For Bereaved Mummies. Remembering Jack and our other precious little ones... the sharing of hurt is the beginnning of healing.

[lottiejenkins]

Third time lucky........ Thanks to Shabs and FMN. I hope i can carry the baton as well as you did. I havent made a good start though. Things can only get better.........

Just been reading messages from Tiasmum - it takes me back. I feel sick, reliving how I felt the day before Eris's funeral - I felt sick with nerves, dread and fear then, and I am feeling it now for Tiasmum. If I could have crawled under my duvet and not faced it then I probably would have done.

God, it sucks. I know I've said it a thousand times, and I know you've all said it too, but none of us should have had to face losing a child (or children )

Does it not also FMN make you think what a long way you have come in such a short time? I remember first talking to you when you sounded as though hope had vanished...I remember thinking that I didn't know how to help you.

Your words to Tiasmummy have been heartfelt and beautiful. So glad that your darling girl introduced us all to each other.

If I was a butterfly

We had this song at Matts funeral. 90% of the children from his Primary school came and they sang it exactly like the children on this video do. By the end of the day - when most people at my mums had got quite tipsy everybody was singing it and doing the actions.

Its only been 3 years this xmas since Jack left us but after reading tiasmummy's thread it feels so long ago. I feel so sorry for her and her family and I cant stop thinking of the heartache she is going through (the heartache weve all been through and are still going through). I just feel so helpless and cant seem to find any right words. Anything I type just gets deleted cause it just seems pointless.
My DH thought it was such a lovely idea for everyone to light a candle for TM and was actually quite taken aback.

It has made us all think about what we have all been through and the progress we have made - never forgetting the one step forward and two back days. xx

someone has made another thread for Tiasmummy and people who will be lighting a candle and who want to send her a messsage for tomorrow. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/632201-please-light-a-candle-and-leave-a-message-in-support?msgid=1 2871669 should be the link? im not very good with computers.

You did a good job Mel

xxx

Have Lit. Peace go with you little one.

Candle Link here

Will see all you lovley friends in the morning. I am exhausted. Tom finishes for a week (half term) tomorrow night. Feels like he has been at high school for about 10 years and not just one term

Good night, sleep tight xxxx

Good morning all

How is everyone doing today ?

Good morning TW - not to bad at Shabster Towers thanks for asking!

Morning all, I just can't get Tiamummy off my mind today.

It is nearly a year ago that we said goodbye to Cole, and I can see what a long way I have come since then, but seeing TM's pain is just heartbreaking.

My candle is lit.

My candle is lit too

It is heartbreaking today isn't it ? I keep reliving Harrys funeral and all that happened that day . It is hard to believe we did it

Mine are lit too. I have put my sons pictures close by....it does bring everything crashing back doesn't it?

It does indeed but I know for me now that I am 6 1/2 yrs down this grim road that revisiting those early days every now and again is no bad thing . It is good to know how far we have come as well .

I would never have believed we would have gone on to have 2 more boys and to have times of happiness . I truly thought that nothing would ever make me smile again

I know what you mean, even though these newborn days are sometimes difficult at the moment, Mac has helped us heal a little bit more. It feels like we have a purpose again.

I agree with TW and Ilike when we lost Jack I was adamant I didnt want anymore kids, then one day something just clicked and I changed my mind. When we had Rhys it was hard (birth& pregnancy) but we got through it and hes a happy, healthy baby. I feel Rhys helped by being a 'discraction' and although I didnt stop thinking of Jack Rhys did make me and DH smile again- and still does. I think it helped that I had hayden when we lost Jack as we had something to carry on for, I dont like to think what would of happened if Jack was our 1st.

Have lit my candlle- although it took me 20mins to find something to light it with! I keep getting teary thinking of what Tm & family have to go through today and what weve all been through.

Hope everyones ok? x

Hi everyone,

Have lit my candle for Tia. xxx

Triplets is having computer problems but just rang to ask me to tell everyone that she is lighting a candle in Kent xxxx

Thanks Northernlurker and Mice it does bring it back but it also helps me appreciate where I have got to now. Now I can smile and laugh without feeling guilty, I can look at my DCs and be grateful for what I have not just what I could have had. It is hard but Mumsnet is a fantastic supprt and really helped me in the early days so it is only fair to give something back when possible.

Shabster thank-you for your suggestion of lighting a candle for Tia and her family it is helping me and hopefully it will bring some comfort to Tiamummy.

Mel I know what you mean I had the DCs to carry on for it must be especially hard to lose your firstborn. I

Right my alarm has just gone off to remind me to light the candle as if I needed any reminding it has been on my mind all morning

there is a light shining for tia and all our little ones in Glasgow

Yes, Shabs, I have come a long way I know. And lots of it thanks to you lovely lot.

Wonder how Tiasmum is doing? I bet she feels utterly drained. The build up to the funeral is so completely exhausting isn't it? As I recall, I felt quite "nothingy" for a couple of weeks afterwards, I suppose because every emotion had been dragged from me and there was nothing there for a little while.

But getting through the funeral will hopefully be a milestone for Tiasmum and her grieving will now be able to change. x

Hopefully she will come onto our thread and we will all be able to help each other....

United we stand, divided we fall xxx

"United we stand" I like but I'd rather fall with you all too, not alone. If we fall together we're more likely to find something to catch on the way down to heave us all bak up again!