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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My DH has died

218 replies

squidgemum · 20/11/2008 19:31

My beautiful DH died in my arms on Saturday aged 37, after an 18 month battle with cancer. I'm left with a 3 year old and a 1 month old ... and I still can't believe I am writing these words. I know some other MNetters have been through this too as I've been lurking for a while - Martianbishop, retiredgoth, onlyjoking, evenstar ... are you there? I've been reading your posts for months now (ever since he was declared terminal) but never had the courage to post before, but I know that you and others will know what I'm going through - the shock, the fear of the future, and some relief that the cruel disease is no longer a constant shadow in the house .. Tell me - is there any light at the end of the tunnel?

OP posts:
finknottle · 20/11/2008 19:54

Oh you poor love
I was at my friend's house tonight, she died 7 months ago and her h told me some days he feels like poison runs in his veins, he's so angry. Other days, he fees like honey flows through them because he can feel her still with him and their 3 children.
You are not alone.
Wishing you much strength and much love.

sfxmum · 20/11/2008 19:55

I am so sorry squidge hope you find some strenght and support in the days ahead

SuperBunny · 20/11/2008 19:55

I'm so sorry

asdmumandteacher · 20/11/2008 19:55

so sorry, thinking of you

DesperateHousewifeToo · 20/11/2008 19:56

So sorry to hear of your loss.

Thinking of you and your family. x

VaginaShmergina · 20/11/2008 19:57

squidgemum, how absolutley awful for you. I am truly very sorry.

I have been onto OJ's current thread and left her a message.

I too agree with accepting all offers of help. A very dear friend lost her DH nearly 6 weeks ago, has 3 DC's, and is 16 weeks pregnant. She is not capable of making even the smallest of decisions at times so having a good group of friends is helping her a great deal.

I'm sure you will find plenty of support here and there are plenty of people willing to help.

misdee · 20/11/2008 19:57

i'm so sorry to read this

the ladies on here who have been through what you and/or similar are amazing.

x

Olipop · 20/11/2008 19:57

I'm so sorry. I hope that you can get the support you need to help you and your DC through this. Much love and many thoughts x

fairylights · 20/11/2008 19:59

so very very sorry. Sending you much love and prayers xxx

Anifrangapani · 20/11/2008 19:59

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

I hope that you find peace and solace soon.

Much love to you.

WingsofaAngel · 20/11/2008 19:59

I am sorry for you loss. Well done for finding the courage to post. Please keep on doing so. ((((((((()))))))

kayzisexpecting · 20/11/2008 20:00

I'm really sorry.

Thinking of you and your DC's at this time.

xx

bellavita · 20/11/2008 20:00

squidgemum - very sorry for your loss. xx

TheMadHouse · 20/11/2008 20:01

I wanted to add my sypathy, I am so sorry for your loss

Blandmum · 20/11/2008 20:04

SM, I'm so sorry that the end was so hard. when they are young men they fight it to the bitter end. Dh did and it was the hardest thing that I have ever done to sit and stay with him. I wanted to rund away. Now, 5 months down the line, I'm glad that I stayed, and in an odd way it gives me a degree of comfort.

But it was so terribly hard.

onlyjoking9329 · 20/11/2008 20:06

Hello there.
i am so very sorry that your husband died, it is a strange mix of emotions isn't it when something has taken over your life for so long it feels like it is someone elses life you are living, or that you will wake up and find it was all a bad dream.
like MB says take all the help you are offered, anything you think or feel is ok thou you may feel unsure of everything don't rush into deciding anything.
if you want to CAT me i can add you to my MSN.
ask any questions and i will try to answer them.
glad to see you have some help with the children, rest when you can, sleep when you can and eat when you feel you can.
When you feel up to it it might be worth you joining WAY i have found it useful.
i expect you are being kept very busy sorting out all the arrangements, do shout up if any of us can help in anyway.

LouMacca · 20/11/2008 20:07

So sorry for your loss - my heart goes out to you and your DC. x x

PottyCock · 20/11/2008 20:07

so sorry squidgemum, lots of love to you and your dc x

PerkinWarbeck · 20/11/2008 20:08

I am so sorry for your loss. thinking of you.

everlong · 20/11/2008 20:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

daftpunk · 20/11/2008 20:09

so so sorry

with love
x x

AbbaFan · 20/11/2008 20:11

No words of wisdom , just sorry for you and your family

Suedonim · 20/11/2008 20:12

I'm so sorry, such a terrible loss for you and your children.

Furball · 20/11/2008 20:14
Sad
finknottle · 20/11/2008 20:20

To answer your question, what I wrote before:

"Other days, he feels like honey flows through them because he can feel her still with him and their 3 children."

He does believe there is light at the end of the tunnel, but it is undeniably a long dark tunnel.
There are many here who will hold your hand.

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