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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My Baby Boy died suddenly 4 weeks ago aged 10 weeks.

244 replies

Thelighthousekeeper · 01/07/2008 22:10

Hi, I'm new here and am finding it very hard to cope since my son died. I put him to bed in the early hours of the 4th June and woke up just before 6am to find he had died.
I just miss him so much and spend every minute of every day thinking of him yet all around me life goes on as normal and I find this really hard.

Has anyone here gone through this? how did you cope?

OP posts:
thebecster · 03/07/2008 09:54

Oh lighthousekeeper I just found this thread and am so very sorry for your loss. Noah sounds like an adorable little boy. Thinking of you.

cocolepew · 03/07/2008 09:54

So sorry for your loss x

smugmumofboys · 03/07/2008 09:59

I'm so sorry for your loss. x

micci25 · 03/07/2008 09:59

i cant really add anymore than others have said. im so sorry for your loss and hope that you can find some comfort in the support you are given here and from people who have experienced similar!

Noah sounds like such a happy and loved baby.

thinkng of you and you dh and dd today. i cannot begin to imagine what you are going through. x

reethi96 · 03/07/2008 10:00

I am so so sorry for your loss.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 03/07/2008 10:01

Hi there Lighthouse keeper, I am so sorry to hear about your darling son.

I lost my son late last year (he was 15 months old), so I can relate to how you are feeling at the moment.

I am on the Sunflower thread that has been mentioned above. Come over and join us, or just lurk if that is what feels right for you.

Please feel free to email me greensj @ waterswood co uk and we can talk further.

So much love to you xx

ShowOfHands · 03/07/2008 10:07

I'm so sorry to hear about your little boy. You gave him such a lovely name.

I'm pleased you've found Mumsnet. Sadly, there are too many members who understand exactly the way you are feeling. I hope you find lots of support here.

I've said a little prayer for Noah. I hope you don't mind.

bubblagirl · 03/07/2008 10:09

just wanted to say im so sorry to hear your sad loss i hope you can find some comfort speaking to other mums who have been through the same and keep his memory alive remember you did nothing wrong i hope you can find some comfort soon xx not very good with words im afraid just didnt want to not aknowledge your thread

Original poster
Thelighthousekeeper · 03/07/2008 21:55

Hello everyone, thanks so much for all of your lovely messages. It has really been helpful to have so many people offering advice and support - my DH and I couldn't believe how many of you had taken the time to answer. Some of you have given me email addresses and I will be contacting you if thats okay.
We are trying to take one day at a time. Yesterday was hard as it was 4 weeks since Noah died, on one hand it seems like yesterday that it happened in other ways longer. We go to see him at the cemetry every day, its only a 10 min walk from our house and we walk over with the dog, its a comfort going there. sometimes DD comes with us, we told her its Noah's special place and she likes coming with us, this morning she was drawing a picture and she send it was for Noah and that we had to take it to his special place which I found really touching. xx

OP posts:
triplets · 03/07/2008 22:06

Hello..........its good your darling daughter goes with you, our triplets have always come to the cemetery when we take Matthews flowers and also my Dads, he is buried in front of Matthew. We have spoken about Matthew to them ever since they were old enough to understand, they talk about him quite naturally, in fact one teacher said to me once, I didn`t know you had an older child, who is Matthew? She was so upset when I told her. It is Matthews birthday on the 9th, he will be 29, unbelievable, 14 when he died. I firmly believe he will be 29, not would be. Like you we used to go to the cemetery daily, as time went by it became weekly, then monthly, now its mainly the "special" days or just when we feel we need to. Its very hard for you at this time, oh I remember the pain and awfulness so well, the tears that never ended, it is a living hell. Please let me know if there is anything I can ever do for you, lots of love xxxx

hellymelly · 03/07/2008 22:12

Nothing I can add that hasn't been said but wanted to say how sorry I am,everyone on here who reads your posting will be thinking of you and shedding a tear for your little boy,I really feel for you.I am so sorry.

Sidge · 03/07/2008 22:14

I am so sorry to hear that you no longer have your darling boy here with you.

Wishing you peace and strength and a heart full of sweet memories of Noah.

shreddies · 03/07/2008 22:15

I am so so sorry for your loss. Noah is a lovely name and he sounds gorgeous. What a sweetheart your daughter is.

lilyloo · 03/07/2008 22:15

I am so for you and your family

youcannotbeserious · 03/07/2008 22:15

TLK.... I, like so many other MNers, are thinking of you and praying for you - in our various ways.

I haven't ever lost a child. I have a 6WO son, so can't even begin to comprehend your loss, but my DH lost a son at 16WO and he is reliving a lot of the pain you are experiencing. so much so, that at times, I think he feels terrible for loving our son, because his other son isn't here.

We, like you (though in different circumstances) are taking each day as it comes. You cannot always tell if you will feel OK (like you can manage to get through the day) or not.

I am so, so sorry for your wonderful son.

I am always here.... and will always consider Noah in my prayers.

StrangeTown · 03/07/2008 22:19

I'm so sorry for your loss - it's absolutely heartbreaking.

3andnomore · 03/07/2008 22:31

I don't really know what to say, but that I am so very sorry for you! I think I can honestly say, that that must be a motehrs/parents worst nightmare....to loose their child...the thought alone is unbearable, so, to have to live through it....!
Please be gentle to yourself and take the time to grieve, it's natural that you find it hard to cope and it's natural that you can't stop thinking about your little one...things will never be the same, but, hopefully with time things will get easier.
Also try to think about the lovely moments your little Angel brought to you.
Sending you lots of hugs!

Pannacotta · 03/07/2008 22:31

How truly devastating for you and your family, am very sorry for your loss.
Noah is such a sweet name and what a lovely description of him.
It really is heartbreaking.

hunkermunker · 03/07/2008 22:33

I'm so sorry for the loss of your much-loved little boy. Your DD sounds adorable - I hope she gives you strength at such a sad time xx

andiem · 03/07/2008 22:41

I am so sorry to read about the loss of your baby son noah

buttercreamfrosting · 03/07/2008 22:53

Lighthouse my heart is breaking for you. And all the others on this thread who have suffered such a terrible loss

katpotat · 03/07/2008 23:05

I am so sorry for you loss x

youngbutnotdumb · 03/07/2008 23:09

Lighthouse Keeper

Like so many others I just wanted to leave a message to say I'm so sorry for your loss, I haven't been through it myself but 2 close family members have and I cannot imagine ho hard it must be to comprehend what has happened. I was reading about your darling little Noah, although it seems bittersweet his little smiles to you such a short time before he gained his wings goes to show that he was loved and was showing he loved you too.

My thoughts and love to you and your family x

Sleep tight little angel Noah you'll be happy up in heaven playing with all the other angels who've been taken too soon. xxx

jumble · 03/07/2008 23:11

God bless you and your little boy.

onepieceoflollipop · 03/07/2008 23:11

So sorry lighthousekeeper. xx