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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My Baby Boy died suddenly 4 weeks ago aged 10 weeks.

244 replies

Thelighthousekeeper · 01/07/2008 22:10

Hi, I'm new here and am finding it very hard to cope since my son died. I put him to bed in the early hours of the 4th June and woke up just before 6am to find he had died.
I just miss him so much and spend every minute of every day thinking of him yet all around me life goes on as normal and I find this really hard.

Has anyone here gone through this? how did you cope?

OP posts:
rowe · 18/07/2008 22:31

i have cried a million tears tonight for you and your family. Im sorry for your loss! Keep talking honey and hug you daughter she needs you sweetie .

Izzybel · 18/07/2008 22:48

Lighthouse, I am so so sorry for your loss.
I just had a look at your profile. He is such a beautiful little boy.
Thinking of you and your family at this awful time xx

Ledodgy · 18/07/2008 22:51

Lighthouse I'm so, so sorry to read this. You are in my thoughts. x

ilovemydog · 18/07/2008 23:02

The photos of baby Noah are lovely. It's so nice to put a name to a face.

He won't be forgotten...

robinredbreastmummy · 18/07/2008 23:26

lighthousekeeper, i am so very sorry for your loss.
my heart goes out to you.
what a beautiful name noah and what beautiful pictures.
my cousins baby died last year sadly. she had a brain tumor.
the loss of a baby or child is the worse loss in the world and every mothers worst nightmare.

i hope you and your family get all the support and help you need, please keep posting and telling us how your doing.
your dd sounds wonderful, very thoughtful too.

thinking of you

edam · 18/07/2008 23:31

I am so very sorry, lighthousekeeper.

robinredbreastmummy · 18/07/2008 23:33

also forgot to say, please please do not feel guilty going away with your dd dh. you all need each other so much.
noah is in your hearts and will always be with you wherever you go xxxxx

MmeLindt · 18/07/2008 23:37

Lighthousekeeper,
just had a look at your pictures, what a loving family you have. The love that you have for each other shines out of your photos.

for you all

Original poster
Thelighthousekeeper · 18/07/2008 23:39

Hi everyone,
I continue to be so overwhelmed by the lovely messages and comments about my darling Noah.

As I mentioned yesterday, we are off on holiday tommorrow, back late Thursday so I hope to catch up with you then. I just don't want anyone to think I was ignoring them if anybody posted in the meantime.

Robinredbreastmummy - I'm so sorry for your cousins loss. How is she doing one year on?

OP posts:
ilovemydog · 18/07/2008 23:46

Have a great holiday!

robinredbreastmummy · 19/07/2008 00:00

lighthousekeeper, thankyou, she is actually doing really well and now has a beautiful baby girl who is about 2 months old.
it was different for my cousin as she knew it was terminal my 2nd cousin had lots of chemo but in the end the tumor just kept growing.
and nothing more could be done.
she died at 18months old but spent half her life in hospital.
my cousin also has an older boy which really help her and her dh to carry on.
it was such a shock when we found out she had cancer though because up until she was 9 months old you would not have know anything was wrong.
the death of a baby or child is just so heartbreakingly unfair.

robinredbreastmummy · 19/07/2008 00:11

ive just had another look at your photos, they are so beautiful.
have you got lots of photos?
i really love the one where noahs dad is looking at him, that is the look of love.
and the one of your dd and noah.

love to you xxxxxxxxxxxxx

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 19/07/2008 00:59

LHK just wanted to add my thoughts and prayers and tears to the others for the so, so sad loss of Noah. I hope that you will find peace one day in the future. Know that he is safe and loved, and will always be with you, smiling.

wabbit · 19/07/2008 01:16

I have just seen your thread LightHousekeeper... I have only my heartfelt sympathy to offer

My sister lost her daughter at 16months, she touched all of our lives with warmth and light that we carry in our hearts each and every day... Little Noah will be with you always, just as Gigi is with us

Take Care xxx

youcannotbeserious · 19/07/2008 16:34

LHK - Hope you have a good holiday.

We are always here and thinking of you and Noah. xxxx

ZipadiSuzy · 25/07/2008 12:56

I am so sorry, what a beautiful baby 'Noah' lovely pictures! hope you could all enjoy your holiday

mamadiva · 25/07/2008 13:09

I don't really know what to say only that I'm so sorry for your loss but happy that you had what little time you had with him. You look such a lovely family and he was well loved and cared for that's why he decided to show you his smile I reckon. I am crying so much reading this I truly don't know how you cope. All my love and regards XXX

Zebraa · 25/07/2008 13:13

I am so so sorry for your tragic loss. Have you thought about speaking to a Bereavement Counsellor? It will take time and will be very hard but I think it's important you get some professional support in helping you come to terms with your loss.

Enjoy your holiday as much as possible. Thinking of you lots.

Zebraa · 25/07/2008 13:16

Sorry, just to add: you may feel like you're not ready to speak to anyone about it or that you don't want to accept it, but you can speak to your counsellor about how you're feeling and she will go at your own pace, allowing you to grieve in your own time but will just provide a bit of support for you that isn't immediately involved. A shoulder to cry on who will know what to say. Good luck x

Original poster
Thelighthousekeeper · 29/07/2008 22:00

Back from our holiday now. It was all quite emotional. It was nice to get away and have a change of scene, but it just felt so wrong and I did feel guilty that Noah was not there with us (although I hope he was in spirit.

OP posts:
chipmonkey · 29/07/2008 23:24

thelighthousekeeper, of course he was with you in spirit, he is with you all the time. That's what I believe, anyway.

Original poster
Thelighthousekeeper · 29/07/2008 23:36

I really want to believe he's always with us. I have a friend who visited his grave whilst we were away and she is a very spiritual person and said she could feel his spirit at the grave. Has anyone else experienced that? If so whats it like?

Zebraa - I've not spoken to any counsellors but I do have a befriender through FSID. We've spoken on the phone a few times and that helps.

OP posts:
hollyandnoah · 29/07/2008 23:38

lighthousekeeper, i am so so sorry. I can not imagine just how hard it must be. You will be in my prayers tonight x

thumbwitch · 29/07/2008 23:46

LHK - glad you had a nice getaway - remember that your Noah is always with you in your heart and mind; his spirit will always be around as well.

I have had the feeling of that after my Nan died - I went to her house and just had this feeling that she was there in the back room with me (even though I knew she wasn't) and it was a warm comforting feeling, a sort of "don't worry about me, I'm fine now" feeling. You might find you dream about him after a while as well - I have just had a few dreams about my mum (who died this time last year).

I am so for you - I hope it gets easier to cope with.
xx

Original poster
Thelighthousekeeper · 29/07/2008 23:53

Thumbwitch - I'm so sorry for your losses. I hope you were okay on your Mum's anniversary.

Holly- I just had a nosey at your profile. Your Noah is so very sweet.

OP posts: