Fraser's thread for bereaved mummies: Death leaves a heartache no-one can heal - Love leaves a memory no-one can steal

[frasersmummy]

Hello my good friends

Its lovely to be asked to set up our new support tread especially as we head towards our first festive season supporting each other.

I hope Frasers part of the journey is as smooth as Eris, Jack and Matt&Gareths

Ive had some sad news today a lovely lady i know called Maisie told me today that her daughter died on NYD.......its so sad as it was the fourth time she had had cancer........she was only 54 and leaves her husband and a son with special needs too.............thats what brought it home to me. Ive been cooking too. My friend gave me a gammon joint with yesterdays date on it and said what can you do with that! I rang my mum for advice and she has told me what to do with it. Mum is so funny she said "can you manage all that boiling water with Wilf in the house?" I dont know if she thought i was going to boil Wilf with the gammon joint or not? Im also doing our tea which is macaroni cheese with leeks and bacon (a la Delia) and golden syrup songe pudding as well. I have Teco Man (as Wilf calls him) delivering between 5 and 7 tonight here too and i must wash my hair as i stink of leeks!!

Lottie I am really sorry to hear about your friends daughter , I know the time of yr shouldn't matter but to start a new yr with that just seems too unfair

I love the sound of all that cooking though , I am doing the old cliche of a new yr diet and love the idea of syrup pudding .

Well tea was superyummy!! I think i have just scared off another Tesco driver(Teco Man) As he was coming up the drive with the delivery the security light came on and at the same time the phone rang, in our house we have a whizzo box on the wall which Social Services put up for Wilf sothe lights flash and he knows if the doorbell/phone is going. Anyhow the poor driver nearly jumped out of his skin when all the lights started flashing! (our nickname for this house is The Addams Family House) Then as we were unpacking the trays Wilf came flying out totally hyper cos of his meds and started going through all the bags! I think the Teco man was quite glad to leave our house. We very rarely get the same driver twice I cant imagine why!!!

Thanks Everlong i keep thinking about poor Maisie i didnt know about her daughter dieing and was chattering away about our hoilday and then she just came out with it and told me and all i could do was hug her! Her husband died about ten years ago he was a lovely man too!

So sorry to hear about your friend Lottie.

Good night, God bless - see you all in the morning xx

Good morning girls xx

Good morning all

Well I managed last night not to succumb to the booze Now I have done 1 night before but I honestly can't remember the last time I did two in a row . I am actually looking forward to it .

Hope everyone is doing ok this morning x

Well done TW - I had one large glass but cheered myself up with the thought that every night for ages I have had at least a litre of strong cider (I sound like one of them numptys on the Jeremy Kyle show) OK lets be honest now - I usually have a 2 litre bottle of cider. After I finished the glass I felt awful.....I poured the rest of the bottle away. Tonight I have no spare cash for a bottle so that is looking good.

I know I said we shouldn't beat ourselves up but Im dissapointed that I couldn't do it. Will, however, try again tonight.

Well done my love.....you are a stronger woman than me

One glass is nothing Shabs , like you said it is a lot less than usual and thats the important bit .

I don't think you are quite ready to be dragged on to Jeremy Kyle just yet .

Today is another day .

I think it helped because I am really trying to lose some lard and I know alcohol is the devils work for putting on weight

Thanks for the encouragement TW - I will 'ground' myself if I dont do better tonight xx

hi girls hope you ok,ds is on day 4,told me hes gonna do it this time,he still looks bloody awful on sunday and vomitting blood still,but not as much ,hes on medication and if it drinks will make it more painful than his stomach already.his gf took him to pub saturday and she said he looked so miserable with glass of cola ,they went home,so praying hes gonna do it this time,
dd 2 gone back to work after 3 weeks on sick with grief so heres hoping 2009 is a better year,big hugs to you all

Big hugs to you Hazy , lets hope he has turned a corner with it , I know how hard it is too watch someone go through that .

