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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My Baby Boy died suddenly 4 weeks ago aged 10 weeks.

244 replies

Thelighthousekeeper · 01/07/2008 22:10

Hi, I'm new here and am finding it very hard to cope since my son died. I put him to bed in the early hours of the 4th June and woke up just before 6am to find he had died.
I just miss him so much and spend every minute of every day thinking of him yet all around me life goes on as normal and I find this really hard.

Has anyone here gone through this? how did you cope?

OP posts:
Habbibu · 01/07/2008 22:24

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your lovely boy. Please talk on here (and also second SANDS recommendation) whenever and about whatever you need to - you will always have shoulders to cry on and ears to listen.

BouncingTurtle · 01/07/2008 22:25

So sorry for your loss.

BouncingTurtle · 01/07/2008 22:25

So sorry for your loss.

Califrau · 01/07/2008 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

K999 · 01/07/2008 22:27

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through.

popstar · 01/07/2008 22:29

I'm so sorry to hear that The lighthousekeeper. What was his name?

Psychomum5 · 01/07/2008 22:31
Sad
Original poster
Thelighthousekeeper · 01/07/2008 22:32

Thank you everyone for your kind messages.
Elmosgirl asked if I'd say something about him. His name was Noah. He was such a lovely little boy, born 3 weeks early and was really placid. He loved to be held and cuddled and would often cry if put in his crib or bouncy chair, but as soon as he was picked up he was happy and contented. The day before he died he had started smiling and at the time I thought how heartbreaking they were, now even more so.
It so nice to have so many kind words. Thank you.

OP posts:
kd73 · 01/07/2008 22:32

I am so sorry to hear of your loss

NorthernLurker · 01/07/2008 22:33

That's a lovely name. He sounds so precious.

kd73 · 01/07/2008 22:33

He sounds really beautiful, life can be so unkind at times.

elkiedee · 01/07/2008 22:35

I'm sorry

youcannotbeserious · 01/07/2008 22:35

I'm so sorry

I wish there was more I could say.

Habbibu · 01/07/2008 22:35

He sounds like a wonderful boy, who knew nothing but love and cuddles and closeness all his life. I love that name.

margoandjerry · 01/07/2008 22:36

lighthousekeeper, thank you for telling us about your lovely boy. You will always find someone on MN who can listen, support, understand.

I have no experience of this horrendous loss but I know there are people on here who will be here for you if you need them.

uptomyeyes · 01/07/2008 22:38

Noah is a truly beautiful name. I have not had to experience loss like yours, I can barely imagine how you must be feeling Lighthousekeeper, but I just wanted to offer my support and my thoughts. I think if you were to post on the Sunflower Thread you would definitely receive a lot of practical help, emotional support and friendship.

xxxx

Elmosgirl · 01/07/2008 22:40

Thank you for sharing, I love the name Noah, was what we (I) had wanted had DD2 been a boy, was he a March baby or April?

I wish I knew a way to help you cope, i'm not sure there is one after losing a child. I'm glad I didn't offend you by asking about him, is hard to know what to say. I'm so sorry that Noah died, it must be an impossible thing to get your head round at the moment.

Wisteria · 01/07/2008 22:43

I'm sorry I'm sure that you will find a great deal of support here - sending you love and strength x

smallwhitecat · 01/07/2008 22:45

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Message withdrawn

Original poster
Thelighthousekeeper · 01/07/2008 22:53

He was born in March. I had been convinced I would have another girl so was rather shocked when the midwife said it was a boy. My DD is 3 and in the last month of the pregnancy she had changed from saying boys were 'gusting' (disgusting!) to saying he would be a boy and wanting a brother. She was so pleased to have a brother and was always saying 'I love my little brother' and wanting to kiss and hug him.
It's hard to know how much this is affecting her apart from the obvious and I try to be strong for her and not let her see me cry but its just so hard.

OP posts:
notjustmom · 01/07/2008 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buda · 01/07/2008 23:10

I am so so sorry. How heartbreaking.

MN is a fab place for support. Unfortunately others have been through the same heartbreak - hopefully you will find MN a help.

SparklyGothKat · 01/07/2008 23:15

I;m so sorry I have a 9 month old and can't imagine life without him, can't begin to think what you are going through.

Aitch · 01/07/2008 23:17

how wonderful that you cuddled him and he knew he was loved, loved, loved. i'm so sorry, you must miss him unbearably.

MissingMyHeels · 01/07/2008 23:19

I am so so sorry My DD is also a March baby and I can't imagine how devastated you must be.

MN is a fantastic place for support and I hope you are getting lots of it in real life too. Be kind to yourself and take your time to grieve.