

Man...perhaps I like to torture myself?Its heartbreaking to read the 'What makes you smile' thread. I suppose I have to feel something though...all part of the process

dp's summary...."It's not fair"

it isn't fair. good luck getting through today.

Just spoken to ex partner, he woke at 6am and responded to my text instantly. It said....."we did make him smile". Can't help wishing we were going through this together....after all we both made him. He did bugger it all up though.

Darling Bobbins ... been thinking of you all day way over on the other side of the world ...
Huge hugs to you ............ {{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}
You are being so brave .... keep talking ... we love you XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Deepest sympathy and lots of love to you, thank you for being so open and sharing your memories of Harvey with us.

Thinking of you, especially today.

Bobbins

Just to say that I too am thinking of you.

In 1995 my six year old cousin died after a life long battle with a rare form of muscular dystrophy. It hit my Aunt very hard. We are a very close family so tried to be there for her. But for much of the first year she just wanted to die, but 8 years on she has found some kind of peace. She talks about her DD every day and tells her 3 remaining children about their older sister, although only the eldest of the 3 has the vaguest of memories.

I hope that you will find some peace, especially after the year you've had.

Big Cyber hug.

Thinking of you and harvey, bobbins.

Tigermoth xxx

Bobbins and Harvey xxxxxx

Lots of love coming to you from Greece too.

And from downtown SE London, Bobbins. Thinking of you all today. XXXX