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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My Baby Boy died suddenly 4 weeks ago aged 10 weeks.

244 replies

Thelighthousekeeper · 01/07/2008 22:10

Hi, I'm new here and am finding it very hard to cope since my son died. I put him to bed in the early hours of the 4th June and woke up just before 6am to find he had died.
I just miss him so much and spend every minute of every day thinking of him yet all around me life goes on as normal and I find this really hard.

Has anyone here gone through this? how did you cope?

OP posts:
Bridie3 · 02/07/2008 08:29

Your name here is well-chosen, lighthousekeeper. Because you're keeping a flame of love alight for him, aren't you?

WeeBesom · 02/07/2008 08:34

I am so sorry for your terrible loss

Sending lots of love xx

MmeLindt · 02/07/2008 08:35

So sorry for your loss, lighthousekeeper. Little Noah sounded like a lovely little boy.

Thinking of you and your family.

Ladytophamhatt · 02/07/2008 08:37

Oh lighthousekeeper, you paint such a beautiful picture of noah in my mind.

I'm so sorry.

xxx

ajandjjmum · 02/07/2008 08:40

So sorry for the loss of Noah. x

Umlellala · 02/07/2008 08:46

So sorry to hear of your loss. Do keep sharing about him, and with your dd too. I too think it's ok for her to see you crying and for you to be sad together.

wessexgirl · 02/07/2008 08:47

Noah sounds so beautiful. Devastating for you; I'm so sorry xx.

ThinWhiteDuchess · 02/07/2008 08:48

I am so, so sorry to hear of your heartbreaking loss. xxx

zeebee · 02/07/2008 16:36

I am so sorry. My younger daughter died suddenly last year, it it the most horrific, cruel thing.
I think everyone somehow finds a way to carry on - one foot in front of the other. Other children are a prime motivator - this can be a blessing but also feel like an additional burden when you just want to hide away. Please do remember that there is no right or wrong way to feel/react or act, no matter what others might say. Life carrying on is still a hard concept to deal with at times.
I found the charity Winston's Wish www.winstonswish.org.uk an invaluable source of advice and reassurance on how to deal with dd1 who was just 4yo at the time. We were also told that if we were upset it was important that she saw that too, to be reassured it was OK to have sad feelings. It feels like a minefield.
Take good care and be kind to yourselves. Cat me if you like.

orangina · 02/07/2008 16:40

So so sorry for your loss...

Bundle · 02/07/2008 16:44

Thelighthousekeeper, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I hope someone on MN will be able to help you in some small way, xxx

witchandchips · 02/07/2008 16:50

ohh i am so sorry

MKG · 02/07/2008 17:33

So sorry for your loss

MamaG · 02/07/2008 17:54

So sorry to read this

mymblemummy · 02/07/2008 23:28

Oh my dear, I am crying inside for you. I wish I could say something to help.

cornsilk · 02/07/2008 23:32

Very, very sorry for your loss.

SorenLorensen · 02/07/2008 23:38

Words are inadequate but I couldn't read and not post - I am so sorry you lost your baby boy. I hope you can find some support and virtual friendship here - there's always someone around who will 'listen'.

Frizbe · 02/07/2008 23:41

So sorry to hear about this I hope you make some friends on mumsnet who can help you shoulder your grief.

StressTeddy · 02/07/2008 23:43

Oh darling - I can't even imagine what you've been through. Love to little Noah. May he rest in peace.
So, so sorry that you are going through this. I cannot even begin to imagine your pain

Love to you and I hope you have at least one calm and peaceful night this week ( I bet that's very difficult to achieve though isn't it darling?)

Love to you

PeachyHidingInTheShed · 02/07/2008 23:45

I am so very sorry for you, your family and your beautiful baby boy.Ypur description of him was really touching and I am glad he smiled before he left you.

you are in my thoughts.

ilovewashingnappies · 02/07/2008 23:55

That's so dreadful. Pleased that you can maybe find some comfort in mumsnet and the other sites Mums have added.

I;m so glad you saw him smile. In time that will be your greatest memory and it will be a happy one.

Our babies are such precious gifts

Original poster
Thelighthousekeeper · 03/07/2008 00:11

Thank you for all your messages, you are all such lovely caring people.

OP posts:
hazygirl · 03/07/2008 09:47

i dont know if noah was like jayden and died of cot death but fsid are wonderful people and realy helpful ,i know its awful first with police involvement because of suddeness,ill never forget my dd ringing me and telling me jayden had gone,my dh was with her,i stayed at her house looking after our granddaughters,ten minutes later police arrived 2am and demanded everyone left the house as its a crime scene,my son and partner came in from nightclubbing and asked them to leave,or change attitude, but we had to bundle girls in duvets and bring to my house,.on monday coroners office and inquest follows which im sure you know,but i dreaded and they were brillant ,helpful and supportive.if you ever wanna talk im here,18 month on ,we survived,life changes,but here still.take care of yourself and big hugsxxxx

greenelizabeth · 03/07/2008 09:51

I don't know how people bear the pain. It is the worst pain I can imagine. {hug}

I hope that some people who have been through the same thing can help you.

Bundle · 03/07/2008 09:52

Thelighthousekeeper, how are things today?