Heres to a better and more peaceful 2009 x

Oh Hazey I feel now - here's me papping on about trying to stop drinking and there's you worried sick about your son. Sorry love - I should put my brain into gear before I start rabbiting. Glad to see your DD has gone back to work. Hope your son sticks to 'it' - I think he stands more of a chance this time because now you all know exactly what is happening. Before it was kind of his secret. I hope 2009 is a fantastic year for all of you xx

Morning Folkses

I don't drink. Mainly because i'm breastfeeding - but mostly because if i start i'm scared that i won't be able to stop.. iyswim? Sometimes i really do wish that i could find oblivion at the end of a bottle, but it's not really realistic.

Hope it's a good day for all x

Hiya Dee - I know exactly what you mean. xx

Morning all.........Wilf and I are off shopping this morning and to the library and barbers! Then we are having lunch at his favourite cafe!! That should be good! I have Mr Carpet Man coming out with carpet and laminate samples on Thursday afternoon! I wouldnt know Wilton carpet from bog standard carpet! so have roped good old Mum in to help me! Oh and Wilf will be here with his thoughts too!!!

shabs no way are you thoughtless ,you are one of the greatest and im so glad i could text you ,its hard cos in rl its so bloody hard,its bad at work when ds out of it last week i work in same place ,and as hes been wheeled about in trolley to xray and wards saw everyone i bloody knew.
i was with staff from certain ward so knew my son had bad drinking problem,what can i say yes my son has a bloody shit problem with drinking ,i try so hard to help him ,only last week i moaned your heading for yellow belly ward again,they both laughed and went to tell her parents i was on a rant again,miserable bugger i am.
same week we are back there,eventualy get to ward and his gf face,she was horrified to see where he ended up,one man so yellow hes liver obvs more damaged than ds,but thats next stage if dont stop now,
im afraid tears fell,i felt awful and one poor bloke covered his whole yellow body,he was so bloody nice,two years younger than me,
ds was upset we were leaving him there,he sees himself as not one of them,dr has pointed out time and time again he has a prob ,his body cant take it and do you know 2 of them ill men said to us as we walked away,all four of us gutted they told us dont worry well keep an eye on him, i have nothing but utter respect for them ,they helped more than they ever will know.
ds said next day when he came back what great guys they were.

So glad I didn't offend you Hazy - always here for you love.

Lottie - sounds like a lovely day - enjoy yourselves.

xxxx

Happy New Year Everyone
Love Charleymouse

Hiya Charley - Happy New Year sweetheart.

Someone was asking about you - think it was on the Multiples. Great memory havent I? Dont know who it was or exactly which thread it was on!!!

Thanks Shabs, twas Ruby, have just posted.
CM

You ok love? xxxxxxxx

Hi all..........Well what an afternoon, my friend rang me about 3.30 and said "Dont panic but the fire engines on its way here ive got a chimney fire!" Well i fairly hustled Wilf out of the door... first stop was Ediths and she couldnt have him cos she has a bad back...next stop was Antonia's and i pushed him through the door and explained what was happening and slid across to Alis....It was quite scary as loads of bits were coming down the chimney....we had to push the furniture back and catch the kittens and put them in the bedroom. Then we heard the fire engine........then it stopped! Then we heard them pull up and we had six of them in the house and loft! They were ever so good and just before they left they allowed me to go and get Wilf so he could meet them. One of them let him sit in the engine and have his picture taken. It turns out that one of them's daughter used to look after Wilfred several years ago!!
Not how i expected to spend my afternoon but there you go!!!

hi girls well i had walking talking baby granddaughter this morning shes a realy good baby but no time to post ,i needed eyes in back of my head,i forgot its hard work,and eat my god i could hve just let her in kitchen to munch the weeks shopping,bless her.and tell me how a 15 month old baby knows what a tin of sweets look like,bless herx