For Bereaved Mummies. Remembering Jack and our other precious little ones... the sharing of hurt is the beginnning of healing.

[lottiejenkins]

Third time lucky........ Thanks to Shabs and FMN. I hope i can carry the baton as well as you did. I havent made a good start though. Things can only get better.........

that all sounds right to me FMNxxx

you are both soo right about us being better as a group

when one of us stumbles the others are there to pick us up

FMN before you lost Eris I feltI had no-one to talk to or to pick me up when I had a stumble .. What a beautiful legacy your little girl has left behind

Tiasmummy just posted on her thread and said that she is 'moved beyond words' at everybodys posts.

Brave lady for coming on tonight. Felt relief when I saw she had posted.

I am glad tiasmummy is as ok (well as much as she can be)

how is everyone else.. you are all very quiet

Have been to my friends tonight....along with Tom (he just finished for half term) I am as pisched as a fart!! Today has been awful. I want to post exactly how I am feeling but dont want to hurt anyone else. All I can say is thank you to everyone for being around and for your support and love.

.....and if I was a butterly I'd thank you lord for giving me wings.........

Morning all

Shabs I hope the head isn't too bad this morning . Yesterday was a rough day , I know I kept getting flash backs to Harrys funeral and before all day . I know it sounds a bit nuts but sometimes I would like to be back in those first weeks . At least then I was "allowed" to be sad and down .

Today is a new day , onwards and upwards xx

I went out last night and got pisched too! We had a memorial quiz last night for my late husbands best friend! Was a fun evening with lots drunk and eaten!!

I too was out last night at a party!

before you have visions of cocktails and handsome men. it was a very early halloween party for brownies (guiders cant be around next week). I took ross and we had great fun

TW I know exactly what you mean, after the first few months this road can be very very lonely. There is a pressure just to get on with life.

shabs you should post what you feel like.. I very much doubt if you could hurt any of us .

hugs to everyone this morning

I am never drinking again. I know I sat for most of the night cuddling my friends new kitten and I am very, very scared of cats LOL

fwiw I agree with FM I am sure nothing you could have posted would have upset any of us .
I know I am a newbie here but you should be able to post anything .

Couldn't find the right words to even say how I felt. Not sure if there are any right words. Still dont know how to describe my thoughts. I had a head full of nothing if you know what I mean?

I know very well that head full of nothing (or really a head full of everything but not sure about what is the thing that is bothering me )
Does that make any sense at all ?

How you doing this morning ?

Much better thanks love.....slight hangover tho'

This will only make sense to you girls on here - my heart is hurting. Im concentrating on my breathing because I do get panick attacks which I take beta blockers for. I will be just fine - think that yesterday just dredged up so many memories.

Right onwards and upwards and get my mucky house cleaned

Morning all
Well my party last night involved silicone sealing round the sink and cleaning the bathrooms. Harrumph. Not fair.

Glad Tiamummy posted she was on my mind yesterday. I hope her DH can see the support that we can offer and let her visit us and maybe get some comfort himself.

People at work asked me why I had a candle on my desk and were moved when I explained how people all over the country world were lighting a candle for a beautiful little girl and her family even though we have never met.

Let it all out Shabs let it all out.

Morning Charley

Tommy wants to clean the hamsters cage, with my help.......hangover and hamster poo dont go together

Good luck with the hamster poo

That is a brave thing you are attempting

I think I would probably have a cuppa and a bacon butty first

morning everyone, also jealous of everyone who was out drinking last night dont envy you atm though shabs
had to go shopping for a new coat for DS1 he lost his other one at school- how? then just watched a film. DS2 decided to wake at 12 and wouldnt go back to sleep til 4!!

DH found out FIL has to have chemo in a few weeks hes getting bad now & will be finished just before xmas. he cant go swimming/surfing for 2 years both big hobbies of his and cant be in close/confined contact with young kids especially under 2s for 2 years as his immunity will be really low. bout to go off and read into it a bit more on the net.

glad TM posted yesterday and good to see so many supporting her. I really hope shes ok today, I found the day after hit me hard. When reality really kicked in.

One of my darling Bs tunes. I know you like a good song Shabs, I think this is lovely and it reminds me of how I feel.

I cried for you Katie Melua

Just after I found that one I searched for one of the other songs that I played a lot around the time of Benjamins birth/death.

I have never seen the video before so was shocked to see the flower she was holding and it made me think of your Gareth and Matthew looking after my Benjamin Shabs.

I love the line "I'm stuck on a boy who fills me with joy". B makes me feel joy and despair all at the same time which to be honest is bl**dy confusing.

Sorry am sat here crying now. big soft jessie that I am.

Oops thought I ought to post the link so you can see what I mean.
Kate walsh your song

Little things just give us a sign don't they, like Shabs flowers and Tiamummys rainbow.

I also like this one. Can you tell I had just got her album around the time I had the twins. All very poignant.

kate walsh Don't Break My Heart

Sorry for being maudlin this morning.

Hope you are all well.

Right am off to search for some uplifting music as I have just found some headphones at work so can actually listen to them now as well

Ive posted this song before.........its beautiful!
find your love uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2GDG1sNHJE

sorry i'll try again....
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2GDG1sNHJE

Am v. jealous that you lot were all out having fun last night....apart from Charleymouse, that is! Although obviosuly not quite so jealous of sore heads and hamster poo!

FM, I'm glad Eris gave us a reason to know each other too. Would change it all like a shot, but am always glad that some smiles and happiness come from it too.

Was looking at Christmas decorations in Notcutts earlier and suddenyl felt smewhat overwhelmed with grief. I think the realisation that she won't actually be here with me for her first christmas. I want to get a special decoration for her to go on the tree, but they all seemed not special enough. I hadn't really thought before, but christmas will be hard without her won't it? Especially as I'll be seeing my nephew (born 12 days before Eris) and knwoing how the 2 of them would have been having their first christmas together.

But on a positive note, I bit the bullet and bought a really cute little newborn cardigan today. I'm scared of "jinxing" things but, like my mum said, I have to have hope. It's the first thing I've bought for the baby!!

And get this! Discussing potential names with dp the other evening and he suggested Regina!!!!!! Shortly followed by Sandy (after the squirrel from Spongebob FFS!). What am I to do?????