DP has died. Don't know what to do.

[LlamaGiles]

My beloved DP died last night after routine surgery. A total shock. We have a 2 year old. We had plans for a second child, a bigger house and marriage and my future all evaporated in an instant. I don't know how to carry on alone. I'm in bits.

I am so sorry op. I don't have any advice but I am thinking of you

I am so very sorry for your loss LlamaGiles 💔xx

I’m so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you 💐

Try to find someone who will do the difficult job of telling others for you, that will be a bit help to you.

So so sorry for your loss OP how dreadful.
Allow yourself time to grieve, take as long as you need.

Also - can anyone else help with your child as well for a bit?

That's a good idea about asking one friend to tell others. I think I will do that. My sister told a few people yesterday including my parents. My dp's family are around but seem to be grieving in a totally different way to me, they have gone into overdrive trying to keep busy with work etc. I know they're heartbroken too they're not very good with feelings. My DP was the opposite, he was really sensitive and kind. I just want to cry.

I am so sorry my lovely

No advice except to set a timer on your phone to remind yourself to eat. I know that sounds trite when you have such huge and awful things to contend with, but you still need to xx

Oh love, I’m so, so sorry
You don’t need to ask for anything specific, just let the people who love you be there for you, and trust them to do the stuff that needs to get done, esp for your child.
You must be in shock, and will need breathing space to process things.
Sending you virtual hugs x

I am so so very sorry for your loss. Just do what you need to minute by minute.

We are all here for you whenever you need us xxx

I'm so, so sorry for your loss

Oh gosh how horrific for you. I've no helpful advice I'm afraid just wanted to say sorry

I’m so sorry. Of course you are in bits.

Don’t worry about other people finding out right now. Just focus on you and your little one and what you need.

Are your parents available to help with your DD so you can be with your sister or is the relationship not like that?

I think your DP’s parents will be in their own kind of hell at the moment and won’t know what to do with themselves either.

I had a sibling die very young and my grieving was totally different to my parents, I was angry with him, and angry at the world, and angry at them too by extension because they couldn’t understand my anger, it hurt my parents to see me grieving so differently. It’s so individual how we all feel and grieve and cope with things.

I am so sorry for your loss. Let others do things for you - one friend to handle all the friends, sister to handle the family etc Don't forget to eat and keep hydrated

I'm so sorry to hear that. Ask for help as much as possible.

Perhaps someone could make a GP appointment for you? Early next week maybe.

So very sorry for you and your dd. Let your family help you. Let them organise being there for you, they will pull together so you are not left by yourself to deal with this. Only directly tell those you feel able to - let your family deal with breaking the news to everyone else. Give your dc lots of hugs. This will be so alien to them, just hugs and reassurance. Cry and cry and cry some more. You have to let this out so you can start to learn to cope as best you can. The world is a cruel fucking unforgiving place sometimes, you will feel grief and anger and all sorts of emotions. Let them come and go. Minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day until the hard edge of this pain lessens. IT WILL NOT ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THIS. But for today and just now, it does feel like this. And that’s ok. The pain will not always be so raw and acute, but today it does. And that’s ok. Massive massive hugs and love to you and your family. Lean on them. They will Raleigh around you. Let them Help you.

I’m so sorry op. Life is incredibly cruel.

Something I didn’t know of until recently is that hospices offer grief counselling, so if you feel like you need a start please consider calling your local hospice and asking for support.

Until then, I’m sure none of us would mind you using this thread as a safe space.

💐

I’m so so sorry OP, I can’t imagine the shock of it all! I’m just so sorry. One breath at a time ok, that’s all you need to do. 💐💐💐

Im so sorry. Don't worry about what to do right now, just get through today and take support wherever you can get it

I'm so sorry

I'm very sorry for your loss.

My parents are elderly just not able to help much. In fact they are devastated as they are reaching the end of their own lives and thought I was settled and sorted so to speak.

I have just rung the bereavement office about the death certificate. I can't believe this is happening to me.

I am so sorry for your loss.

@LlamaGiles Oh, my lovely, my heart is breaking for you. I'm so very sorry that you and your little girl are having to go through this. Sending love and hugs.