Hi,
I think time changes things . When Matthew died I went daily for weeks, then over a period of time, about 6 months later as it was winter, I went once a week. That gradually became once a month, and now 14 yrs later its Christmas, Easter birthdays etc, although there are visits in between as my lovely Dad is buried in front of Matthew. Shabs is right, they are not there, but in the early years its very hard not to feel that they are there, and it hurts. I remember the Feb day, it was so cold, I was sitting on the bench near Matthew, when out of the blue the stonemasons turned up with his headstone, they had not let me know. I just sat there, watching, couldnt let them know who I was, felt so shocked. When they left I went over and the pain of seeing his name, that pain hits me still, I hate it. The strange thing is thats my headstone too, thats where I am going. Do you find that your husband/partner doesnt feel the need to go as much as you, that is certainly the case with us.
Hazy, just want to know how your fil is, hope he is progressing. Poor Harry is in bed again, the chemo has floored him.