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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Fraser's thread for bereaved mummies: Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal - Love leaves a memory no-one can steal

978 replies

frasersmummy · 09/11/2008 21:11

Hello my good friends

Its lovely to be asked to set up our new support tread especially as we head towards our first festive season supporting each other.

I hope Frasers part of the journey is as smooth as Eris, Jack and Matt&Gareths

OP posts:
ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 06/01/2009 18:23

Hi ladies.

I hope you've all had a good day. As usual Lottie has had lots of excitement

I'm trying to think of a fitting title for the next thread........

lottiejenkins · 06/01/2009 22:16

Im off to bed shortly.......to have dreams of firemen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shabster · 07/01/2009 07:30

Good morning girls.

Lottie you make me ROFL - you should write a book xx

travellingwilbury · 07/01/2009 08:29

Good morning everyone , Lottie that sounds like an exciting day especially for Wilf , I hope you had sweet dreams lst night

How is everyone doing today ? I have managed another night with no booze so I am feeling pretty pleased . Hazy I completely understand if you would rather I shut up about the booze thing so please just say , I don't want to make your haven a place you are twitching (I promise )

xx

hazygirl · 07/01/2009 13:49

afternoon girls ,no son is on day 7 no drinking .im so proud i ring him everyday at dinnertime ,its a whole week today mum he said, i rang dh who cant understand why im jumping for joy,i suppose he gets it in neck when poo hits fan again ,im determined 2009 is gonna be better,
im proud of you too your gonna do it,i know ive never drunk but i know when things got realy bad i thought maybe it would make thing better,maybe help me sleep,but i got scared if i started would i be able to stop,would it stop the pain,cos i couldnt find anything else that would,still cant,but hey they i go,so girls you can do it ,i appreciate it aint easy

shabster · 07/01/2009 14:14

Give your lad a massive hug from me Hazy - that is so great.....one day at a time, one step at a time. So thrilled for him.

We just booked to go back to Faliraki in July - OMG, OMG no idea how we will pay for it - but its done now

hazygirl · 07/01/2009 14:19

you can do it.we are at burnley friday to pick up some bits for his bathroom ,keep his busy at weekendx

lottiejenkins · 07/01/2009 21:52

Ive just put Wilf to bed and was issued with instructions to " Dut da door Mumma!!!"

shabster · 07/01/2009 21:58

I just lurve Wilf - he is ace!!

Deemented · 07/01/2009 22:07

Hazy - my sister lives not far from Burnley - in fact, i was there just after Christmas!

Busy day for me today - see my post in AIBU, but feeling a little more positive.

Can i ask something, girls? Am i the only one that finds it really difficult going up to the grave? When hubbs was alive we'd go up every weekend, but since hubbs died, i'm ashamed to say i've only been up three times. I find it so hard, actually leaving them there - hubbs was buried with Ciaran. I feel guilty... but maybe it's self-preservation or something, i dunno... is it just me?

shabster · 07/01/2009 22:13

I cant remember the last time I went to my sons grave love - you are not alone on that one. I just dont want to go....I am ok when, on the odd occasion I do go....I usually have fresh flowers next to their pictures in the living room.

hazygirl · 07/01/2009 22:16

dee me and dh visit regular, i dont find it gets easier ,it always gets to me,in early days id go up sit with him and talk away ,nowadays i get up when dh is about, i dont go out any more on my own nowadays,if i could i would.
i do feel awful when i dont go up ,so cant answer other than thatx

everlong · 07/01/2009 22:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shabster · 07/01/2009 22:59

You are so right Everlong - our children are all around us....they will never leave us - maybe physically - but emotionally they are always with us. I talk to my boys all day, every day. When I am afraid, worried, or down I ask them to help me. They are never far away xxxxx

shabster · 07/01/2009 23:26

Good night, god bless girls. xx

shabster · 08/01/2009 07:14

Good morning - everybody ok?

everlong · 08/01/2009 08:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shabster · 08/01/2009 08:30

They are a lovely bunch at Compassionate Friends - hope they can help - I found that it helped to know other people were in the 'same boat.' Good luck darling and well done xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/01/2009 09:02

Morning all.

Deemented - sometimes I don't go to Cole's grave for a couple of weeks, but then I may go twice in one week. I tend to go when I feel I need to go. Sometimes it really helps (especially if I have been really really upset) and calms me, other times it does nothing at all, but I like to take the opportunity to tidy the grass and plants there. There is no wrong or right.

I've nearly chosen my title, I will put the link to the new thread on here as we are getting close to 1000 posts.

Take care everyone.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/01/2009 09:42

NEW THREAD HERE LADIES xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/01/2009 09:42

NEW THREAD HERE LADIES xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/01/2009 09:42

NEW THREAD HERE LADIES xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/01/2009 09:42

NEW THREAD HERE LADIES xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/01/2009 09:42

NEW THREAD HERE LADIES xxx

frasersmummy · 08/01/2009 20:42

I am just signing off Frasers Thread as I pas the baton to Ilike and Cole

Theres been a lot of love and support on this thread. Thank you ladies for the chance to honour Frasers memory

OP posts: