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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

For Bereaved Mummies. Remembering Jack and our other precious little ones... the sharing of hurt is the beginnning of healing.

1000 replies

lottiejenkins · 10/09/2008 14:01

Third time lucky........ Thanks to Shabs and FMN. I hope i can carry the baton as well as you did. I havent made a good start though. Things can only get better.........

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mel1981 · 10/10/2008 12:05

Thats great shabs! LOL

mel1981 · 10/10/2008 12:08

The little girl in the monsters one is so cute bless her

shabster · 10/10/2008 12:19

Its good to have a laugh isin't it?

I better go and get some work done before Tom is coming home from school

Thanks for the company Mel xxx

mel1981 · 10/10/2008 12:31

No worries hun catch up soon, enjoy your day. xx

shabster · 10/10/2008 14:54

Thought everybody would like to know - Triplets husband is battling cancer. She just rang me to say he has been for his check up and the small lesions on his liver have GONE!! and the large mass has reduced by 50 PER CENT!! They have gone, with the triplets, for a break to Devon and the holiday all hinged on the results yesterday.

She is a true friend - loyal, loving and compassionate. I am so thrilled for her. They have a way to go until her DH is 'better' but this is just the greatest news

lottiejenkins · 10/10/2008 16:04

That is really brilliant news!! Something really positive for them to hold onto! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

OP posts:
hazygirl · 10/10/2008 19:09

oh shabs tell triplets im so thrilled this is wonderful news im so pleased.xxxxgood news at lastxx

mel1981 · 10/10/2008 20:20

Thats great news im so happy for her& her family. Hope they enjoy their holiday. x

Thelighthousekeeper · 10/10/2008 21:52

Hi Everyone.

Shabs - thats great news about Triplets DH. Hope they are able to enjoy their break.
I'm on Facebook if you want to add me (Sarah Barber-Walkley, I have a photo of Noah as my profile pic). If anyone else wants to add me too that would be lovely.

Wilbury - Happy belated birthday for Harry. You are both in my thoughts. xx

Hope you all have a good weekend. We have Noah's Godparents coming to stay for the weekend, the first time since he died. It's so unfair that he won't be here with us.

mel1981 · 10/10/2008 23:26

Ive sent you an add on FB lighthouse feel free to accept if you like. x

shabster · 11/10/2008 01:18

Just got home. Only me awake. Just found the beautiful Noah on FB. So cute. xxxx

feedmenow · 11/10/2008 10:33

Morning all!
Blimey, I'm so busy at work at the moment that I'm still missing days at a time!

Hazy, how is fil doing?

Shabs, that is bloody fabby about Trips dh! I'm so pleased they've gone away (I recall her being concerned incase he wasn't well enough?)

Ilike, e knew it was you even with your halloween fancy dress outfit n! You can't hide from us! How is your little cute pie doing?

FM, that poem brings tears to my eyes every time.....

Interesting conversation you were all having about god. Maybe you can help me with something. We had a letter from the funeral director last week saying that they hold a service each year for the families of those who they've been "involved with". It is at the local church. Now the thing is, I am not religious, I don't believe in god in a christian way (or any other religion for that matter) and I often object to the way things are said in a church environment. BUT I want to commemorate my daughter and remember her short life. I realise that the majority of rememberance services every year will be religious. So do we go? Despite my non-religious views I feel that I want her remembered. I kow I'm rambling a bit on this, but just can't decide on the best course. Would it be hypocritical to go?

Anyway, need to g shopping soon. Dd1 is off on her first residential school trip a week on Monday and we need to go out and get a few bits and peices. Don't know who is more nervous - her or me!

P.S. I am on Facebook too (although go on there less frequesntly than I make it here!). I am Jackie Hammond - piccie of me in a bronze dress swigging from a bottle of tequila!

shabster · 11/10/2008 11:27

FMN - I dont think you are being a hypocrit. I think you want to show your love for your daughter. xxx

mel1981 · 11/10/2008 12:12

FMN my funeral director done the same thing and we were invited, im in no way religious but felt exactly the same as you. so we decided to go, it was long and for me a bit tedious but there were so many people there and just to hear Jacks name read out was so comforting in a way, knowing that he hadnt been forgotten by others. We havent been again I guess I felt once was enough or maybe I needed it in the early days to help me gat it through.
But whatever the reasons I dont think its hypocritical you want to commerate your daughter and thats just natural. Do what you feel is best, no one can judge your choice.

Im off to a pumpkin fayre today- my dads a crazy man who spends his days growing stupidly sized pumpkins and puts them into competitions. so thought we'd take the boys there for a few hours, should be erm... fun, LOL

shabster · 11/10/2008 12:31

We went to a similar service last year.

It was a rememberance service for lost loved ones.

We put our messages down on paper and the vicar read them all out.

'In memory of Gareth and Matthew - only a whisper away'

'In memory of Kostas Noussi - a dearly loved friend in Rhodes, Greece.'

Kostas was my buddy Nikos' brother who was killed in a scooter accident a couple of years ago. I told Nikos we had put his name down and he was so appreciative.....it was wonderful to hear their names...I wanted to shout out loud and clap even louder

...and all that from a woman who said on this thread 'there is no such thing as God!!' the service was very, very comforting.

frasersmummy · 11/10/2008 16:32

I dont mean to be contentious .. but we decided against our local memorial service because we thought it would be too impersonal.. Fraser would just be lost as one little loss amongst so many.

But we all deal with these things differently... fmn ..do what feels right for you.

every christmas our local hospice runs a "light up a life " campaign. My mum gives them a donation and in return we get a christmas card saying a light is shining on the xmas tree in memory of Fraser

my inlaws got a new telly and stand delivered today so my dh and ds are round there setting it up.. so I am sat here drinking wine, watching high society and singing along..

lottiejenkins · 11/10/2008 16:49

High Society is my FAVOURITE film... the gorgeous Grace and the wonderful Bing and Frank not to forget the legendary Satchmo! You have good taste FM!!

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shabster · 11/10/2008 17:26

My favourite film of all time is 'Shirley Valentine' xx

hazygirl · 11/10/2008 17:41

shabs my fav is shirley valentine too.
fmn fil ok dh took him shopping today,while i was at work ,cant treat him but hes coping and consultant says he will be ok for a bit
i had girls yesterday and ol must have been snopping in spare room ,told her mum there was some pyjamas she must have,later asked her wher you could buy them.silly granny she said you know youve already bought them upstairs,shes so funny atm

frasersmummy · 11/10/2008 21:00

oh god I have just seen another thread where poor tiasmum has lost her 4mth old dd

I have invited her to come join us..

shabster · 12/10/2008 00:48

Oh Frasers Mammy - show her the way to us - we will all try and help xxxxx

shabster · 12/10/2008 00:51

FM do you know how to link it to our thread? Is there anything I can do to help? xx

shabster · 12/10/2008 09:22

Good morning girls xx

lottiejenkins · 12/10/2008 10:29

Morning all............ i rolled home from the disco at 12.45am ........ think i may have to apologise to the neighbours for my drunken rendition of Dancing Queen as i walked home !!!

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frasersmummy · 12/10/2008 12:25

I thought i had linked tiasmum thread to ours last night .. but too many glasses of pinot grigot means my link didnt work

I cant seem to create a link to that thread either .. but here is the address

shabs maybe you could fix this for me please

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/625050-my-beautiful-daughter-died-in-her-sleep

god you would never know i work in IT would you {blush]

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